INTERVIEW EXCLUSIVE: How I Survived In One of Britain's Toughest Prisons: Part Two

 

Thank you to all those who took the time to check out part one of this interview, I really appreciate it. In this post we continue with part two. I hope you find it just as interesting as the first instalment...

You must get this question quite a lot but did you meet any infamous serial killers or anyone of public knowledge in there?

There was quite a few people who'd been in the newspapers for this or that but I think the worst person that I had knowledge of (but I didn't know who he was at first because he changed his appearance) was a disgraced teacher who I worked alongside in the library. I didn't know who this guy was but he was quite talkative, it was only later on that I found out that this guy had murdered his wife, dismembered her and dumped her remains in a suitcase before going on holiday with his lover. 

Did that anger you somewhat? Having to be in there with people like that man when you were not a killer?

It made me feel sick that someone could do that to anyone, let alone their wife. I was angry with the system and with myself for me being there. I was angry because I made a mistake out of desperation, I'd tried every avenue to make money and asked for help as well as trying to find a job but like I said, they make it hard for you in the UK. I sank into a deep depression and not making excuses, I didn't know what I was doing. I would never harm anyone, my stupid plan was to use the knife as a prop to wave around and get some money. My stupid plan backfired and I ended up in a horrible place with murderers and sex offenders. Do I think I should have been punished for what I did? Yes but I shouldn't have been sent to prison. Having been arrested, questioned and putting my wife and family through worry was enough punishment for me to know that it wasn't the road that I wanted to go down. I still have remorse for what I did to this day. Even though nobody was touched or harmed by me, just the mere thought of scaring people and my actions that night is something that I'm deeply ashamed of. 

Did you ever find yourself the victim of bullying or harassment whilst in prison? 

Because I'm a big guy and I was big then, I also changed my appearance, shaved my head and wore prison issue clothes so I looked like bad news, together with the incidences with me beating up nonces, I didn't have anyone trying to start any s**t with me. Not to say that people didn't try. People would put paperclips with the jagged edges in your food. I had a cup of tea once that had staples in the bottom of the cup, luckily I noticed that pretty quickly. 

You've talked a bit about this before but what was the food like?

Awful, like eating cardboard, either overcooked or undercooked. I lived on cheap cornflakes with water because I couldn't stand the carnation milk. You did have chocolate bars and that helped. Whenever my missus visited she would buy me a bundle of chocolate bars to take back to my cell. Some of the chocolate I would eat and the others would be traded or sold to other prisoners. It's how you did things in there, everybody knew someone so if you wanted cigarettes or crisps, you'd swap something for them. That's how you got by. 

On the whole, how do you think you were able to survive in there, especially as it was your first time in prison?

I think it was due to my size and me beating up nonces from early on in the sentence. People learned quickly that I was not to be f**cked with. You have to do that in there otherwise people take the pi** and you become their victim. I acted like I'd been in prison before, I lied about what I was in there for. Whenever anyone asked I would say it was none of their business and they didn't push me on it. I think because of my size they thought I must have been involved in some sort of gangland thing. Compared to what others had done, my crime looked pretty pathetic and wouldn't have done my image any good. In there I was all about survival and getting through the sentence. There was violence every day, deaths every week, stabbings, incidences where boiling water from kettles would be thrown at people. You had to have your wits about you and eyes on the back of your head. 

How long have you been out of prison?

I have been out for 10 years now. I served half my sentence and was released on licence and put on a tag and curfew. 

Have you been in any trouble since? Would you say that your time in prison changed your life?

I haven't been in any trouble since. That experience was like a sharp shock and it was horrible. It did change my life for good and bad reasons. Having a criminal record affected jobs so I still struggled financially when I was out of jail and that's why a lot of people end up going back in because they make it hard for you to start your life again out here. Luckily, I had support out here and an amazing wife. It's actually taken me/us years to get to where we are now. 

How is your life now? Have things gotten better?

My life has changed so much and for the better. I'm still with my wife and we are stronger than ever. We are in a better position financially and went into business for ourselves (legit business). It's a strange feeling to go from searching for coins down the back of the sofa to ending up in prison, to where I am today. It's took a long time to get here and a lot of struggle and that is why I always say to never give up. I just wish that I had known this years ago but at the time all I could see was a black cloud and no way of getting out of our financial problems. 

Having had family members in prison myself, I know how easily it is to end up in there. Do you have anything you want to say about people who make judgements about people who've made similar mistakes to you?

In the UK life can be hard esp with the Tories in power. If you're working class you're kinda f*cked from the get-go, you have to work your a** off to get out of the gutter. The trouble is, is that things were hard back then 10 years ago but they are even worse now. We have people in full time jobs having to use food banks. We have children in this country going hungry and homeless but we can afford to house and feed refugees. I'm all for helping people but we need to have a look at what's going on in the UK and then maybe think about helping everyone else. My worry is that more people are going to turn to crime in this country with this recession. As for judging people, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. When bills pile up at the door, food is scarce and you're on the verge of eviction with no help from anyone, you can end up in a desperate situation and end up doing something you'd never thought you would do. Not everyone in prison is a murderer, there's people in there for stupid reasons, for not paying bills or stealing food to feed their families. There's something terribly wrong in this country when we imprison people who are just trying to get by and making a mistake but slapping nonces on the back of the wrist and letting them stay out there on the streets. It's f**ked up. 

Any thoughts about the future?

Continuing to build on our dreams and keep going. Starting a family and continuing to enjoy life. I'm very grateful for what I have. 

Thank you so much for this interview, it was incredible and so honest. I appreciate it and you for taking the time to answer my questions. I'm so glad and find it an inspirational story that you have journeyed through all of that to being in this happier place today. It just goes to show that difficult times can have a positive ending. 


I hope you enjoyed this 2 part interview and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year! Here's to 2023, may it bring you all that you wish and hope for. 

[Thank you for checking out part two of this interview. If you would like to take part in an interview with me (must be true crime related) in a future post, please get in contact at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com - I keep everything in confidence, no names or private details are shared publicly. If you enjoy my weekly posts, please consider donating at: My PayPal. I hope to see you on my Socials too] 

Take care x 

INTERVIEW EXCLUSIVE: How I Survived In One of Britain's Toughest Prisons: Part One

 

For the first time ever on my true crime blog, I'm bringing you a fascinating and explosive interview (in two parts) with a man who's been kind enough to share with me the real story and experience of what it's like to be locked up in one of Britain's toughest prisons. 

No question was off the table and he never held anything back for which I'm totally grateful as it gives us a real insight to life behind bars. Part of the deal to get this exclusive interview involved me keeping some names, locations and dates confidential but everything else is 100% for real.

I thoroughly enjoyed this interview and it was a real eye-opener and a real peek behind the scenes. I hope you too, find it as fascinating as I have. I hope to do more interviews in 2023 so watch this space. 

So let's get to it....

We'll begin by going back briefly to your background story, how you ended up in prison, was it your first time there and what was the crime that you were incarcerated for?

I grew up on a council estate and my family never had much money. I started working at an early age but never made enough money to really be comfortable. I left home as a teenager and did some odd jobs here and there but I was always treated like s**t in those jobs no matter how hard I worked. I'm quite an intelligent guy and I did attend college and university but because of financial reasons, I had to drop out. In the UK you're set up to fail if you're working class. Long story short, I managed to get a place with my wife but money was tight and a friend of mine was in the same situation so we came up with a plan to go into business together, when that didn't work out & we were on the verge of eviction, I attempted to rob a shop. I never harmed anyone and that wasn't my plan anyway, I just wanted to get some money to get us out of the hole that we were in. Yes, it was my first time in prison.

How long were you in prison for?

Because I had a knife & had stolen some items, I was given 5 years but served half of that. 

What was your cell like? Did you have to share with someone?

I spent half the time having to share with a cell mate and the other half on my own. The prison that I was in was a dump. It was freezing cold, you had two buckets, one for cleaning and the other for a toilet. For hot water you could buy a flask of water from the canteen. There were different wings in the prison, some were nicer than others, we were in the sh**est part of the prison even though we were in for petty crime. The nonces (sex offenders) and some of the lifers had better conditions (flushing toilets, warmer cells etc). Whenever prison inspections took place they would take officials to the better part of the prison to make it look like all prisoners were being treated fair in decent conditions. 

What was the process/procedure from courthouse to prison cell?

I committed my crime in the October and was arrested that same night. When I was finally allowed home I knew that I would be sent down for it (they put you away for anything in the UK except it seems that nonces get away with far too much). It wasn't until March when I had to finally appear at court, I'd seen people before me who were career criminals and had done far worse crimes and had been sent home so I thought that all I would get was a slap on the back of the wrist and a fine. I'd made a terrible mistake, a one-off mistake which I was never going to make again and I expressed this wholeheartedly. They didn't care, the Judge threw the book at me and gave me 5 years, they called it 'Armed Robbery'. I was handcuffed and taken to a police van, they don't tell you where you're going. The drive to the prison seemed to take forever. When I arrived I had to be searched and I mean....searched! I was strip searched, finger prints scanned and details taken along with mug shot. I was then placed in an isolation cell for 24 hours (they do this incase you're suicidal). The next day I was taken to my wing and it is like it's shown in the movies. Everyone, including the screws (guards) are sizing you up. I was given a breakfast pack which contained a small box of cheap cereal & a carton of carnation milk. I was wearing prison issue clothes and was under the impression that they would be giving me my bag (I took a small bag of clothes and toiletries to the court with me just incase) but they never did. 

How did you feel when the sentence was announced in court?

People have asked me this before and in all honesty, I just remember being so angry with myself. I was angry about what I had done, that I had gotten myself into that position. I was in a state of shock but soon went into survival mode. It was important not to show any sign of weakness because the screws and other prisoners would pick up on that straight away. 

What was a typical day like in prison?

They'd wake you up early in the morning and you'd have your breakfast, either having the crap breakfast pack (cheap cereal with carnation milk) or something from the canteen if you could afford it. A lot of us were encouraged to do jobs in the prison to pass time and to make a bit of money so that we could pay for phonecalls and food from the canteen. I started working in the prison chapel organising bibles and cleaning. I also took a second job in the library but that didn't last because of an incident. At night they'd turn all the lights off but it was hard getting to sleep at times, it was freezing, the blanket that I had was that itchy material. The screws would also plays head games shining torches into the cells and banging on the doors and rails at all hours of the night and morning. 

What was the incident in the library?

A nonce (paedophile) came in looking for a book on children's anatomy so I shoved his head into some metal bars. He survived but had to be taken to hospital and I got removed from the library job and had my prison visits cancelled for a week. 

What was the reaction from others in the prison?

It actually made me popular with the other guys and the screws. Some of the screws inside have 'arrangements' with some of the prisoners.

What do you mean 'arrangements'? 

If you do certain favours for them, they will do favours for you. Some will turn a blind eye to certain things like mobile phones. For me, I'm a big guy so I wanted food from the canteen. The screw had an arrangement with one of the prisoners who worked in the kitchen so if a screw wanted a nonce sorted out or frightened, they'd tell me, I'd scare the nonce and I would get extra food and phone privileges. It happens all the time, that's why you saw all of those prison videos on TikTok, the screws are allowing certain prisoners to have phones etc. 

I suppose you must have seen regular fights in there too? 

All the time, almost daily! A lot of 'suicides' too. It got to the point where you were so used to seeing the screws bring out bodies.  They would wheel one right past you and you wouldn't even bat an eyelid. A lot of shady s**t went on but you kept your head down and mouth shut. 


Continued in part two


[Thank you for checking out part one of this interview. If you have any questions you would like me to ask in a future post or you would like to take part in an interview with me (must be true crime related) please get in contact at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com - I keep everything in confidence, no names or private details are shared publicly. If you enjoy my weekly posts, please consider donating at: My PayPal, I hope to see you on my Socials too x]

''Confess.....or we'll send you to the Gas Chamber'' | 20 Years In Prison For A Crime He Didn't Commit

 (Angie Dodge. Picture credit: East Idaho News)

As you can see from the title of this post, I have been focusing on another miscarriage of justice case. You may remember me covering the terrible story of Michael Newton who lost 25 years of life for a crime he didn't commit (Michael had been sent to prison for the wrongful conviction of murdering his wife when the cops and the Judge knew he was an innocent man). You'll recognise a few similarities in this case which I'm just about to share with you.

The public have always had a love/hate relationship with the police and over the past few years we've seen quite a lot of bad press about the cops and how they carry out investigations. We've also seen how many in the police force have used their positions to prey on innocent people (using the horrendous story of the kidnap and murder of Sarah Everard as an example). Now don't get me wrong, I know there are some good cops out there but we have to be honest and recognise that there are a lot of bad ones too.

We know that in high profile murder cases where there has been a lot of media attention and murders that have happened in small towns, that there is often a lot of pressure on the police to find the perpetrator (or perpetrators) as soon as possible. The victim's family and friends want justice and to ensure that this never happens again. We've seen a lot of cases where cops have worked tirelessly to bring a killer to justice and put some very evil people behind bars but we've also seen cases where innocent men have been sent to prison. 

It's shocking to know that we have learned of cases over the years where innocent people have spend decades behind bars for crimes that they didn't commit. It's also shocking to learn about some of the terrible tricks and lies from people that we expect to uphold the law. From an early age we are told that the police are there to protect us, to keep the bad guys locked up, but sometimes, to our horror, we find out that it's sometimes the police that are the bad guys. 

Before I begin, I have to say (as I always do) to please be aware that some of the content shared in this post will be disturbing. I always try my best to be as sensitive as possible with the details without shying away from the facts of the case. My aim in this post is to bring Angie's story to you, what happened to her should never be forgotten and also the terrible miscarriage of justice that saw an innocent man lose years of his life and the incredible woman who stopped at nothing to see justice done for her daughter and to help free an innocent man. 

Nobody in Idaho Falls (USA) could ever forget the sickening murder of beautiful, 18 year old Angie Dodge in 1996. The poor girl was found dead in her new apartment in what investigators described as a bloodbath.  Some monster had attacked this young girl, sexually assaulted her and stabbed her over and over again, almost decapitating her. It was a horrendous scene. 

The police had learned of Angie's death though her work colleagues. Angie was a girly girl and loved all things make-up and glamour, she loved her job at the cosmetics store and would never miss a day of work unless it was something very important. Her work colleagues were also her close friends and everyone had a soft spot for Angie, she was adorable, fun to be around and had a heart of gold. When she didn't show up for work one day her colleagues thought they'd pop in to visit her at her new apartment to check everything was ok. 

Naturally they were expecting to find Angie at home but what they were to find was something that none of them could have ever imagined in their worst nightmares. They saw Angie deceased on her bedroom floor, next to her mattress, blood all over the place, it had been a savage and brutal attack. 

When authorities arrived they were briefed beforehand that the crime scene would be hard to take and even cops who'd been in the force for decades had struggled with what they were to eventually see. The murder of Angie Dodge shook the local community to it's core and everyone was devastated. Who would hurt a total sweetheart like Angie? She was a lovely girl and had time for everyone, she was also great with kids. 

This was a young woman who'd just moved into her new apartment just weeks before and she had everything going for her. The reason she had moved into the apartment was because she wanted her own space and there had been some tensions with her Mother. Angie was very independent and headstrong, like a lot of 18 year olds, she wanted the excitement of having her own place. Shortly before Angie's death she had patched things up with her Mother which was a blessing but the way that Carol Dodge was to find out about her daughter's death was very harsh and inappropriate. 

Angie was the baby of the family and had 3 older siblings. Carol wanted to do something special as her older brother was going to be visiting so she thought she'd make a quick phonecall to the cosmetics store and ask Angie if she fancied coming along to a little dinner with the family. Carol was transferred to the HR department and informed that Angie had not attended work because she had been found murdered and advised her to contact the police. It's hard to imagine what was going through Carol's mind at this moment, what a horrible and devastating thing to hear, not only that your daughter has been murdered but to hear it from people who simply worked with Angie. Angie's family should have been informed way sooner. Obviously because her work colleagues had found her, you can imagine the horrible news must have spread like wildfire but still, the HR department should have just said for Carol to contact the police and let investigators break it to her gently in a more sympathetic manner. 

Nobody knew who was responsible for Angie's murder but everyone was equally sickened and wanted this evil monster caught as soon as possible, there was widespread fear that he could strike again. The cops knew that the perpetrator was male because of the fair amount of DNA that had been found at the scene. They deciphered from the evidence that there had only been one man at the scene and found semen and hair. 

The investigation began with questioning and DNA testing over 100 men in the local area but none of the men tested had matched the samples found in Angie's apartment. The police were at a loss and had no idea who could have possibly committed this horrendous murder and Angie was just a genuinely sweet girl with no skeletons in the closet, there was nobody with an axe to grind with her so they focused on a local group of people who were nicknamed ''The River Rats''. The group would hang out in areas that were close to Angie's apartment and one of the guys, Ben Hobbs who had been a friend of Angie, just happened to be arrested for another horrible crime where he had held a woman at knifepoint and sexually assaulted her. 

With no DNA matches and nothing happening, the police became desperate and the local community were getting fed up, not to mention, Angie's Mother who was constantly demanding to know what was happening with the investigation especially as they had so much DNA evidence. 

The police decided that they would zoom in on Ben Hobbs because they were desperate to make it look as if they were doing something with the investigation and the fact that Ben was an unsavoury character anyway. One of the group, a young man by the name of Christopher Tapp was brought in for questioning and because the cops were getting nowhere with Ben, they decided it was time to play a few head games. 

Originally both boys said that they not seen Angie on the night of her death and had no idea what could have possibly happened but the police didn't want to leave it there. They told Christopher a pack of lies that Ben had tried to say he was involved in Angie's death, Christopher, being young, naive, unsure of what to do decided to make up a story about Ben being involved in Angie's death in an effort to get himself off the hook (even though he was innocent) and to keep the cops happy. The cops toyed with both the boys and suspicion soon moved from Ben to Christopher. There had been a lot of back and forth in the interviews and Christopher had been dragged in five times and each time he told a different story which didn't help matters. 

A lot of the time a lawyer wasn't present during these interviews and on the one occasion the lawyer was there, he was useless and just sat and watched as the cops continued to manipulate Christopher by trying to put words in his mouth. At one point (amongst other threats) the cops told Christopher ''Confess...or we'll send you to the Gas Chamber''

Both Ben and Christopher had taken lie detector tests and both were found to be telling the truth. By the time it was all said and done, Christopher had actually passed 7 polygraph tests in total on different occasions and no shred of guilt was found. The DNA at the scene didn't even match the boys. It was a complete and utter waste of time with both of them being innocent but the cops couldn't let it go.

Investigators had decided that because Christopher had changed his story so many times (not taking into consideration the amount of threats put to him and the psychological torture and mind games he endured) that he must be guilty and somehow managed to find a way to fool the polygraph machine. 

They wanted someone to pin the 'the murder on, the public and Carol were getting fed up waiting for them to do something. So, knowing fine well that Christopher Tapp was 100% innocent, they threw the book at him and made him go down for it himself. 

So a farce of a trial happened and they did what they could to try and paint Christopher in a bad light, a lot of things were hidden from the jury and they even found a fake witness who'd agreed beforehand to lie in court in exchange for getting off of drugs charges. This woman was coached to tell a pack of lies that she heard Christopher and Ben talking about killing Angie. 

In a shocking conclusion to the trial, Christopher Tapp was found guilty of the murder and rape of Angie Dodge. The jury came to the conclusion that because Christopher had changed his story so many times, that it had been a sign of guilt instead of what it really was, a young, terrified boy in over his head being bullied by the police to say what they wanted him to say. 

Christopher was found guilty and sentenced to life imprisonment (with a minimum of 10 years for rape and 30 years for murder) on the 28th of May 1998, he was just 20 years old. 

To Carol, the family and friends (as well as the wider community) of Angie, justice had been served, they got the monster who killed their beautiful Angie and now he was behind bars and couldn't hurt anybody else. As time went on and Christopher began to appeal his sentence and speak up about what had happened with the police, Carol began to feel that something just wasn't right. 

Carol contacted Christopher's lawyer and asked to see the interrogation tapes. Carol sat through everything that was said and was left horrified with an enormous amount of questions. She realised that they had thrown an innocent man in prison and she wanted to do something about it as well as find the real monster who killed her daughter. the real killer was still out there.

Getting Christopher out of prison wasn't going to be easy, the cops were not going to throw their hands up and admit to what they had done, there was jobs at risk, reputations at stake! Instead, any concerns or attempts at another look at things, were simply ignored but Carol was not going to give up. Years passed but she just kept on going and Christopher did what he could from his prison cell. 

After years of Christopher being behind bars, Carol joined forces with the Idaho Innocence Project and they worked together to try and persuade a judge to look over DNA evidence again but this was refused. 

(Angie Dodge with her parents: Picture credit: Good Morning America)

In 2017 after years of pushing for Christopher to be released as there was public outcry, Christopher was finally able to leave prison. Carol was waiting for him and held his hand when he walked out. The pair became very close and Christopher was and is forever thankful to Carol as well as the Idaho Innocence Project and supporters from around the world who believed in him.

Christopher was free but there was still work to be done, the real killer was still out there and had been free for over 2 decades. 

In 2019, a DNA breakthrough came about after a man called Brian Leigh Dripps Sr had matched the samples taken at the crime scene. Disturbingly enough this guy lived on the same street as Angie but he managed to avoid having the DNA tests done back in 1996. He confessed and told investigators that he didn't know what he was doing that night, that he had been high on drugs. Shortly after Angie's death he moved away from the area. If the police had done their jobs properly instead of focusing on two innocent boys then this man would have been caught earlier. He was right under their noses and you'd think they'd make sure that everyone in the neighbourhood had been tested and noticed that he just happened to conveniently move away just after the murder. 

He was found guilty by the court, obviously and sentenced to life in prison. 

Carol was there again to support Christopher at his vindication hearing and even though it was a heartbreaking story of a young woman who had lost her life and a young man who had lost his youth, a beautiful friendship blossomed between Carol and Christopher. Christopher was amazing, as is Carol and they seemed to give each other strength over all of those difficult years. 

(Christopher Tapp and Carol Dodge. Picture credit: BBC)

In a little bit of justice for Christopher, he was awarded 11.7 million pounds in damages because of everything that had happened to him. He lost his youth and was painted as a murderer and rapist when he was just a young boy who did nothing. 

This case is another frightening example of how lies, manipulation, coercion and desperation to find a culprit can ruin an innocent person's life. Who knows where Christopher would be right now if Carol had not pushed as much as she had. I'll tell you where he would be....still behind bars whilst Brian Dripps Sr was still out living his life. 

(Brian Dripps. Picture credit: Idaho Press

I hope Christopher is sipping cocktails right now on some paradise island. I hope that Carol and her family are doing well too. They've all been through so much. I also think of the friends/work colleagues who found Angie that day, I hope wherever they are that life has been kind to them, one can't imagine having seen such a traumatic thing. 

(Christopher Tapp. Picture credit: ABC News

And of course, Angie who should still be with us. It's heartbreaking to know that such a popular, sweet and kind girl who had so much going for her was to have her life taken in such a sick and barbaric way. It's anger inducing to know that the real murderer was living on her street and had managed to escape justice for so long whilst an innocent man was having years wasted in prison. I suppose all we can say now is that justice was finally done but it took a very long time to come and no matter the amount of money that Christopher was awarded through damages, it cannot bring Angie back or change the amount of time that was lost in Christopher's life, he essentially lost a big part of his youth. 

(Angie Dodge. Picture credit: ABC7 Los Angeles)


Further Reading & Sources: 

Christopher Trapp | Article: New York Times

Brian Dripps | Article: East Idaho News

Carol Dodge | Article: ABC7 News

Christopher Tapp | Innocence Project

Carol Dodge | Article: BBC News

Angie Dodge | Article: CBS News

Christopher Tapp | Article: CBS News

Angie Dodge | Article: NBC News

Murder of Angie Dodge | Wikipedia

Angie Dodge | Article: Washington Post

Brian Dripps | Article: East Idaho News


RIP Angie x


I just want to take this moment to say thank you for getting through this post with me, it was quite a hard case to take. Brian Dripps was responsible for wrecking so many lives and causing so much heartache. To me, it seems like he's had it easy. He's been out there free for all those years and been able to experience life and now he's of a certain age and finally gets his karma. It just doesn't seem fair and the investigation was a farce along with the trial. Like I mentioned before, no amount of money can ever put any of this right. it should never have happened. 


I hope you will join me in my next case and It would be nice to see you on my socials too. 


Please take care of yourselves x 

He Sexually Tortured His Partner To Death....Now He's Walking The Streets Free! | John Broadhurst

 
(John Broadhurst: Picture credit: Mirror)

This post is going to be a tough one to get through, I may as well warn you from the get-go. This case is very difficult to take and one that shocked as well as horrified and outraged the people of the UK when the story was splashed across the newspapers. The horrific story of a millionaire who'd tortured his young girlfriend and left her to die in a pool of her own blood, it was the stuff of nightmares. What added to the horror and anger was the ridiculous sentence that was handed out to this sick, depraved individual. When we talk about privilege and the status and benefits that money can afford you (especially when it comes to getting away with crimes) this is what we mean. 

2016 doesn't seem that long ago and to be honest, it isn't. Maybe I'm just used to writing about cases that happened a decade or two ago but this feels recent. I can imagine for the loved ones of Natalie Connolly, the beautiful young woman who died at the hands of John Broadhurst, 2016 feels like it was just yesterday. This horrible case happened in 2016 but it still stirs up anger to this day, as it always will and with good reason. 

I'm going to be sharing some very disturbing details in this post and I will try my best to be as sensitive about the circumstances and to also be as respectful to the victim as much as possible. 

Natalie Connolly was a beautiful girl with a shock of long black hair and blue eyes, that stunning combination with a lovely figure and beautiful smile that caught many an eye when she walked in the room. She was a twin who's sister shared her beauty and they were both so very close. Natalie was a laugh a minute kind of girl, fun to be around and could make friends easily with anyone. She was a single mother and always did her best to make sure her daughter, Madison had everything she needed. She was a very hands on mum and she doted on her little girl and Madison idolised her mother. 

(Natalie Connolly. Picture credit: The Guardian)

Times could be hard as a young single mother in her mid twenties but that didn't stop Natalie from dreaming and always striving for the best in life. She knew how to let her hair down but she wasn't a big drinker, she just loved to go out with her friends, have a laugh and a good dance. 

It was in a pub that she bumped into a handsome, well dressed man by the name of John. There was an instant attraction between the pair. John was in his late 30s but he had a charm about him and they seemed to have a good laugh together, they seemed to just click and it wasn't long before phone numbers were exchanged and they started seeing more of each other. 

Natalie was attracted to John from the moment she saw him in the pub and had no idea of what his background was or what he did for a living but the more she got to know him he revealed that he was actually a multi-millionaire and that was soon evident when he splashed out on beautiful, expensive gifts for her. Fancy restaurants were a regular thing and his beautiful big house was like something out of a movie. Natalie was completely bowled over by him and his gentlemanly ways. 

The trouble was, John wasn't the lovely gentleman that he painted himself out to be. John had skeletons in the closet and it soon became apparent that John had three children of his own, which was fine but he was actually in a relationship with his pregnant fiancee who was expecting their second child together. It's difficult to know what Natalie was thinking and I'm not going to assume or suggest anything but she was aware of the situation and the fact is, John and Natalie were having an affair until he finally walked out on his fiancee to be with Natalie full time. 

I'm not going to judge the situation, I'm just telling you the facts of the case and you are free to make up your own mind about events that took place. It was inevitable that Natalie was going to have some anxiety about this relationship because here was a man who had proven that he was the type who could get bored very easily, the type of man who could cast you to the side at a moments notice if he got fed up with you and even scarier, it didn't matter if you were pregnant with his child, he could still walk out on you for someone else. Not a great way to start any relationship but things grew very quickly between Natalie and John. Within weeks she had moved into his house. Who could blame her in all reality? To go from struggling to make ends meet, to the chance to live in this beautiful big house and have this luxury lifestyle, I'm sure a lot of us would but under very different circumstances (ie, with a man we knew we could 100% trust).

John got on great with Madison and his kids took to Natalie and Madison too, it all seemed to just fit into place for the couple and everyone always commented on how happy they looked together, it was all like a fairytale. John arranged for Natalie to be pampered at beauty salons, had his personal driver take her to and from appointments and gave her a credit card with an allowance so that she could buy whatever she wanted. It all sounded like a dream.....but there was a catch...A BIG ONE!

John and Natalie hardly knew each other when she moved in, it was a relationship very much based on lust. They'd had conversations and shared some intimate details of their lives over dinner but it's a different story when you live with someone 24/7 as Natalie was to find out. 

John enjoyed rough sex, very rough sex, way beyond Fifty Shades of Grey type of thing. He liked to hurt women, he liked to leave cuts and bruises and Natalie was having a difficult time trying to cope with this. Suddenly the fancy lifestyle wasn't looking so much like a fairytale after all because the lovely restaurants and red roses came with a price. She gritted her teeth and tried to bare with it when he wanted to indulge in these hardcore sex sessions, she did what she could to please him because she was scared of him becoming bored and leaving her, just like he had done with his pregnant ex-fiancee. 

She didn't want to leave him and go back to the life she had before, she was happy in the relationship apart from this aspect of it. She shared her concerns with her sister and mother and showed them the bruises and cuts.  She explained that it was done during these hardcore, kinky sex sessions. She told them that John was a great lover in the bedroom but he could be very extreme at inflicting pain and she was struggling to deal with it. 

Natalie was stuck between a rock and a hard place with the relationship because she wanted to be with John and continue the lifestyle but she wasn't happy with the sexual side of things. It was clear things had moved too fast with the relationship because the pair had started to 'talk' to other people. Natalie began texting other men and John was contacting other women. Not the most ideal of situations. 

(Natalie Connolly. Picture credit: Grazia Daily)

For John, everything had to be his way or the high way and although he was doing his usual routine of treating women like crap, he had the audacity to be furious when he found out (unbeknown to Natalie) that she had been talking to other men via text messages. For John it was ok for him to do what he did but some one giving him a taste of his own medicine? not happening. 

He kept his mouth shut though and acted normal even suggesting that they go out for a few drinks on the 18th of December 2016 before seeing a football match & then dinner in the evening. He bought Natalie drinks and gave her cocaine which he also took himself, but to a smaller extent. He'd done similar before almost as if to 'loosen' her up a little before he took her home and carried out his sickening acts. One wonders if Natalie actually drank as much as she could on these occasions in an attempt to try and numb herself for what she knew she would have to deal with later when he got her home and into the bedroom. 

He always made sure that he was tipsy but not enough to lose control of his senses, after all, he wanted to be in complete control and able to fully enjoy what he was going to do to Natalie during these sex sessions. 

On this particular day though, there was a sinister and evil streak that was lurking within John Broadhurst and after the pair had enjoyed their day and finished their dinner at one of their favourite restaurants, John had his driver pick them up. 

It was clear that Natalie was heavily intoxicated, the meal had done nothing to sober her up or soak up some of the booze. When they arrived at the house and Natalie stumbled out of the car, she left her phone behind. A glass of water and straight to bed to sleep it off is what Natalie needed but John Broadhurst had other ideas. The driver came back with Natalie's phone and gave it to John, it's unclear if he'd had another look through Natalie's messages but what we do know is that he had very sick and evil intentions for Natalie that night. 

It seemed as well as humiliating women, leaving them when they were pregnant, cheating on them, hurting them, having violent sex and spying on them wasn't enough, John didn't seem to have any issue with women being highly intoxicated and pretty much out of it, he just carried on. 

Natalie was a mess, we know this because of the toxicology reports and autopsy that was performed later on. She was in no fit state to do a thing but there was a deep anger in John Broadhurst and he was going to do whatever he wanted and to hell with the consequences. He forced himself on Natalie and made sure that he caused as much pain and damage to her as possible. Now I'm going to share the horrible details of what was done and it is very upsetting so please keep that in mind.

As well as punching her and abusing her body, he put bleach in her face and forced a bottle of carpet cleaner (spray nozzle first) into her vagina before twisting it and ripping it out. After he was done with this sickening torture, he left Natalie lying in a pool of her own blood at the bottom of the stairs, he left her naked in a disrespectful manner with her skirt pulled up around her waist. He just left her there dying and simply went to bed. 

A few hours later he woke up and by this time, Natalie had passed away from her horrific injuries (40 horrific injuries). John called for an ambulance and put a bit of an act on but nothing that was really convincing. What really showed even more the sickening mind of this man was his utter disrespect towards Natalie. Without a tear in his eye or shake in his voice he told the dispatcher that he'd tried CPR but that Natalie was ''AS DEAD AS A DOUGHNUT''.

There's just no words to describe that kind of evil and from the moment that paramedics declared Natalie officially dead to the moment they put her body in the back of the ambulance, John just stood there without any shred of care, upset or feeling. 

He was of course arrested and instead of crying his eyes out, holding his hands up and confessing to what he did, he proceeded to tell a pack of lies about how it had all been rough sex that went a bit too far!

He claimed that Natalie wanted the whole thing, she asked for it all and he was just this innocent guy that followed her orders, she asked for him to hurt her, to punch her and begged him to force the carpet cleaner bottle into her vagina apparently and when he ripped it out with all the blood pouring out, he claimed that she said she was fine and that she wanted more of the same. It was ludicrous and just pure evil. 

He said they'd done this plenty of times and there was never any issues, he said that Natalie was into all kinds of rough sex. When asked about why he left her half naked at the bottom of the stairs, he said he did that plenty of times before and it had been fine, he said he never gave her any blankets because the house was warm enough. 

(John Broadhurst. Picture credit: The Mirror)

He never showed any remorse or expressed any guilt for what he had done, instead he tried to shift all the blame on to Natalie and to everyone's shock and horror, it worked! He was given the most pathetic sentence.... He pleaded guilty to manslaughter and was given 3 years and 8 months of which he served 22 months. 

You read that right.....John Broadhurst is a free man, probably sat in his livingroom right now with a cup of tea without a care in the world! Utter disgrace and what a joke of a legal system that we have and that's not the first time that I've said that. 

I wish I had some good news to say but I don't, he basically got away with it and with his money and everything, he's probably not even in England. It's also scary to think that he's probably still carrying out these horrible acts on women but probably being a bit more careful about it now? He should be in prison for the rest of his life! The mind goes crazy thinking about what the Judge must have been thinking when that joke of a sentence was handed down and to let him walk out of those prison gates so early too. 

I'd only heard about this case a few weeks ago and it stuck with me so I had to write about it. I think it sticks with anyone who hears about it, just so horrible and doesn't make any sense. 

I've been thinking about Natalie, Madison, her twin sister Gemma and her family this week, my heart goes out to them. I've also been thinking about John Broadhurst and what a monster he is. A chill goes down the spine to think that he's out there right now, he could be anywhere, no woman is safe from him. 

Further reading & Sources:

John Broadhurst | Article: Birmingham Mail

We Can't Consent To This | Website

John Broadhurst | Article: Independent

Natalie Connolly | Article: Mirror

-  Natalie Connolly | Article: Daily Mail

Natalie Connolly | Wikipedia

Natalie Connolly | Article: The Sun

Natalie Connolly | Article: Express & Star

RIP Natalie x

I've researched this case and gone over the details many times and it never gets easier. It sickens me as a stranger so I can't imagine what Natalie's family must feel. Natalie is not to blame for what happened, she was a young woman who fell for a guy who she thought could provide her and her daughter with a better life. She was in over her head with a dangerous and experienced man. Yes, she should have left but the lifestyle and his charming ways turned her head, there was no way she could have foreseen any of this. It was all a fairytale, how could it have ended up such a horrible and horrendous nightmare? We'll never know what was going through John Broadhurst's mind and to be honest, do we ever want to know? Rough sex is one thing but to get off on actually torturing women to the point they are covered in bruises and blood? He's a very sick, sick man. It goes to show you that money is not everything when it comes to finding the perfect guy. he might be able to buy you a fancy dinner at a posh restaurant but behind closed doors he could be a complete and utter monster as we've seen in this case. 

Thank you as always for joining me in this harrowing case, I hope you are ok and be sure to have a cup of tea and take a breather after reading this, I know I will after I finish editing this post.

Take care of yourselves and I hope to see you on my Socials as well as my next post x

Narcissistic Mother Killed Her Children Because They Got In The Way of Her Sugarbaby Lifestyle | Louise Porton

(Louise Porton. Picture credits: Mirror & BBC News)

The death of a child is always a heartbreaking situation, whether it be through illness or a tragic accident, the pain is all too real but when you learn that a child has lost their lives at the hands of their own Mother or Father, this is just almost too much to bare. In this week's post I've took another change of direction and come back to a more local UK crime. I like to post something different every week, from unknown cases to infamous cases. In this post I'm going to be talking about the hideous individual in the picture above, the self-proclaimed 'model' who lived for herself and herself only and would stop at nothing when it came to money.

In this case I will be talking about the deaths of young children so please be aware that some of the details will be quite upsetting, I will try to be as sensitive as I can. 

So I'll start with the background into Louise Porton's life and to say there was red flags and trouble from the start, is an understatement. You know the saying ''He/She would steal off their own granny given half the chance'', well Louise Porton certainly did that, amongst other things. Born in 1997 she'd always been a problem child. Her family did their best to tolerate her strange outbursts at family gatherings but she continued to isolate herself and nobody could understand why. There was no abusive situation going on or problems in the family to give some sort of understanding as to why her behaviour was so hostile towards others.

Her attitude to the younger kids in the family was appalling, the kids would want her to play with them and join in the fun but she would scream at them and use profanities. If one of the children dare sit next to her on the sofa she would shout at them. It seemed that nobody was safe from her outbursts. As well as the shouting and bawling at the kids and the adults, she liked to cause harm to the children and then pretend she didn't touch them when they ran to the adults with tears in their eyes. It seemed that she enjoyed being sadistic, she enjoyed causing drama and upset. If there ever was birthday party or happy occasion, you could bet your bottom dollar that Louise would put a negative spin on it somehow. 

When she was 11 her Mother ran off with another man and left her and her siblings with her Father. Her Father did the best that he could as well as the family pitching in but the abandonment of her Mother was to forever leave a scar on Louise and her behaviour just continued to get worse. Her Mother attempted to have some form of contact with her later on but Louise didn't want to know, as far as she was concerned, her Mother picked her boyfriend over her kids and that was that. 

At the weekends, Louise would go to her Grandmother's house, her Grandmother was like a second Mother to her and she was always fed well and looked after. Instead of being grateful and appreciative of her Grandmother's kindness, she decided to cause mayhem at her house too and started to steal from her. When the family found out about this a storm erupted and the rot between Louise and her family continued to grow until Louise left and decided to cut her family off. 

Instead of sitting down and talking with her family or maybe looking into some form of professional help in regards to her behaviour, Louise's attitude was that it was all their fault and she was the innocent victim. In her mid to late teens she started sleeping around and getting into all sorts of trouble with various boys. She would would perform sex acts on anyone who gave her attention and if they treated her well, she'd sleep with them. Louise soon realised that she was quite popular with men because of her figure, flirty behaviour and short skirts and dresses. When one of the men she had an encounter with, gave her some money, she thought that she could make a living out of it. 

She became a sugarbaby. There are two types of sugarbabies, there is the one's who talk to men online via OnlyFans (or some other form of site) and money is exchanged but neither physically meet. Then there's the other kind that meet men in public, have dinner with them and then it's decided if sexual intercourse is going to occur. Obviously the ones who meet men for dinner will make more money if they decide to sleep with the guy. In a lot of cases where money in exchange for sex is involved, sugarbaby is a fancy way of giving this transaction a label instead of coming out with the words 'prostitute', 'Escort' or 'Hooker'. In Louise's case, she told everybody that she was a model.

She signed up to quite a few sites under the name 'Lollipop' and would talk to men, she would engage in 'sexting' (where two people exchange sexually explicit texts about what they would like to do to each other) & phonecalls, she would send nude pictures and would meet men for sexual encounters. Despite having an average appearance she managed to make a living out of it and she loved the attention. 

She began a relationship with a guy and in the beginning it all looked like she'd turned a corner and finally settled down, they had two children together but it soon turned sour and nobody knows why. All we know is that Louise left this man whilst pregnant with their second child and refused to let him near either of the girls. He didn't even get the chance to hold his baby girl. Whatever the situation was between them as a couple, the man had a right to at least have some sort of visitation right to his children especially as he posed no threat to them and was described as a decent man. People saw it as another one of Louise's games. 

Fed up with being a Mother and having responsibilities, Louise continued on with sex work, she was still young herself at only 21. Some people would say that having two kids at 21 is a lot to take on and could maybe understand why she struggled because usually at that age you're out clubbing with your friends. In Louise's case, she didn't care, she went out clubbing, she acted like she was a single, care-free, no kids type of person. The girls (Lexi, who was 3 & Scarlett who was 17 months) were either left alone in the house or she'd dump them off somewhere with either her sister or a babysitter. 

She remained hostile towards her family despite their efforts to help her with the girls. Her sister was the one who managed to get some sort of relationship with her but even then, that was hard work and the pair would often end up arguing because of Louise's lack of parenting skills. Her sister did the best she could to look after the kids whilst Louise was out and even their Mother tried her best but Louise continued to be ungrateful and took advantage of people. Whenever anyone tried to talk to her about her behaviour as a Mother, she didn't want to know, it was her way or the high way. 

As well as difficult relationships with family members, Louise had a hard time keeping friendships too. She was a toxic person to be around and it was always about what people could do for her. 

She was addicted to the sex work and the attention from the creeps who paid her for sex. They became more important than her daughters and these men (customers, sugardaddies etc) would be invited back to the very small flat that she had (it's often been described as a bedsit) and whilst her two little girls were in the same room sleeping, she would have sex with these strange men basically in front of her own kids. Some of the guys would even ask if it was ok to have sex with the kids asleep in the room, her response was ''It'll be fine, we can do it if we are quiet''. Even writing this makes me feel sick, I think anyone who could have sexual intercourse in a room where children are present is just utterly vile, I can't even find the words for it and if you are a guy who is able to 'perform' in such circumstances, well, in my book that's peadophile territory.

It's not known what was the trigger for Louise doing what she was eventually to do where the girls were concerned, she continued with the sex work no matter where the girls were. She didn't seem to care what they saw, what they heard or what danger she was putting them in. 

It was no secret that Louise hated being a Mother, despite being blessed with two beautiful little girls, she just didn't have a maternal bone in her body. She didn't have care for anyone at the best of times, all she saw and cared about was herself and although out in public she dressed the girls nice and acted like Mum of the year, at home she was verbally and physically abusing the girls. 

(Little angels, Lexi & Scarlett. Picture credit: BBC News)

In the same week of January 2018, Lexi had been admitted to the hospital twice. At the first admittance Louise claimed that Lexi was having breathing difficulties, the poor little angel was in a poor state and the Medical team did what they could to help the child and on that occasion they were able to help her to pull through. Instead of being an emotional wreck at her daughter's bedside, Louise was acting like the whole thing was such an inconvenience for her. Not a tear in her eye or care, you'd think she'd be hugging the Doctors to say thank you but not a thing. Instead, whilst Lexi was in the hospital bed, Louise was on her phone talking to creepy Tom, Dick & Harry arranging meet-ups, sending nude pictures and thinking about how much money she was going to make. 

Lexi was a tough little cookie and was able to leave the hospital but Doctors were shocked to see her back again a couple of days later, this time they couldn't save her and it was heartbreaking. Louise showed no emotion and instead ran off to the bathroom to take topless pictures of herself to send to a man online in exchange for some cash. 

The heartless behaviour continued when Louise was at the funeral parlour, she was overheard laughing and joking on the phone. One of the staff noticed that she was talking to a man on FaceTime about meeting up. 

Just a few weeks after this, Louise murdered Scarlett and pretended to the paramedics that she had no idea what had happened, she told them she had the flu just like Lexi. 

Louise was trying to make out that both the girls had died from some bizarre flu-like illness and the Doctors struggled to find out what exactly caused their deaths. To anyone reading this post and to the people who knew Louise, it wouldn't be that hard to work out exactly what took place here, both of the girls dying in weeks of each other, Louise's behaviour and lack of love and care towards her kids. It was obvious and the cops investigated further and found some interesting internet searches on Louise's computer. 

Louise had been browsing in between chatting to men online. She looked up various killing methods to do with death, drowning, how to cover up a crime etc. After further investigation it was determined that both girls had died of some form of asphyxiation and Louise was arrested. 

She stood trial in 2019 and was found guilty and sentenced to a minimum of 32 years. When told of her fate, she simply stared down at her shoes. At no point during the trial did she show any remorse or apology what what she had done. 

Louise is currently serving her sentence in HM Prison Foston Hall in Derbyshire, England. 

In a sad and strange turn of events to the case, her estranged Mother took her own life in February 2020. It was reported that she had received a lot of online abuse because of what Louise had done and she was also tormented by what had happened. 

This was another tough case to cover and one that I found on my list of cases from a while ago. It's heartbreaking on so many levels. I think about how lucky Louise was to have had such beautiful little girls, it was her role to look after them, protect them and love them, instead she hurt these poor babies and what for? Money? Attention? The fact of the matter is, she should never have had children in the first place, knowing what we know about her now, you can imagine that she thought she would get more welfare money or something if she had kids. She certainly didn't want to be a Mother. As for her family, they expressed an interested in looking after the girls many times but Louise would have none of it. 

Why was Louise Porton the way that she was? What caused all of this? The family say there was no abuse but could it be possible that something happened to Louise somewhere away from the family home? Or was she just born evil? She never wanted to show love or be around people when she was a child so we cannot attribute this to Postnatal Depression. Louise was 21 when she murdered her children, not only has she taken these beautiful girls lives, caused her Mother to end hers and the family to be traumatised, she's wasted her own life. At 21 she was almost just a kid herself, certainly in her behaviour but that's no excuse for what she did. 

RIP Lexi and Scarlett, fly high beautiful little angels, you will never be forgotten. 


Further Reading & Sources

Court Documents | Regina V Louise Porton

Louise Porton | Article: BBC News

Louise Porton | Article: Daily Mail

Louise Porton | Article: The Sun

Louise Porton | Article: Independent

Louise Porton | Article: Mirror

Louise Porton | Article: Birmingham Mail

Louise Porton | Article: Wales Online

Louise Porton | Article: The Guardian

Louise Porton | Wikipedia

Louise Porton | CCTV Footage: Daily Mail

Louise Porton | CCTV Footage: Daily Mail

I would like to thank you as always if you've made it this far in my post, I know it's never easy to read and hear about these situations. We live in a horrible world sometimes, there is a lot of good in this world but there's a lot of evil too. There's people out there trying so hard to start a family or maybe can't afford to have one and would have given anything to have two beautiful daughters like Lexi and Scarlett. Louise is a twisted, evil and selfish narcissist and one wonders what must be going through her mind as she sits in her prison cell tonight , thinking about all those sexual favours with dirty old men for money, well that money is no use to her now. She had two of the most precious things in life that no money could ever buy and she ended their lives and threw hers away in the process. 

I hope you will join me again in my next post and I hope to see you on my Socials too.

Take care of yourselves x 

''I Cut His Tongue Out & Shoved It Up His A**, It Was Just Business'' | The Chilling & Gruesome Crimes of The Iceman, Richard Kuklinksi

(Richard Kuklinski. Picture credit: mirror)

 Richard Kuklinski is a name that few could ever forget, especially his nickname 'The Iceman'. He was as cold as ice in every sense of the word and although he was responsible for many deaths, he is not classed as a serial killer by the powers that be. Richard was a contract killer for the mob but he didn't just kill guys who didn't pay their debts, he killed guys who maybe looked at him the wrong way or, as he would put it ''made him feel bad''. It didn't take much to make Richard Kuklinski feel bad, he was a ticking time bomb who could be sitting having a calm chat with you one minute but then fly of the handle the next and shoot you. 

I've written about many serial killers and having spent a lot of time reading books about Richard and watching his prison interviews, it's clear to see that he has that cold, dead lack of remorse for his victims as many serial killers do but that he also did show emotion when it came to his family. Richard's family meant the world to him, his 'job' meant that he could provide for them and give them the better start in life that he never had. Richard isn't found on the Serial Killer list because he's classed as 'Killing for profit' with connections to the mob but there is still something so evil and sinister about how he was able to carry out his crimes without a shred of remorse and later talk about it like it was nothing. 

The things that he had done would sicken even the most hardcore of people. He wouldn't just carry out a contract killing with a simple bullet in the back of the head as is usually the case, no, Richard was very sadistic in his killings, he'd also take requests from the people who hired him. In one incidence he murdered a man then cut out his tongue and placed it in the man's anus. His methods of killing would involve shooting, strangling, beating or poisoning. He'd also dispose of the bodies in different ways, some were dismembered, some were crushed, some were left on a park bench for a member of the pubic or police to find and on one occasion that we know of (although this is assumed to have happened before), Richard kept a man's deceased body in a huge refrigerator for two years, this earned him the nickname 'The Iceman'. 

But who was Richard? How did all of this begin? Well, I've started this post a little differently with this lengthy introduction but Richard is quite infamous with many books, documentaries, interviews and so forth online and in libraries about him, there's even a movie based on him. I just wanted to talk about him briefly in this post as I have never covered a mob related crime before, especially a hit man story.

It will come as no surprise to you that Richard had a difficult and very disturbing childhood. He was born on the 11th of April 1935 into quite a cold and violent household in Jersey City, New Jersey (USA). He was the second of four children and the family struggled with poverty. His parents both had jobs but had very little money. He described his difficult childhood in an interview, he claimed that his mother was 'cancer' and would physically assault him for no reason. His father was also very violent to him and his siblings. Richard was quite a shy, timid child who struggled because of his home life. He was very confused because he'd be beaten by his parents for no reason at all, he lived his early childhood walking on eggshells. 

Because of his timid nature he became the target for a group of local bullies called 'The Project boys'. Everyone in the neighbourhood was living in hard times but this didn't create a sense of community as it should, so there was a lot of violence and crime. Richard struggled to fit in and the bullies would harass and beat him every chance they could get. Richard didn't have the strength to fight back and he felt very weak because of this. He didn't have the confidence and strength to stand up to his parents at home and he didn't have the strength to fight of the bullies, until one day, Richard had, had enough. 

He took a clothes pole from the wardrobe and went outside to where the bullies were hanging out. Without warning he proceeded to attack the gang of boys with the clothes pole. Nobody was expecting it and Richard had really shocked and frightened everyone, it did the trick though because they gang stopped bothering him. Instead of leaving things at that and being satisfied that he'd stood up to the bullies and made his point, Richard was hungry for blood. 

He spotted one of the gang members hanging about on his own one night and decided to beat the boy. The boy would not stop shouting and before he knew it, he had beaten him so badly that the boy was (in his mind) unconscious. Richard felt pleased with himself as he walked away with the clothes pole and felt that everyone would see what he had done and nobody would be able to dare mess with him in the future. 

Richard found out the next day that the boy he had beaten, had died. He was in shock and he later claimed that he didn't want that to happen, he claimed he just wanted to teach him a lesson and make a point to the others. He stood at his bedroom window and could see the police were everywhere and at first he was horrified with what he had done and nervous that people would put two and two together and come for him. He skipped school for a week because he couldn't face people. As the days went on, Richard realised that the cops were not going to come looking for him, the cops had nothing. It was at this point where he started to feel powerful, like he'd managed to do something that nobody else could. He felt smug and soon went from feeling a bit regretful at what he had done, to what he described as 'a buzz'. 

Richard had murdered someone for the very first time and nobody knew it was him. He had this secret that only he knew and he ended someone's life, to him, that made him feel powerful and gave him a surge of confidence. 

This murder was not a one-off and this was the start of a deadly path that Richard was to walk down. Things at home were horrendous, his father went too far with the beatings one night and had actually killed Richard's brother. Even sickeningly. his mother covered up what his father had done and told investigators that the boy had simply fallen down the stairs. Richard was horrified and the police carried on about their business, case closed. There was no proper justice for his brother. His father soon walked out on the family and it wasn't long before Richard had left too. 

He thought of himself as a bit of a businessman and would buy and sell copied pornographic videos as well as other items. In time he would become connected to the mob and soon he was making a lot of money dealing with them. He claimed that he had no choice and could not get a normal 9-5 job because of lack of proper education.

The only thing steady and pure in Richard's life was his partner, Barbara, he felt that he could really be himself around her. She knew all of his weaknesses and didn't try to mock him or exploit him. As close as he and Barbara were, even she wasn't safe from his temper. 

(Barbara & Richard Kuklinksi. Picture credit: smh)

On one occasion where Barbara had been worried sick about her father who was in hospital, Richard laughed about the situation and asked if her father was dead. He made a disturbing comment which caused Barbara to snap back at him. Richard, under no circumstances put up with anyone else talking to him in a certain way but he certainly wasn't going to have Barbara speak to him like that either. 

Barbara knew she was in trouble and ran outside in her robe, freezing cold. He chased after her in his car like a madman and tried to run her over. Barbara managed to get to spot where she was safe but could still see him. Richard had gone back to their house and sat outside in the car banging his head against things and hitting himself, Barbara watched on in utter disbelief. As cold as she was, she stood there until Richard tired himself out and slowly slumped back into the house before she attempted to go home. Luckily he had calmed down and gave her one of his frightening warnings. Some people reading this would think ''why didn't he leave him?''. Well for Barbara, Richard had been the perfect man when they met, he bought her roses, chocolates, held doors open for her and there was never an issue in the beginning. He bought her expensive designer clothing and treated her to the best restaurants so it was clear that Barbara enjoyed that lifestyle. 

Some eyebrows were raised but Barbara claimed to have no idea of what her husband did for a living. She said that she had never challenged him and it was understood that she was not to ask him any questions.  The couple had children together and lived in a beautiful big house. Richard became obsessed with the idea of moving to the same expensive neighbourhood that a former American president was living in. Richard's view was that he had all of this money, had the best of everything, gave his family the best of everything and now here he was, in the possibility of having a former president as a neighbour. To Richard, this proved to himself that he was not going to turn out like his parents, that he was not still that poor, bullied kid from a bad neighbourhood. His kids were not going to know what his childhood experience was like, he wanted them to have the finest things and education that money could buy. To Richard, money was status and he would do anything to get it. 

(Richard Kuklinksi with his daughters. Picture credit: Daily Record)

Richard kept his double life private, his family would be safe at home and he would travel around, meeting shady figures, making money deals and killing for his mob customers. After he did these unspeakable things and dumped bodies that he took time to dismember, he would return to his family without a care in the world. Richard never cared about any of his victims and wasn't sorry for what he had done. The only thing he felt sorry for was hurting his family. 

He was so cold and collected that he was able to shoot someone at point blank range on a Christmas Eve night and then calmly leave the body in the victim's car and return to his house to be with his wife and children as they opened presents and sang Christmas songs. Richard recalled seeing the news reports that night and found it amusing that the reporters had called the incident a mob killing and that they had no leads. When asked later on if he felt any remorse about murdering this man on Christmas Eve, all he could say was that he was more concerned with helping his kids put their toys together. Whenever he was asked about what he had done or why he had done it, he'd always respond with ''It was just business''. 

Richard managed to carve out a life for himself and his family and had managed to get away with things for years. The police were soon on his tail though when they began to notice that many of Richard's acquaintances were suddenly turning up dead somewhere or that people who had been due to meet him for a business meeting, were suddenly vanishing into thin air. Richard had a habit of getting rid of people and even he didn't know for sure how many guys he had killed, it could possibly be over 100.

After leaving a trail of bodies behind him in various circumstances, an undercover cop befriended him in an attempt to get information. The cop wore wires at the meetings and as the man's colleagues listened on as Richard described in detail how he loved to kill people using the poison, Cyanide, they realised that the cop would be next on Richard's hit list. It was a bad sign if Richard Kuklinski opened up to you about his crimes, it meant that your days, possibly moments, were numbered. Whatever the case, Richard got sloppy and managed to fall into the trap that the cops had set up for him. As intelligent as he was in the ways of crime, Richard had been fooled by the undercover cop and soon found the handcuffs on him. 

He was arrested on the 17th of December 1986 and was as cool as a cucumber with no extreme reaction. He later said that he responded in this manner because his wife was present. If his wife had not been there, he would have had a shoot-out with the cops. 

(Richard Kuklinski. Picture credit: vintag)

Richard was sentenced to 60 years in prison and later had an additional two life sentences added on, he was never going to see the light of day outside of the prison walls again. In a bizarre incidence, the infamous murderer, John List (I wrote about his case here!!) had gotten word that Richard was on his wing and set about trying to befriend him. Richard was having none of it, despite killing people for money and greed, Richard was on his high horse about John List and the fact that John had murdered his family. Richard felt that his victims deserved what they had gotten, that the most of them were bad guys but John's victims were is own family and to Richard, killing your own family was something that could never be forgiven. 

Richard, despite his unloving and violent home life as a child, had managed to build his own family with his wife and quite shockingly, he was a great father (which is quite a bizarre thing to say) and had a very strong bond with his children. It's hard to believe that the same man who put dead bodies in freezers and dismembered people, was also the same guy who took his wife to feed the ducks at the local park and would request romantic songs to be played when they had dinner at their favourite restaurant. He was so much like a mobster, he wasn't Italian but his belief about the importance of protecting the family at all costs and with his life of crime, treating it all as just 'business', it screams of movies we have all seen in the past like Goodfellas and The Godfather. 

He remained private about his family in his years in incarceration but it is clear that he was in touch with them. His wife never divorced him but she did sell the house and moved away. His children grew up and had families of their own. The only time that Richard ever showed any emotion was when he spoke about his family. He didn't care about his victims or the families of his victims. 

In an interview, which can be found online, Richard sits chewing gum, acting carefree and casual as he talks about his crimes in that slow, distinctive tone of his which is pretty much unmistakable. He tells the story of a man he had murdered. He explains in a cold, unfeeling manner that the man begged and pleaded for his life, that the man prayed to God for help. Richard found that amusing (especially as his parents were very religious and he had a stint himself as an alter boy) and told the man that he would give him 30 minutes to ask God to come down and change the situation. When God didn't show up, he murdered the man. There's a brief moment where it looks like Richard is having a moment of regret, a spark of remorse in his eyes but it's soon gone and he says ''I shouldn't have done it.....I shouldn't have done it in that way.''

As years went by with Richard in prison, he was quite open to talk to various investigators and criminal profilers as well as writers. As I mentioned before, there is quite a number of articles, books and documentaries on him. I think the most informative of them all is his prison interview because obviously that's straight from the horse's mouth (I will include the interview along with other useful links at the end of this post). His final years in prison were plagued with illness and paranoia. He was convinced that the mob were trying to poison him behind bars. Richard was called to give evidence against a former associate and he told his family that he was potentially being poisoned. Things took an even bizarre turn when Richard suddenly passed away on the 5th of March 2006 which was attributed to his health issues (Kawasaki disease) but his family who had taken on board his concerns that the mob were trying to kill him, requested a second opinion after an autopsy had been performed. It was confirmed that Richard Kuklinski had died at the age of 70 from natural causes. 

Normally towards the end of a post I take a moment to think about the victims of terrible crimes that I have written about but in this situation, it's a bit of a conundrum because Richard, who was a murderer, a thief, an abuser and a monster, was killing other people who were murderers, thieves, abusers and monsters. So instead I think about his children and the children of the people that he killed. One can only hope that these children didn't go on to repeat the sins of their fathers. 

Richard said that he had learned from a young age that if you hurt people, they leave you alone. One wonders what would have happened had Richard not had the childhood he was forced to endure. He didn't really have a chance to begin with in those circumstances but that doesn't excuse what he did and what he became. He proved that he could be a family man and make a real go of things but in his mind, in order to have the life that he wanted, the fancy lifestyle and the better schools for his children, he couldn't resist the money and power that his crimes gave him. 

And his family? the fact that they continued to have a relationship with him after everything was out in the open. I have to say that, I can sort-of understand because he was a different person with them and because of who his victims were. I don't mean that to sound in a disrespectful manner but he was killing bad guys who were involved in bad things, if he'd been killing innocent people, women, elderly ladies, children etc then I think it would have been different, his family would have disowned him possibly? Richard Kuklinski was two people and was able to lead a double life for years.

He said he wanted to give his family and children the life that he never had as a child and to begin with, when everything was hidden, his family had the good life and never wanted for anything but that soon came crashing down. They are left with a legacy of what he has done and I know that troubled him. 


Further Reading & Sources:

The Iceman: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer | Book by Philip Carlo

The Iceman Tapes: Conversations With A Killer: Richard Kuklinski | Interview (Documentary)

The Iceman & The Psychiatrist | Interview (Documentary)

Richard Kuklinksi | Crime Museum

Richard Kuklinski | Wikipedia

The Iceman | Movie: Wikipedia


I thank you as always for checking out my latest post and I will hopefully see you again in my next case as well as on social media

Take care x