True Crime With Caledonian Kitty

(Marshall Applewhite. Picture credit: imdb)

*Please be aware that I will be sharing some disturbing details in this post regarding death and, mental health issues, depressive themes and abuse. As always I have tried to be as sensitive as I can be with the details without taking away the facts of the case*

''God has sent us here as an experiment, so you might call us Guinea & Pig.'' - Marshall Applewhite

I've written about a few cults over the years and I may have mentioned this particular one briefly in the past but there's no getting away from the fact that when cults come up in conversation, Heaven's Gate is often one that is commonly mentioned. Who could forget the totally bonkers leader 'Marshall Applewhite'. If he was around today and you saw one of his videos, you'd be forgiven for believing it to be an AI creation and somebody's idea of a joke. I don't know how to describe his 'preachy' videos other than it's like you are on some type of drug, hallucinating. It's not just the whole aesthetic of his videos, it's him....he almost doesn't look real. 

All jokes aside, as out there as this cult appeared to be and certainly were, things quickly turned sour and in the end misguided (and I believe to be, quite lonely and mentally ill) people decided to take their lives. Cults are dangerous and I don't need to tell you why. They always start with the best of intentions and are like a haven for those who feel on the edge of society, lost, lonely, not loved by their parents or family. Life is hard at times as we all know and from the cults I have researched in the past it's always the same types of people who join them. People who have struggled and they just want somewhere to belong and accepted. When you find yourself lonely and then a group of people come along who can relate to you 100%, they feel exactly the same way that you may feel and then suddenly you don't feel alone anymore and that these people are your family. It's a very powerful thing to feel accepted and have (what appears to be) people around you who just want the best for you. 

Cults can be addictive, it's like one big group of people under some sort of hypnosis and there's always a 'leader' at the helm of it all, a true master of manipulation who is often quite likeable and charismatic. The likes of Charles Manson and Jim Jones are looked back on with a lot of anger but can you imagine being back in those times before things turned sour, the way these men were able to attract people to them, hold people's attention, gain their trust and admiration is something that is very intriguing, not everyone can do that. I'm not talking about these guys like they are something to be admired I'm talking about their ability to reel vulnerable people in as if to cast a spell on them. With Manson, of course, he used drugs and alcohol in his manipulation tactics whereas others just simply learned the weaknesses of their followers and exploited them. 

Please check out some of the other cults that i have previously written about, I recommend checking out:

- The Kentucky Vampire Cult

- The Most Evil Cult Leader In History? Roch Theriault

- The Narcosatanists & The Gruesome Kidnapping & Murder of Mark Kilroy

So, how did the infamous Heaven's Gate cult begin in the first place? The foundations began in 1972 when Marshall Applewhite met a woman who he would form a deep emotional bond with, her name was Bonnie Nettles. They weren't lovers, Bonnie was already married and Marshall was a closeted gay man who for one reason or another tried to reject this side of himself, his father was a Presbyterian minister so he was brought up in quite a strict, religious household. Marshall had previously been married to a woman in a way hoping that the feelings that he would have for other men would go away, they didn't, the marriage ended in divorce in 1968. Marshall and Bonnie were both very religious with a fixation on UFOs and the paranormal and just seemed to click and understand each other. Bonnie (who worked as a nurse) had a keen interest in astrology so they would often have deep conversations about life and the universe. The pair were convinced that they had known each other in a past life. 

Marshall had previously been involved in a scandal as he had lost his former professor of music position at a college for having an intimate relationship with one of his male students. Back in those times and being as religious as they and the community were, thoughts towards homosexuality were quite backward and ignorant, people who were known to be openly gay would lose their jobs and be shunned in society. 

As Marshall continued to deny his sexuality it seemed to plunge him more and more into a breakdown which he was also trying to deny. Marshall and Bonnie studied the bible meticulously and came up with their own ideas and interpretations. They were convinced that they were both the chosen messengers from God and that the two witnesses mentioned in the Book of Revelation was them. They believed that they had been brought back in their bodies (which they described as 'vehicles') to spread an important message. The two of them were 100% serious about all of this and the pair fed off of each other. Whilst all of this was going on they were involved in petty crime involving the use of a credit card that they claimed had belonged to a follower on theirs (the lady agreed that she gave them permission to use the credit card). Marshall was also sentenced to 6 months in prison for stealing a car so I don't know what kind of message from God this was supposed to be sending. Anyway, fast forward to Marshall now being out of prison, pairing up with Bonnie again and they begin their own fellowship which they called 'The Crew'. They were heavily focused on tying in both religion and their obsession with UFOs and would give open recruitment style programmes to various people who had come to see them. Some people did actually join them. 

(Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Nettles. Picture credit: foxnews)

In the beginning they had a small number of followers but that soon grew and over the years they had used a variety of nicknames for each other that they insisted on their followers addressing them as such as 'Do and Ti' and 'Bo and Peep'. Marshall's decent into madness continued to go on and he was now convinced that he was at one with Jesus Christ. Former members have said that they believed that Marshall was not a 'con-artist', they believed in him because they could see that he really believed these things to be true, he had convinced himself. In the videos where he preaches about God and that his followers are on earth for a short period of time before they rise up to the 'level above human' in their bodies (or as he called them, 'vehicles'), he speaks passionately, you could say that he was a con artist but in my opinion this was man who was insane beyond control. 

In the mid 70s, Marshall decided that they were no longer going to go on these 'recruitment drives' and took the followers that they had already acquired into hiding. They shut themselves off from the outside world and rules were put in place, no sex, no drugs, no alcohol. The followers had believed that Bonnie had been a 'special being' so when she had died of cancer, Marshall had to come up with a way to explain her death and he managed to manipulate the followers (who hung on every word he said) that he was now going to be able to work through Bonnie and take on the role fully as leader who would guide them to the level above human. 

They emerged again towards the 1990s via a website they had created called 'Higher Source'' and they would use this site for various projects including recruiting new followers. As well as the ban on sex, drugs and alcohol. Some of the members had gone through castration. The women had cut off their hair and wore baggy clothing. They would fast and try different diets and they had been cut off from their family and friends for years. Marshall had convinced his followers that the comet Hale-Bopp was going to be their sign that the time had come for them to evolve (basically leave their 'vehicles' bodies to go back to where they belonged). 

Marshall was aware that the outside world had been writing articles about his 'cult' and the followers also became aware of this. One wonders if he began to feel like he was losing control of them. Some of the followers expressed an interest in visiting their relatives, in some cases Marshall did allow them a short visit to really decide if they wanted to join the others later in the kingdom above heaven when the time came. For him to do that showed an air of confidence, he believed he had such a hold over them that they would come back and most of them did. I remember watching a documentary years ago about Heaven's Gate and there was a woman who was a Heaven's Gate member and she had made a phone call out of the blue after so long, to her parents, they were shocked to hear from her. The phone call came across as odd because the relationship between the woman and her parents seemed tense, strange, like it had always been like that. Her mother especially came across as quite critical and there was a coldness to the whole thing. In a way you (or at least I) could sense that maybe that was part of the reason this woman ended up in this cult, because she had such a uncomfortable, almost loveless relationship with her parents (I could be wrong but that's how it came across to me). Her mother at one point asked her what she had been eating and said ''You're not getting fat are you?''. They just struck me as the type of parents who were not the type that praised her. 

So, the majority of anyone who did go back to their families for a visit, did return but some did not. In October 1996 they rented a huge mansion in California and took out 'alien abduction insurance' for each member in the event that an alien kidnapped them, experimented on them etc. They had begun to prepare for their final exit and recorded videos explaining their reasons for why they were going to 'leave this planet' and that it was their choice, that they were happy and excited to go. The tapes have been available to the public for quite some time now and they make for sad and disturbing viewing, these people really believed in everything they were saying and it is heartbreaking to watch. One can only imagine how the families of these people felt seeing their loved one speaking in such a manner and then going on to take their own life. None of us know what really went on with these people and their families but in some of the documentaries I have seen, the relatives appear to be heartbroken by what happened but they felt completely powerless. 

Marshall Applewhite recorded a final video message for his followers and they began to prepare for their 'mission'. The suicides were reported to have taken place over three days. Each member was instructed to take an overdose and tie a plastic bag around their heads before laying down on their bed. Everyone was dressed in black with a pair of Nike trainers. They also had arm bands which read 'Heaven's Gate Away Team'.

''We are so excited, we don't know what we are going to do.'' - Marshall Applewhite

After it was clear that each member had passed on, another living member would arrange the bodies by taking off the plastic bags and placing a cloth over the faces. All in all, 39 members of the Heaven's Gate cult had taken their lives including Marshall Applewhite. A small number of members remained and one contacted the police anonymously to tell them to check the house.

Packages of video tapes of the exit statements had been posted out to certain members and media outlets almost like they were trying to have the final say in their story. 

The story of the Heaven's Gate cult is one that still continues to shock to this day, not just because of how bizarre the cult was or how Marshall Applewhite appeared, but partly because everything they did was so documented. They (or should I say, under instructions from Applewhite) had planned their suicides right down to the last detail, when it was going to happen, how it was going to happen, what they were going to wear and who would stay behind and arrange the bodies and receive the evidence, the statements of the members. 

So what was all this about? what was it all for? So many people taking their lives and for what? All of this because Marshall Applewhite couldn't accept his sexuality, he forced himself to live a lie for so long that it actually drove him insane. And what of Bonnie Nettles? A married mother who ran off to be with Marshall, not in a romantic way but in this strange religious, crazy journey that they were on. A crazy fantasy that ran out of control. Were these just two very depressed and mentally ill people who just met each other at the wrong time and formed this disturbing bond where they both fuelled each other's mental illness? Who knows the real story. Whatever the case, so many people are no longer with us and it's a sad fact. 

RIP to those who died and as for Marshall Applewhite? Can we hate him if he was so mentally disturbed? He led other innocent people down a path of destruction but did he do it on purpose? It's certainly is a case that will divide opinion, I would love to know yours, please leave some comments below or email me at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com

Further Reading & Sources:

- Heaven's Gate Website

- Heaven's Gate Members Exit Videos

- Cults: A True Crime Collection | Book by Wendy Biddlecombe Agsar

- Heaven's Gate | Wikipedia

- Heaven's Gate: Article | History.com

- Heaven's Gate: Article | Rolling Stone

- Heaven's Gate: Article | NBC News

- Heaven's Gate | Book by George D, Chryssides

- Heaven's Gate | Book by Charles Rivers Editors

- The Little Book of Cults | Book by Jamie King

- The Kingdom of Cults | Book by Walter Martin

Thank you as always for taking the time to read my latest post and I hope to see you on my socials as well as in my next post.

Take care until next time x 

 (From the top: Peter Connelly, Bottom row left: Steven barker. Centre: Tracey Connelly. Right: Jason Owen. Picture credits: standard / independent / bbc)

*Please be aware that this post (as you may guess from the title) is going to be a very harrowing and disturbing one. A lot of the details that I will be sharing will be very tough to read. I will, as always, try to be as sensitive as I can be without taking away the facts of the case. Sharing this story, although very difficult, is very important because changes need to be continually made to ensure the safety of all children* 

To say that this was one of the most difficult and disturbing cases that I have ever covered, is an understatement. Like so many, I was already aware of some of the details of the heartbreaking story of ''Baby P'' as Peter was known then (I think it's important to say this little angle's name: Peter Connelly) and those details were too much to take as it was. I was requested to talk about this case and asked what my view on what a suitable punishment would be for these murderers. Well my feelings on this are clear, without missing a beat I instantly thought 'Death Penalty'. There are those out there who would disagree, who are against the death penalty and although it's not a law in this country anymore, I wouldn't have an issue with it being brought back for very serous cases such as the one I'm going to share with you in this post. 

As mentioned at the start, I will be sharing some disturbing details and even though my aim is to be as gentle with what I say, this case is so horrendous that there is no possible way that I can make any of these sickening details more palatable because they simply can't be. I hope you can bare with me in this and if you're unfamiliar with the case then maybe by the end of this post you will understand my feelings in regards to the death penalty for these three creatures. 

So, there is no way to begin this story on a positive note because from the very beginning this gorgeous little boy didn't stand a chance at a decent life. Peter came into the world on the 1st of March 2006 to a ''mother'' who did not deserve him. He was born in London, England and looked like a little cherub with his blond hair, blue eyes and cheeky little face. He was adorable and anyone in their right mind would have been over the moon to have such a beautiful little boy come into their life. Tracey Connelly on the other hand was a total wreck of a person, Peter was her fourth child and she'd been brought up in a difficult home life with an alcoholic mother who also took drugs in front of her and her brother. Violent fights between Tracey's mother Mary and stepfather, Gary, were commonplace and it was no surprise that Tracey was going to face difficulties when she did leave home. 

It was no surprise that she would grow up with a lot of difficulties in terms of self esteem and self confidence, she was really self-conscious about her weight and was often looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. At the age of just 16 she met a man who was 33 years old, they would go on to have three daughters together. Despite the disturbing age gap, the relationship, if you could call it that, was not a violent one and the older man seemed to have treated her with respect and was noted as being a good father. this relationship was not to last though because not long after Peter was born, Tracey broke up with the father of her children because she became fixated with a man named Steven Barker. Unknown to a lot of people at the time, Steven was quite a disturbing individual having a bit of a violent streak in him, he was known to be aggressive, had an obsession with Nazis, was said to have had a low IQ and had tortured animals in the past. His whole demeanour was creepy but from the moment she first met him in a local bar, that was it, she couldn't wait to move him in. 

Steven's brother Jason was always hanging around the house, he'd stay over some nights and it got to the point where it was decided that he should just move in. Jason was a father of four children himself but he was also a bad egg. He also moved in with three of his four children after leaving his wife for a 15 year old girl who also moved into the house. As well as run-ins with the law, it was known that he'd started his criminal activities as young as 12 years old when he sexually assaulted an 11 year old girl. Jason even joined his brother in this disturbing obsession with Nazis and the evil pair had even committed crimes together in the past, attacking elderly people and theft amongst other disturbing things. So these two horrific individuals along with the 15 year old girl and Jason's kids, were now living in the house where other vulnerable children were. It sounds like it was a nightmare set-up and that's exactly what it turned out to be.

It's unclear when the abuse towards Peter started but it certainly wasn't long because within a month of them moving in a few bruises began to appear on Peter's body but Tracey was trying to play it off as a young child just having silly accidents, all she was interested in was Steven who she was completely infatuated with. There was clear abuse going on in that home and poor Peter was the target. Apparently there was no evidence that any of the other children came to any harm at that time (although later it was to be revealed that Peter's sisters was also a victim of abuse) but Tracey was very vocal on social media about her 'love' for Steven even going so far as to brag about their non-stop sex sessions. 

So Tracey was well aware of the abuse that was going on with Peter which was now becoming a daily occurrence, she either chose to turn a blind eye to it or engaged in some of the abuse herself. Authorities were involved and social workers were back and forth at the house but if you know much about the social services in the UK from my previous posts or what you've heard before, they're a bit of a disgrace. I've seen for myself with close family members how incompetent Social Services in the UK can be, they either make a situation worse or they do nothing at all. I was once offered the opportunity to train to be a social worker and I turned it down, it wasn't something I was interested in, the whole black and white thinking plus I've yet to have my mind changed in regards to them, I was offered a two year, part-time course to become a social worker, I refused to do it and I was also shocked that a two year part-time course was all it took to be qualified. I've known of cases where children have been in abusive situations and social workers have been aware and done nothing about it so my attitude towards them is not a positive one. 

Social workers were back and forth regularly at the Connelly household and they noted how dirty and unkempt the house was. They also noted that Tracey didn't appear to have much interest in Peter and spent the majority of the time glued to her phone, TV or laptop. Tracey was never one to make an effort with her appearance and this was also noted. I know we should never judge a book by it's cover in some cases but when it comes to children I think that the personal hygiene and self-grooming of the parents is very important because let's face it, if they can't be bothered to look after themselves properly (and I don't mean all dolled up like me, I mean a comb through the hair, brushed teeth, clean set of clothes etc) how are they going to look after a child. I think a Mother's hygiene and way of dressing is a good indication of mental health too. For example, authorities noted that the house and Tracey looked terrible and everything smelled of urine, that should raise alarms as well as the lack of interest from Tracey to Peter. 

As well as authorities knowing the conditions in which Peter was forced to live in, a number of visits to healthcare 'professionals' didn't fare better either. Despite being examined a number of times for bruises and injuries, Tracey would tell people that Peter fell down the stairs or ran into something, again notes would be made and that would be that. It makes you feel sick to your stomach at the number of missed opportunities for this child to be saved just through sheer laziness, I'm not a healthcare professional but even I would be the first to do everything in my power to remove all of those children from that situation. Maybe that's another reason why I couldn't be a social worker because I would constantly break the rules to ensure a child was safe. Some people will say that Tracey was an expert at manipulating medical professionals but I don't buy it. The number of times that Peter had been seen, the past history of this little boy's short life would have raised a lot of red flags together with the state of his living conditions and that of his mother. The police themselves later described Tracey as ''a morbidly obese slob''

Peter continued to suffer in that household until an incident where he was temporarily removed from Tracey's care and she was arrested. They all knew that Peter was being abused and information was passed back and forth from one department to the another but shockingly despite alarming concerns and a stack of evidence to prove that this child was in danger, Peter was sent back to Tracey and the house of hell. 

The heartbreaking and inevitable day came when on the morning of the 3rd of August 2007, Peter sadly passed away, his little body couldn't take any more and to have survived as long as he did in that household is nothing short of a miracle and shows just what a little fighter he was. An ambulance was called to the house of hell and paramedics were shocked at the conditions in which they were met with. The place looked and stank horrendous, there was feces all over the floor, Nazi materials, noticeable insects and what looked like fleas around the house and an even more disturbing sight of a small dead animal on a table, noted to be a rabbit that had been dismembered. Kids were living in this horrific and disgusting mess. The paramedics were there to get Peter to take him to the hospital because at that point they didn't know what sort of condition he was in. 

It was a shocking sight for seasoned paramedics, a sight none of them will ever forget because the state of the house was one thing but the conditions in which they found this poor little boy was something that you just couldn't bare to describe. It was clear he was either deceased or dying, this poor child was utterly destroyed and they tried so hard to save him. The paramedics didn't give up and carried on, all the way even whilst he was in the ambulance, but it was no use, Peter was gone and to be honest....free! Free of the endless pain and suffering, free of nobody doing a damn thing to help this poor child. The mountain of evidence of injuries, the state of the house, the state of Tracey, the numerous 'professionals' who examined him, the number of visits by social services, the endless visits to hospitals, when was someone going to to finally do something? He was just a little baby, he couldn't survive that hell for much longer, none of us as adults could either. 

The autopsy was horrific, Peter's body had endured months and months of hell for the majority of his 17 months on this earth. His little body was frightening to look at and the photographs taken at his autopsy for evidence were deemed too disturbing to view that some evidence was shown as a diagram drawing instead. 

His injuries were as follows (please be aware that this makes for disturbing reading): 

- He was very malnourished, he had been punched with such force that he swallowed his tooth. The tooth was later found in his stomach. His gums had signs of injury and bleeding and the tip of his tongue was missing. 

- There were numerous injuries to his head on the scalp, skull and internally. Part of his ear looked like it had been ripped off.

- His fingernails and toenails were partially black with signs that a few of them had been ripped off. Some skin was also missing from his fingers. 

- Injuries and bruising to his chest suggested that Peter had been regularly held very tightly or squeezed with force in this area. He also had broken ribs.

- Some skin on his nose was missing.

- Cigarette burn marks were also found on his body. 

- His back was broken and there was considerable bleeding around his spine. 

The autopsy showed that there was not one area of Peter's body that did not have an injury. His cause of death was determined to be due to the severe spinal injury which caused him to bleed internally in combination with all he had endured up to that point. 

The injuries noted totaled at 50 and the condition in which Peter's body was in, coroner's likened it to that of a car crash victim. 

Authorities had been in contact with Tracey just days before Peter had died, he'd even seen a Doctor who reportedly found nothing wrong with him despite Peter having broken ribs. All this Doctor had to say was that Peter was fine and that he seemed to be a bit cranky. Peter's biological father had seen him just days before his death and his response was pathetic too, apparently himself and his mother were concerned about the marks on Peter's body and the state that the poor child was in but they chose to do absolutely nothing about it because their attitude was that the hospital or someone else would be dealing with the matter. I don't know how any of these people sleep at night. 

If it was anybody else's child you would contact authorities because the child is clearly going through hell and is in danger, if it's your own son, and you were Peter's father, you'd go to that house and bang the door down, kidnap him, get the police to their door, anything, you wouldn't just sit there and expect someone else to deal with it. Poor Peter never stood a chance with any of this lot and just to add here, Peter's father may not have been involved in the abuse but he sat back and failed to act, he had concerns, he knew what kind of person Tracey, was he wasn't blind, he could see what was going on but chose to do nothing, it's a disgrace in my book. Maybe he was scared of the two brothers? whatever the reason there's no excuse. Peter was failed by everyone. 

Peter's father actually got a pay out of £74,000 from a magazine some time later because they falsely described him in an article as a 'convicted paedophile'. 

The police wasted no time in arresting Tracey, who was now pregnant and the brothers were nowhere to be seen. They went on the run for about 11 days but were eventually found and arrested. They all pleaded not guilty to murder but Tracey did plead guilty to the charge of causing or allowing the death to have occurred. At one point James was claiming that he was completely innocent and that he walked into Peter's room to find Steven stood over the cot looking out of breath and sweating profusely whilst Peter looked lifeless. Steven denied this. All three of them were blaming each other at this point.

When the time for trial came around, all three were still claiming that they did not murder Peter. For some unbelievable reason, the murder charges against the brothers were dropped because apparently there wasn't enough evidence to prove they had intentionally murdered Peter despite the mountain of evidence. They were all found guilty for causing or allowing the death of Peter. 

(Steven Barker. Picture credit: telegraph)

In 2008 Tracey and Steven were back in court again but this time it was involving another case where another child was the victim. They had been accused of the sexual assault of a two year old girl who's identity was not revealed but it turned out that this poor child was indeed living at the house of hell with these three people. The victim was possibly Tracey's daughter, this horrible abuse (which had happened a number of times and before Peter's death) continued to take place in Tracey's bedroom and Tracey was fully aware of it and had apparently told Steven to stop, he wouldn't. He's a sick monster but is she the mother from hell or is she the mother from hell? Absolutely horrendous! 

Both trials were sentenced together on the 22nd of May 2009 and the sentences were as follows: Tracey Connelly received an indefinite imprisonment for public protection, subject to a minimum of five years. Steven Barker was sentenced to life imprisonment with a minimum of 10 years for the horrendous sexual assaults of the two year old girl. He also received a pathetic 12 year sentence for the death of Peter. Steven's brother James received a pathetic three years. Not surprisingly the sentences caused absolute outrage and the three monsters actually had the sickening audacity to appeal them. It didn't work out for them though especially for James Owen, Steven's brother who ended up having his sentence doubled. 

This case was one of the most disturbing and heartbreaking to have ever occurred in British history. We thought that things had improved with things in place for keeping our children safe and protected especially since the horrifying case of little Victoria Climbie. Victoria was murdered by her great-aunt and her great-aunt's boyfriend after being subjected to constant horrendous abuse. Victoria died in 2000 and it was revealed that there were numerous times where she could have been saved had authorities stepped in and done their jobs properly. An inquiry into this case was supposed to have resulted in tougher procedures and child safety measures but as we see with Peter and the most recent case of the horrific torture and murder of 10 year old Sara Sharif (by her own father after authorities ignored evidence and constant reports for fear of being branded racist) nothing has changed, our children are still being let down by our broken system. 

Tracey Connelly was released from prison in 2013 but soon ended up back behind bars after she had breached her bail conditions by apparently selling naked photographs of herself. I know what you're thinking, same thing as I am....who would buy them? On the 7th of July 2022 she was given parole again but I'm pleased to say that she was sent back to prison in September 2024 and that's where she currently is and I hope they keep her there. Steven Barker is still serving his sentences and refuses to take part in any treatment programs or any sort of counselling, he has never shown any remorse, none of them have. James was released and is apparently living under another name for his own protection. 

If you have made it this far in the post, I thank you so much for getting through this with me. The case of Peter Connelly who was known for a long time as ''Baby P'', was one that none of us will ever forget. The British public took Peter to their hearts and I'm sure anyone reading this, no matter what country you are currently in, will no doubt do the same. Peter deserved better, so did the other children in that house of hell and the little girl who was also abused. Victoria and Sara deserved better, all these beautiful children who've been victims of these types of monsters, deserved better. 

After Peter's death various inquiries took place and various people were questioned or fired and the usual line of being told that improvements were going to be made so that it would never happen again but as I mentioned before, children are still being let down badly by the broken system in the UK. 

RIP Peter, Victoria & Sara, you will never be forgotten x

Further reading & Sources: 

- Baby P Case: Article | BBC News

- Baby P Case: Article | The Guardian

- Timeline of Baby P Case | BBC News

- Tracey Connelly: Article | BBC News

- Peter Connelly | Wikipedia

- The Story of Baby P | Book by Ray Jones

- Learning From Baby P | Book by Sharon Shoesmith

- Victoria Climbie | Wikipedia

- The Victoria Climbie Inquiry | Gov.UK

- Sara Sharif: Article | CPS 

Special shout out to Newspapers.com by Ancestry for giving access to their amazing catalogue of Newpapers both past and present. This has been invaluable to my research. Thank you! (be sure to check them out too)

Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post, I welcome your thoughts as always, either below in the comments or in confidence at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com 

I hope you will join me in the next post, in the meantime I hope to see you elsewhere on my socials

Stay safe & take care x

I'm sure I'm not the only one who was horrified at the horrendous and sheer evil murder of Debrina Kawam in New York on a subway train, just days before Christmas 2024 (22nd of December). At the time Debrina was known as 'The Woman Who Was Burned To Death On The Subway' and it was utterly heartbreaking, unbelievable and it took investigators some time to identify her badly burned remains. It was a horrible situation like something out of the worst horror movie. 

Like a lot of shocked members of the public, I watched the news reports and read the newspaper articles and I couldn't believe the details that were emerging. Debrina, who had fallen on some hard times, was simply on a New York Subway train, she had been homeless after experiencing a difficult period of her life and was on the train around 7:25 am and had fallen asleep. She was just a 57 year old woman, who was homeless, minding her own business and had her belongings beside her. 

As Debrina was asleep, a 33 year old man named Sebastian Zapeta-Calil just randomly walked past her and set fire to her clothing before casually walking off of the train, sitting down on the platform and watching Debrina as she literally (and I'm sorry to say this but this is the facts of the case) burned alive. The monster just sat there. Witnesses said that he did try to 'fan the flames' at one point but his heartless demeanour was there for all to see and captured on CCTV cameras. 

Who could do such an evil thing and why? Debrina and Sebastian were not known to each other, they never even spoke to each other, and even if he did know her or an argument had taken place etc, this horrific and cruel murder should never have happened. 

I never knew Debrina personally but my heart broke for her and when I see her yearbook picture, it still does. The picture I have included of Debrina was her yearbook photograph from high school and when I first saw her picture, I couldn't believe how beautiful she was, like a movie star or a model. This beautiful girl in 1985 with the amazing smile and her whole life ahead of her was so full of promise and the possibilities were endless. She was very talented and popular, former school friends remember her as having time for everyone and always loved a good laugh and a party. She was quoted in the yearbook as saying that her secret ambition was to ''Party Forever''. 

Debrina was involved in a lot of social activities and events in high school, she was known for her ''million dollar smile'' and participation in cheerleading. She was very intelligent and went on to university to study business and marketing but somewhere along the line things just fell off. In the early 1990s, Debrina had been caught working as a sex worker to make ends meet after she fell into a huge amount of debt. She loved her family but from what is known there wasn't a very close relationship with them and a lot of Debrina's circumstances from that time are difficult to track. All we know is that she continued to face a lot difficulties during the 1990's and that continued right up until her heartbreaking death. 

There had been relationships in the past and moments where it looked like she had turned a corner but sadly they didn't last and she fell back on difficult times and an addiction to alcohol would take over. More heartache was to follow when her father passed away. Debrina adored her father but they didn't always communicate and when he passed away she had written online how she loved her father and didn't realise how lucky she had been to have had him in her life until it was too late. Her relationship with her mother wasn't very close but she would still turn to her for help. Not long before Debrina's death, her mother had moved away and for some unknown reason, failed to tell Debrina that she was moving. A neighbour of her mother's recalled later that she used to see both Debrina and her mother out and about from time to time and the relationship between the pair appeared to be quite strained. The neighbour also said that she thought Debrina appeared to have some sort of disability and needed the aid of a walker. 

Debrina had only recently shown up on her mother's doorstep only to find that another woman answered the door and told her that her mother no longer lived at that address, Debrina appeared to be shocked. When the lady offered to take a note of Debrina's phone number just incase her mother did show up again, Debrina simply replied that she didn't own a phone and she just left. 

There is some record of Debrina staying at a homeless shelter in the city for a short period of time before sleeping rough in the Subway. It seems that Debrina had been up and down with difficulties in the 1990s but when her father passed away things took even more of a nosedive and she ended up spending a lot of time homeless. She was a very vulnerable person and many people mentioned they were used to seeing her around the subway. Obviously when she was younger, these difficulties didn't appear to be there but as she got older she had a lot of physical as well as psychological struggles and one wonders if this was due to her addictions and life on the streets. Whatever the case is, it is just truly heartbreaking and her story has really touched me and I just felt that I wanted to share her story, a bit more of her background. I don't feel that it's right that a lot of people just know her for the horrific way that she was murdered. 

Looking again at Debrina's yearbook picture, you see so much light in her glowing smile and positivity of what the future was to hold and then you think of the difficult years that she ended up struggling through and her horrific death. 

Her heartless killer was an illegal immigrant who claims to have been drunk or that he couldn't remember carrying out the evil crime. His face is just soulless, not a shred of remorse or emotion. He's pleaded not guilty despite witnesses and CCTV footage showing every step and action he took. 

Opinions on this case have been divided and some people are uncaring due to the fact that Debrina was homeless and had been in trouble with the law and alcoholism in the past but that should not matter, nobody has the right to walk up to a complete stranger on a public mode of transport and take their lives, whether it be with setting someone on fire, a gun or a knife, nobody has the right to do that. 

As I have been writing this post, arguments are continuing to take place on X about various countries facing a lot of serious problems due to illegal immigration. As we begin 2025, we have already begun to see divides and heated discussions on various issues, one wonders if a compromise or peace can ever be found but one thing is for sure, we have to look out for each other and I just wish that more people could have stepped in to help Debrina. There's rumours that people were stood around filming the whole horrific scene that terrible morning, instead of jumping in and helping. We are living in a world where that is becoming more and more commonplace, people picking up their phones to record crimes but not getting involved. In many ways that is understandable, cause you could put your own life at risk but if you see someone in sheer pain or on fire, at least try something, not just stand there and film it and quite frankly, why would you record that? Anyway, that is just my thoughts on the situation. I would love to read/hear yours. 

Sebastian Zapeta-Calil will be back in court at the end of March and faces life imprisonment. At his recent court appearance in Brooklyn, New York, he needed an interpreter because he could barely speak a word of English (or he pretended not to be able to speak English) and claims to be not guilty. I will update this post if any more news comes up. 

One wonders what it must be like also for Debrina's former high school friends as I can probably imagine with how hectic Debrina's life was, she probably lost contact with a lot of her school friends. I'm sure we've all had those friends or people we knew in high school and wondered whatever became of them, imagine turning on the news to see this type of horrifying story, it must be a terrible shock for them. 

Debrina's nickname at school was 'Deb' or 'Debbie' and as heartbreaking as this case is, I do hope that her school friends remember her how she was back then, full of fun and excitement for the future and not what happened later because there was so much more to the beautiful and intelligent person who just somehow lost their way in life and ended up having her life taken in the most evil way. 

I wish I had a magic wand, not just in this case but in all the cases I've covered. I wish we could go back so that Debrina would be in a better place and not on that train on the 22nd of December but that is just wishful thinking. 

RIP Debrina, you will never be forgotten and to many, many strangers like me, you are not just the woman who was murdered on the subway, you are so much more and will be remembered for the light that you did bring into the world in the good times and your glowing smile. I hope you are at peace. 

Further Reading & Sources:

- Subway Murder Case: Article | CBS News

- Subway Murder Case: Article | Times of India

- Subway Murder Case: Article | The New York Times

- Subway Murder Case: Article | CBS News

- Subway Murder Case: Article | The Free Press

- Debrina Kawam: Article | BBC News

- Debrina Kawam: Reddit Discussion Thread

- Debrina Kawam: Article | NBC News

- New York City Subway | Wikipedia

As always if you have made it to the end of this post, I appreciate your time in reading it and I always welcome everyone's thoughts and opinions, you may have known Debrina personally or just want to share your views, whatever you would like to say, please do so below in the comments section or email me in confidence (I never share anyone's messages or emails) at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com 

I hope you will join me in my next post, please take care of yourselves x 

I have written about Ted Bundy a few times on this blog which may come as no surprise if you are a regular reader. I don't think there is anyone in the true crime community who hasn't written about him. Whenever we think about Serial Killers, the likes of Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer are maybe two of the first infamous murderers that we think of when quickly put on the spot. 

[Check out my previous two posts about Bundy for the full background on his crimes: The Many Faces of Ted Bundy and 10 Facts You May Not Know About Ted Bundy] 

One of the many things that was disturbing with Ted Bundy was his way with words, he could be as charming as charming could be one minute but then switch to this cold, unfeeling and sinister character the next. He certainly knew how to play people and get them under his control to some extent and that wasn't just with women, he was able to manipulate men too. 

Listed below are some of Ted Bundy's quotes, straight from the horses mouth or so the saying goes. It makes for some chilling reading so please be aware.... 

''I am the most cold-hearted son of a bitch you will ever meet.''

''I don't think anybody doubts whether I've done some bad things. The question is what, of course and how and, maybe even most importantly why?''

''When you feel the last bit of breath leaving their body, you're looking into their eyes. A person in that situation is God''

''We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of your children dead tomorrow.''

''I didn't want to hurt them, but I had no other choice.''

''I am not a monster, I am just misunderstood.''

''I am not the person everyone thinks I am, I am something more''

''I don't feel guilty for anything. I feel sorry for people who feel guilt.''

''I didn't know her name, she was just a faceless victim to me.'' 

''I am not an animal, I'm not crazy, I just wanted to kill.'' 

Further Reading & Sources:

Thank you for checking out my latest post and I hope you will join me for the next one. Please stay safe and take care x