Showing posts with label celebritydeaths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebritydeaths. Show all posts

Where Did It All Go Wrong? The Tragic Story of Andy Gibb

(Collage created by Caledonian Kitty. Picture credits: Biography)

When I think about the music that my parents played growing up, I count myself very blessed for in amongst the classic albums of the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, there was always a Bee Gees number in there somewhere. They were brought to my attention through being a fan of Grease and Saturday Night Fever and my mum was always a huge fan of Barry Gibb and their music. To me, the Bee Gees were just as important in music history as The Beatles were, but they don't get the full recognition that they deserve. I watched a Glastonbury clip on You Tube recently and it was from a few years ago when Coldplay had a surprise guest on stage and it was none other than Barry Gibb himself. With such music royalty you'd have thought that the audience would be screaming the place down but unfortunately this particular audience were a bit lukewarm and I was angry at my laptop screen because I thought that Barry deserved a heroes welcome. 

I understand that a lot of the people in that audience are of a certain age and taste but that's no excuse, The Bee Gees were before my time but I still know who they are, but anyway, I'm sure you know the significance of how important the Bee Gees have been to the world of music. I had to begin this post talking about the Bee Gees because the person I'm focusing on in this post was the youngest of the Gibb brothers, Andy. All together there were four brothers. 

The Bee Gees were formed in 1958 as a trio, Barry, Robin and Maurice. Barry was the oldest of the Gibb brothers and each were very talented singers, songwriters and musicians in their own right. The height of the band's success was in the late 1960s through to the 1970s but they were so incredibly popular with numerous hits not only for themselves but writing for other artists that they pretty much cemented their place in music history. They continued to release songs and tour up until the sad deaths of Robin and Maurice. Maurice was only 53 when he passed away on the 12th of January 2003, after issues with his health and suffering from a cardiac arrest. Robin passed away on the 20th of May 2012 at the age of 62. He had battled a number of health conditions in the later years of his life which were connected to colon cancer. As I move along this post I will be talking more about Andy but if you are unaware of his story you've probably pretty much guessed sadly that Andy too is no longer with us. I will go into the circumstances of his death as we go on but a heartbreaking outcome all round to find that Barry is the only one left out of the four brothers who is still standing. Barry is still going strong at the remarkable age of 78 and there really is no end to that man's talent. 

So, as you can imagine, Andy being so much younger than his brothers, being born on the 5th of March 1958 in Manchester, England, there was about 8 to 9 years between him and his two brothers Robin and Maurice. Barry being the oldest was 12 years apart in age from Andy. The funny thing is that Andy and Barry were almost like twins despite the age gap, they both looked alike, acted alike and even had the same birthmark. Andy idolized Barry and wanted to be just like him. Andy's upbringing was quite a surreal one, when his three brothers began making waves the whole Gibb family went from being a working class poor family from England to a worldwide sensation. Andy was still very young but watched in awe as his brothers, particularly Barry, got so much positive attention everywhere they went, screaming girls, fancy cars, fancy clothes and a never-ending supply of money. Whenever Andy wanted a new toy he got it, his brothers made sure that he and the family never went without a single thing. 

It all sounds bliss, having the Bee Gees as your brothers and being able to afford whatever you wanted but his parents tried to keep him as grounded as much as possible and part of this was attending a local school. Andy was attending school with kids who lived in quite impoverished backgrounds and they all knew who he was. Instead of (what some people might expect) admiration from the other kids at the fact that he had famous brothers, he was bullied endlessly. He was nicknamed 'The Bee Gees Kid' and was forever being ridiculed and laughed at. I remember talking to someone a few years ago who is the younger brother of the lead singer of a very famous band (I won't mention the name cause he told me this in confidence) and I assumed that he must have had a whale of a time being related to a legend but he put me straight. He told me that he didn't have a childhood. As well as having to deal with fans camping outside the family home, he was also bullied at school and it would be even worse if his brother's band had appeared on TV the night before. We know it's all jealousy but these guys were just young kids and to be constantly singled out and made to feel different must have been very hard. A lot of us know what it's like to be bullied and you usually assume that it's just poor kids that get bullied but there are people out there who will bully someone for being smart or having a better lifestyle than them. 

Andy's original dream was not to follow his brothers into the world of music, he wanted to be a Doctor. Being a Doctor seemed to be what he was set on until Barry bought him a guitar and he became hooked on playing. He still hero-worshipped Barry and decided that he wanted to get into music himself. Barry, his other brothers and his parents were all very supportive and encouraged him to keep practicing. 

Barry, Robin and Maurice, despite their success, knew how hard the music industry was and the pressures that came along with fame. They did their best to shield Andy from the showbiz lifestyle but it was very difficult. Andy was determined to be a star but he was also very shy at times and didn't have the confidence like that of his brothers. He was often described as being very sensitive. As Andy got older he expressed his desire to be famous like his brothers and really wanted to be part of the Bee Gees. For some reason the option of Andy joining the Bee Gees was never entertained by the other brothers for reasons best known to them. The trio had already cemented their place in music history and they were supportive of Andy with encouraging him to keep practicing and really go for a career but they didn't want him to be part of the band. 

With the help of his parents, brothers (especially Barry), Andy was set up with a music career. Barry helped him with songwriting and was a mentor to him. His mother got a band together and acted as a manager. Things took a while to take off and there were some dramas at this time. Andy was quite careless and found himself in a number of mishaps whilst living in Australia, especially a very serious one where he was driving a new car and accidentally ran someone over, the victim was sadly left disabled for life, having lost both legs and Andy's parents reportedly freaked out when they were aware of what happened and moved him as quick as they could out of the country. 

There was numerous stops and starts with his music career and he was constantly billed as 'The Bee Gee's Youngest Brother', this irked him but at the same time he understood that it was how it was supposed to be because a lot of people still didn't know who he was. With Barry's help he recorded the now classic song 'I Just Want To Be Your Everything'. Andy didn't have the confidence in his songwriting despite Barry encouraging him to keep going because he believed that he really had something. Barry was known to be an incredible songwriter who could basically write a hit in 15 minutes, right on the spot. Not to take away from Andy's talent because he was very gifted himself but Barry pretty much helped Andy a lot with his music career, not just songwriting and advice but backing vocals, harmonies and in some cases he would sing the song and Andy would sing over the top of it. 

There had been some drama in Andy's love life with a woman he had met in Australia, she was constantly being a thorn in his side and played on his vulnerabilities. When she blackmailed him into marrying her, the Gibb family (along with his friends) didn't approve and none of the Gibb family attended the wedding. The relationship was on and off for a while before they finally called it quits but not before she dropped a bombshell that she was pregnant. At the very height of Andy's success which was in the late 1970s to early 1980s, instead of being able to sit back and enjoy finally having made it, he still faced the constant comparisons to his brothers and accusations that Barry basically gave him a career despite all he had done to work so hard. Andy wrote songs which weren't released and this further frustrated him. He was a fantastic singer with a great personality and was very talented on the guitar but he didn't have the self belief and confidence like he wasn't really ready, he certainly struggled tremendously with fame. He'd struggled with being known as 'The Bee Gees Kid' and struggled even more so when the spotlight was fully placed on him. 

The music industry stuck a label on Andy claiming he was a teen heartthrob and he wasn't too comfortable with this either knowing fine well how short such careers tended to be in the music industry. When people went to see Andy perform they thoroughly enjoyed his performances and could see that he was very passionate and giving his all. He talked about how he enjoyed performing but also said that if there were times that things were getting a bit quiet he would perform some of the Bee Gee's songs and that would bring the audience to life. When he talked about singing his brothers songs, it wasn't negative, he loved singing the songs because he really wanted to be the fourth Bee Gee. There were moments when the Bee Gees were on tour and they would bring Andy on stage and it all seemed to work out great but still they decided it best that he didn't join them permanently. Robin mentioned in an interview that he didn't want Andy to be part of the band. It's actually very sad when you think about it and confusing at the same time. I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this. Why did the brothers decide not to have him in the band? Do you think it would have worked? 

Andy was trying to make a name for himself and he did have some success but when he tried to continue the novelty was starting to wear off. There was initially excitement around him (he actually had a very impressive start to his career with three number one singles as a new artist) because he was the youngest Gibb brother and he was very handsome but for some reason, maybe because of the style of music and the change of music styles at the time going into the 1980s, his popularity was beginning to wane especially with the death of Disco music. He became involved with a TV show called 'Solid Gold' and had also been very popular in musical theatre productions. Despite things not going quite to plan with the music career, he still had a lot of public interest and a lot of things going for him in his career, he was also dating one of the most beautiful women in the world at the time, actress Victoria Principal. You would have thought that this would have helped make things a bit better for him because he did have some success but it just wasn't in the same vein as his brothers. His was a different type of road to success but still he wasn't happy within himself. 

Andy was never a complete angel but around this time the drugs took hold of him in a big way and he was in constant bouts of depression. It began affecting his career and his relationship as well as his health. He'd been back and forth to the hospital with heart issues after one of his drug binges and it wasn't enough to scare him. Victoria Principal ended the relationship because she couldn't cope with the drug use. People did try to help him but he shut himself away from people. The show 'Solid Gold' were supportive initially but it was very difficult for them because they had to tape two shows just in case Andy didn't show up to film. He became unreliable and eventually everything dried up. 

A friend noticed that he had a lot of letters on the dashboard of his car and he refused to open them, when asked what they were he said they were from his mother. His ex-wife from Australia turned up out of the blue and called him asking him to meet their daughter. At first Andy was unsure of what exactly this woman really wanted and assumed she was looking for money but she claimed that she just wanted him to see their daughter. He finally agreed and he met them, he got on well with his daughter and bought her a bracelet planning to keep in regular contact but sadly it was never to be. 

With his music career a no-go, his TV career and relationship gone, Andy Gibb was in a very lonely place as the late 1980s approached, it was a difficult decade for him just trying to keep his head above water as depression and addiction took full hold. In 1988 according to Barry, Robin and Maurice, Andy had been through hell but had gotten clean and was in talks to make a comeback musically, he really wanted to have another shot trying something different this time. Barry was considering having Andy more involved with the Bee Gee's providing that he was 100% clean, in the past Barry had tried to persuade Maurice and Robin about Andy joining the band but there were not comfortable with that idea. This time it did look like Andy was taking some very positive steps and had managed to make one of his dreams comes true, to be able to get a pilot's license to fly a plane. Andy studied and practiced and passed with flying colours (excuse the pun) and his brothers and family were so proud of him and believed that he was really on the road to recovery this time. He was in regular contact with his brothers and celebrated his 30th birthday in London with plans to make a new album. Things were starting to look positive despite the reality that Andy was in a huge amount of debt but plans had been put in place to help manage all of that with the help of his brothers and family. On and off since the late 70s, Andy had heart problems but never told his brothers, only his parents knew and they kept it a secret. The brothers knew that Andy suffered from chronic fatigue and could fall asleep at the drop of a hat but they just put that down to him working so hard and not sleeping properly. Andy kept his health issues to himself for most of his life. 

With things looking like they were turning a positive corner with Andy looking better than he had been in a long time, just days after his birthday things took a horrific turn. Andy was experiencing heart issues, the kind that he had endured for years but this time there was crippling stomach pains too. His mother took him to the hospital and he went through various tests, Andy asked his mother ''Could I die from this?''

The situation with the stomach pains that Andy was going through ended up being the very same condition that his brother Maurice would go through many years later. When Maurice fell ill, he was rushed to hospital where the stomach pains were quickly diagnosed, he went though some surgery and his life was saved. 

Whilst Andy was at the hospital things just went from bad to worse as the Doctors tried to find out the cause of the chest and stomach pains. Andy didn't reveal to the Doctors about his long history of drug and alcohol abuse so the Doctors were confused trying to figure out what was really going on with an otherwise very healthy looking young man. Andy's health sadly continued to decline and before anyone knew what was happening he just suddenly passed away at the age of just 30. His death was determined to have been caused by Myocarditis (inflammation of the heart muscle) and other factors which were connected to his history of drug and alcohol abuse. His heart was so very weak and couldn't cope. This condition can be overcome depending on the severity of the inflammation and the individual's lifestyle and overall health. Andy had years of drinking and taking drugs to the extreme to the point that it all took over everything, his life, his career and his relationship. Everyone who knew him was devastated but part of them knew it was always a possibility because of how strong the addictions was. Various attempts at rehab, support etc was given, offered and tried out, nothing helped. 

An autopsy was performed on Andy and the coroner found that there was no drugs in his system, he really had been kicking the habit. The reason for his untimely death was due to the weakening of the heart muscle because of previous years of drug use. 

I've watched some interviews over the years that the Bee Gees have done and Barry always gets emotional when talking about Andy. Barry (although he wasn't to know what was going to happen) feels guilty about encouraging Andy to have a music career and wished that he had just done what he originally wanted, and that was to become a Doctor. 

It's such a shame that such a talented family have had so many heartbreaks and for Barry to see and feel the loss of each of his brothers. Despite the differences, the egos, the career problems and fighting over songwriting, attempts at solo careers and who's going to sing the lead on a certain song etc....at the end of the day, they all loved each other and they all contributed to an incredible legacy which will continue to live on and entertain for generations to come. 

I wish things had turned out different for Andy but I cannot imagine what it must have been like for someone who was not only born with quite an age gap from his brothers to those brothers being one of the biggest bands of all time. The pressure that he must have felt and the loneliness, it must've been very difficult. 

RIP Andy, Maurice and Robin. Thank you for sharing your incredible talent with us and for all of these musical masterpieces that you created. You will be remembered for all time. 

Andy's final resting place is located in Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Los Angeles. On his memorial plaque along with his name and date of birth and death, is the inscription 'An Everlasting Love' which was one of his hit songs. The song was performed by Andy and written by Barry. 

Further Reading & Sources: 

- Arrow Through The Heart: A Biography of Andy Gibb | Book by Matthew Hild

- BeeGees | Official Website

- Andy Gibb | Wikipedia

- Andy Gibb | Find A Grave

- Bee Gees | Wikipedia

- Bee Gees: Children of The World | Book by Bob Stanley

- Andy Gibb | Documentary | Our History

- Bee Gees | Documentary | Cal Vid Youtube

- Andy Gibb | Biography

I hope this post, as sad as it is gave you a bit more of an insight into the career of the life and tragic death of Andy Gibb (if you were not already familiar), the music of Andy and the Bee Gee's will live on forever. I hope you will join me next time for another post. In the meantime I hope to see you on my Socials

Stay safe until next time x

Ticking Timebomb: The Downward Spiral of Chris Benoit | Dark History From The World of Wrestling: Part Two

(Collage created by Caledonian Kitty. Picture credits: imdb / skysports / elpasotimes / wrestlingfigs)

*Please be aware that I will be sharing some very disturbing details in this post which will discuss sensitive subjects such as Domestic Violence, Suicide, Murder and Substance abuse*

So, here it is, I have finally decided to write about Chris Benoit after years of requests and because I couldn't bring myself to do it which may sound strange. I have written about many disturbing cases over the years but there are some that even I can find a bit too hard to get through and with the Chris Benoit case, it's always been a very dark and disturbing part of wrestling history. Not only that, it is a story that shocked the hell out of everyone and still to this day so many people struggle to even comprehend what actually happened and why it happened. Looking back, especially if you are a wrestling fan like myself, it's clear watching old clips and taking into account everything that was going on just before Chris Benoit murdered his wife, his son and then took his own life, the glass was beginning to crack more and more. 

I try to be non-objective in my posts but you will probably find in this series (in case you haven't read the first instalment: The Tragic Story of Miss Elizabeth) that I might share my own thoughts here and there and as always, I welcome yours. If you've just stumbled across this post....basically I am currently writing about some of the dark and disturbing cases and stories from the world of wrestling and this is the second instalment. I come at this not only as a true crime writer but as a wrestling fan so like many of you reading this now, I grew up glued to the TV screen, on the edge of my seat waiting for my favourite wrestlers to make their grand entrances, I was hooked on many a storyline, I felt the adrenaline when standing next to Batista (yes, I've been to shows), I watch wrestling practically every day and it's always been a part of my life since childhood. 

Wrestling has brought me a lot of joy and great memories in my life and for most of us it is something special and fun. So when we lose one of our superstars it is heartbreaking and we have lost a lot of people over the years. We've seen a lot of scandals too, we know there is a lot of negative stuff that goes on and gets covered up but still we find ourselves committed to it. I still remember when the horrible news was made public that the legendary (I'll describe him as that for that time because he was an icon back then) wrestler Chris Benoit, his beautiful wife Nancy (who was also a legend in the wrestling world) and their adorable son, Daniel were found murdered at their luxurious family home in Fayetteville, Georgia on the 25th of June 2007. 

All these emotions just hit me at once and I know it was the same for many other people. Horror, shock, confusion, sadness, grief and anger, wanting to know what happened. All these emotions and not for one second did I think that Chris was responsible, it never even entered my mind and usually with these horrible situations your first thought is to assume it was a father who went on a rampage. I wasn't the only one, it seemed that nobody believed Chris to be responsible, most of us assumed that some psychotic fan had broken into the house, maybe a burglary gone wrong or some sort of dodgy business deal with the wrong people resulting in a horrific outcome. WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) seemed to be of the same mind as us because through the tears of everyone involved with the company, they wasted no time in having a 3-hour tribute show to Chris and his family. 

(Chris Benoit. Picture credit: imdb)

Most of us cried watching the tribute show and we saw Vince McMahon who was usually playing his character to the back row, appear emotional and serious as was to be expected in the shocking circumstances. The grief stung us all but then more details emerged and it was worse than any of us could have imagined, with utter disbelief, we found out that the man we had been crying for and paying tribute to as well as Nancy and Daniel, was in fact responsible for murdering his beautiful family. Nobody wanted to believe it, conspiracies and rumours ran wild. Kevin Sullivan's name kept being mentioned along with crazy theories and the worst of all was a section of fans who believed that Nancy was responsible and had set-up Chris to take the blame which was ridiculous and utterly disrespectful. I may have been (and still am) a wrestling fan but some people are devoted to certain superstars and with some fans Chris was their idol since their childhoods, it was so traumatic for them that having to face the truth was too much, in their minds there had to be some other explanation. 

There's been books written about Chris Benoit and documentaries shared and they've all been informative but some of the details are mixed, opinions are varied and even relatives of Chris and Nancy can't seem to agree on the exact details. Some people have said things on podcasts that investigators dispute, there was talk of a suicide note that Chris had left behind but according to his older surviving son, this was false. I also found in my research that not only did this nightmarish series of events almost ruin WWE, there was this quick 'all hands on deck' approach to making WWE appear as amazing as possible, as detached from Chris as much as possible and in no way, shape or form held responsible for anything that may have helped this situation to escalate to which it had. The simple fact was, WWE were not supportive enough of their wrestlers, red flags had been ignored on more than one occasion and steroids have always been in the background. Untimely and sudden deaths have constantly plagued the profession which you could say is the case with all kinds of sport. I found in my research that there is the 'Official story' and then there's 'The Truth' People will cover their backs, flush the steroids down the toilet and come up with an 'official' story to explain the circumstances in a more palatable way. 

Chris was what we call an 'old school' wrestler who had worked his way up with many challenges, in wrestling terms he was considered to be 'small' in the beginning but he refused to give up. A devoted fan of wrestling from the tender age of 11, he grew up idolizing Thomas Billington aka the Dynamite Kid (I will be writing about Thomas and his cousin, Davey Boy Smith aka The British Bulldog, in an upcoming post). 

The Dynamite kid as well as his cousin, The British Bulldog, were no strangers to scandal and had shocking ends to both of their careers and lives. I will go into all of the details in the coming weeks but Chris was  transfixed with the Dynamite Kid when he was younger and tried to copy everything from his style to his signature moves. Chris was always a determined individual even as a young boy and he was able to pull strings and meet his idol backstage at a show, Chris was just 13 at the time. At that time the Dynamite Kid was riding the high of his career but it was all soon to come crashing down, but in that moment, the young Chris Benoit was starstruck and wanted to be just like him. 

(The Dynamite Kid & The British Bulldog. Picture credit: skysports)

So, a little bit of background on Chris Benoit's upbringing, he was born Chris Michael Benoit on the 21st of May 1967 in Montreal, Quebec (his birth date of the 21st of May was the same as his future wife Nancy's, although she was born in the year 1964). He was a quiet child, able to speak both English and French fluently, he had moved to Edmonton with his sister and parents earlier in his childhood. As I mentioned earlier, he'd been obsessed with wrestling since childhood idolizing the Dynamite Kid and Bret Hart. He studied the Dynamite Kid and when he did go into the wrestling business himself he was regularly compared to his idol. Chris was determined to achieve his dream and he did whatever it took to get there even taking steroids and training like crazy despite still being a young kid. No matter how hard he worked though, he was still deemed 'small' for a wrestler but he never lost his determination and at 18 he begged Stuart Hart for a chance to learn the ropes and he was put through his paces to see if he could take it. Chris was taken to 'The Dungeon' and was taught the hardcore training (which was often described a torturous and like the worst bootcamp you could ever imagine) and lifestyle that he would have to commit to if he was determined to succeed, he gave it all he got. 

One thing you could say about Chris Benoit back then was that he was never shy of hard work, he would travel every weekend to these gruelling training sessions when other young guys would be out at the weekends partying, during the week Chris would work for his Dad. 

In some ways you have to admit how remarkable it was that he ended up working with (and trained) by some of the wrestlers he idolized growing up. He travelled far and wide to learn his craft and even wrestled in Japan for a year as well as Mexico and Europe. During this time he was never too proud to get his hands dirty by doing the menial tasks whilst continuing to learn the ropes from his trainers. 

When he met fellow wrestler Eddie Guerrero, the pair found that they had a lot of similarities including trying to make it in the wrestling world despite constantly being thrown obstacles and deemed 'too small' and often overlooked. There friendship became more like a brotherhood and the pair would joke about being soulmates but it was true. Eddie became the rock that Chris would lean on when times were difficult. Eddie was the voice of reason and would often put Chris straight if he began to get frustrated and doubt his ability. 

Chris didn't find it that easy to open up to people so with Eddie he had this unique bond. Any problems that he had he would talk to Eddie about them. Chris did have some other close friends that he grew up in the industry with and they meant so much to him. These friendships were very important to him. 

Chris had been married twice and had three children in total. His first marriage to Martha ended in 1997 and with her he had both a son, David and a daughter, Megan. His second marriage to Nancy came about after the pair had gotten close after they had been working together on a storyline which involved Nancy's then husband, the wrestler Kevin Sullivan. It was actually Kevin's idea to have this love triangle storyline and would tell both Chris and Nancy to make sure that they were seen together in restaurants and the same hotels. Chris didn't feel comfortable with this in the beginning but soon accepted the idea. During this time, Nancy and Chris became close especially when Nancy confided in Chris about how the marriage was suffering and that Kevin would be violent at times. Chris was like a big teddy bear to Nancy and in the beginning was very romantic and protective so they fell in love and Nancy got divorced from Kevin and Chris's marriage to Martha had already broken down. 

(Nancy Benoit. Picture credit: imdb)

When Nancy married Chris it was to be her third and final marriage and her first time at being a mother. Their son, Daniel was born on the 25th of February 2000. By the time Nancy had met Chris she had already made an established career in the wrestling field herself but not as a wrestler, more of a valet and manager. Nancy had been close friends with Miss Elizabeth (who I wrote about in part one of this series). 

To everyone around them, the Benoit family looked like the dream. They had their normal ups and downs like all marriages too but soon things began to fall apart. There was the usual pressures of their careers but Nancy decided to step down from what she had been doing to focus on family life, Chris continued on with his career and managed to achieve everything he wanted to with his proud wife and son by his side. Eddie was there cheering him on too and Eddie was also ahead in his own wrestling career. They both celebrated each other's success and the fact that all of that hard work they had done over the years had finally payed off, they were are the top of their game and like true brothers, they were so proud of each other. 

(Eddie Guerrero. Picture credit: elpasotimes)

The pair had finally made it but the joy and celebration was to be cut short because sadly Eddie Guerrero passed away in his hotel room on the 13th of November 2005. He was just 38 years old and had collapsed in the bathroom. His nephew Chavo was alerted by the hotel staff that Eddie wasn't responding to his requested morning call. When Chavo managed to get into his beloved uncle's room, it was too late, Eddie passed away in his arms. His untimely death was the result of heart disease brought on by past use of steroids and alcohol. Eddie was four years sober at this time but was working out to excess and the toll of the training and stress took it's toll. He hadn't been feeling well for weeks leading up to his death and his family assumed it was just exhaustion. Chris Benoit was downstairs in the lobby of the hotel when he was informed that Eddie died and he was completely devastated. Eddie's sad death was another example of a situation where past use of steroids had done so much harm to his organs that at the age of 38 his life was sadly cut short. 

This practice of hiding or getting rid of substances that a wrestler may have been using in these tragic circumstances, was apparently common practice. In 1984 the legendary wrestler Bruiser Brody (who is also part of my series so keep your eyes peeled for that upcoming post) according to Ric Flair, had disposed of drugs that had belonged to David Von Erich when the wrestler sadly passed away whilst on a wrestling tournament of Japan. The death was reportedly attributed to an accidental overdose of Hydrocodone (which I seem to be seeing this painkiller pop up a lot in my research with wrestlers deaths). This has been disputed though with his family claiming his death was the result of a heart attack. The death has also been listed as ruptured intestines resulting from acute enteritis. 

Eddie's death hit everyone really hard and at the time of his death he was at the height of his career and was very much loved and admired by the fans and his fellow wrestlers. When WWE payed tribute to Eddie, there was hardly a dry eye in the house. Chris Benoit was utterly devastated and broke down completely. Through tears he said:

''Eddie Guerrero was my best friend and I'm sure there's a lot of people he knew that would be able to say the same thing about him. He was such a beautiful person, such a kind hearted person, I couldn't find the words, words couldn't describe what kind of human being Eddie truly was. I've known Eddie for just about 15 years and spent a good portion of the 15 years with him on the road, we laughed together, cried together, fought each other, been up and down, each and every mountain, each and every highway. Eddie always led by example. He was the one friend I could go to and pour my heart out to if I was going through something, if I had a personal issue, a personal problem he was the one guy I could call and talk to and know he would understand and know he would talk me out of it because all of the experiences he'd been through. I believe in leading by example and Eddie always led by example by his life because of all the obstacles he went through and conquered and became a better person and he often used that as an example. We never left each other without telling each other that we loved each other and I can truly say that I love Eddie Guerrero. He's a man that I can say I love and I love his family and my heart and thoughts and my prayers go out to...and Eddie I know you're in a better place. I know that you're looking down on me right now. I only know that I love you and I miss you.....Eddie you made such a great impression in my life and I want to thank you for anything you have ever given me and I want to thank you from my heart and tell you that I love you and I'll never forget you and that we'll see each other again. I love you Eddie.'' 

The devastating loss of Eddie Guerrero had changed Chris Benoit forever, I believe that this was the beginning of the downward spiral for Chris. He and Nancy both had to deal with numerous deaths of close friends all in a short space of time. Chris had lost his closest friend in the whole world, the person who he could turn to about anything and the one who kept him on the straight and narrow, now it seemed like he was lost and felt more helpless and more devastated the more friends he had lost, people he had come up through the wrestling business with and had been so important to him. The loss of so many friends, the problems in the marriage and there was rumoured concern about Daniel's development. After the horrific deaths of the Benoit family, theories went around that Daniel had been suspected of having 'Fragile X', which is a condition that causes developmental issues. His teachers later came forward to say that this was false, Daniel was at the same level of learning as his fellow classmates and was doing well academically. 

On the 28th of January 2006 the Mexican wrestler known as 'Black cat' sadly passed away and died of he sudden heart attack at the age of just 51. Victor (his real name Victor Manuel) had been responsible for training Chris whilst he was in Japan and the pair struck up a great friendship. Not long after this, another close friend of Chris's, Michael Durham known as the wrestler 'Johnny Grunge' suddenly passed away at the young age of 39 as a result of sleep apnea which led to a blockage in his arteries due to obesity. Prescription pills were also listed as a factor. Michael had been supporting Chris through the death of Eddie. 

Chris kept a diary which he wrote letters to Eddie as a way of trying to cope but he missed him terribly and the deaths of his dear friends were making things even more devastating, it was grief on top of grief with no end in sight. 

Things between Chris and Nancy continued to get worse and Nancy confided in her neighbour and close friend Holly that things were not right between them. 

(The Benoit family home. Picture credit: gigwise) 

On that horrible day of Monday June the 25th 2007 the next door neighbour and close friend (Holly Schrepfer) was very concerned with Nancy's lack of response to her messages so she contacted the police who met with her outside of the Benoit home. Nancy and Chris had two dogs which Holly often looked after and they were roaming about. The police were trying to get access to the property but nobody was responding to calls so Holly climbed over the gate and managed to calm the dogs down before going into the property. Holly was nervous as one can imagine, she knew that things had been quite tense between Nancy and Chris in recent times plus she had seen Nancy upset before when they'd had one of there explosive arguments. 

As Holly walked up the stairs she noticed the terrible smell, the air conditioning in the Benoit home was off for whatever reason but as she approached Daniel's room she was met with the shocking sight of the little seven year old boy on the bed, it was clear from the dried foam on his mouth, nose and the discoloration of his skin that he was sadly deceased. She noticed that there had been a child's bible placed beside him. The room was full of posters and memorabilia of his father, it's unclear if he wanted all of that stuff in there or it was his father being narcissistic wanting his own son to idolize him but whatever the reason, now Holly was devastated to find Daniel dead and realised pretty quickly that chances were, the possibility that Nancy was also deceased. It was very brave of her to have gone into the property because if it had been some sort of break-in or gang related, the perpetrators could still have been in the house but I suppose she may have felt some sort of safety knowing that the police were outside.

As Holly made her way to Nancy's office as she knew that was one of Nancy's favourite room's in the house, she saw Nancy lying lifeless on the floor it was clear that she was deceased and decomposition had set in, her face was a blueish black and her body had become bloated. There was also a bible that had been placed next to her body. Shockingly Nancy had been tied up, she'd had her hands tied behind her back and her feet were tied together. A cord had also been placed around her neck. It was a horrifying discovery as was the situation in which she found Daniel. She wanted to get out of the house as soon as possible and who could blame her, she didn't bother to look for Chris but had a feeling he would be in the basement but she was scared to look. 

Holly ran out of the house shouting to the police officers that she had found Nancy and Daniel deceased but wasn't sure where Chris was. The police then went into the property and sure enough, they found Chris Benoit in his home gym, he had hung himself. According to the police who first discovered him, he had used one of his weight machines by replacing the bar with a cable and looped it around his neck whilst putting as much weight as he could on the machine before letting it go. According to investigators this would have been a very painful way to die. The manner in which Chris took his own life is disputed and Nancy's sister gives a different version of how Chris had died to the one that was made to the public by the police and what was found in Chris's autopsy. She said he had been researching that weekend on how to break someone's neck but no evidence on the Benoit computers reflected this piece of information. She also claimed that there was a suicide note which was also reported not to be accurate. 

(Daniel and Nancy Benoit. Picture credit: wrestlingfigs)

It was clear that Chris had carefully planned how he would take his own life and in his autopsy his neck was determined not to have been broken. The only damage to his neck had been the ligature marks from the pressure of the cable. In Daniel's autopsy they had found that he had been sedated with Xanax and the death was a result of suffocation. Due to the signs of decomposition only just starting to appear when Daniel was found compared to Nancy it was determined that Chris murdered his son after he killed his wife. Another shocking and upsetting fact in this case is that Nancy was not sedated and the manner in which she had been tied up with evidence that he had forced his knee into her back as he pulled on the cable from behind is utterly disturbing. There was no way Nancy could even attempt to protect herself as her hands and feet had been tied. 

Investigators claim that it was highly likely that Nancy was murdered on the Friday night with Daniel's death occurring on the Saturday. Chris took his own life on the Sunday which throws the theory of 'Roid Rage' (a term typically associated with a person who goes insane as a result of taking steroids over a long period of time). On the Benoit family computer, records showed that Chris had been searching online after the murders for a Bible story in which the prophet Elijah raises the son of a widow from the dead. Some people speculate that Chris was trying to find a way to being Daniel back but none of us will ever know what exactly was going through his tortured mind. 

For 3 days Chris Benoit remained in that house with his deceased wife and child and yet more disturbing actions were his messages and phone calls to people. He told people that Nancy and Daniel had food poisoning and that he would arrive later to the shows he was scheduled to perform in. He had missed two shows (a pay-per-view show and a championship match) which was completely out of character for him especially as he was billed to win on the Sunday night, it would have been another big moment in his wrestling career. Chris was a workaholic when it came to wrestling, he'd even wrestled before in the past with a broken neck for months on end before being forced to get proper treatment, he just never wanted to miss a show. He was devoted to wrestling to the point of obsession. He sent people text messages with excuses with the food poisoning story and at one point claiming that he and Nancy were in the hospital with Daniel. On the Sunday he sent two messages to two close friends (Chavo Guerrero and WWE referee Scott Armstrong)) telling them that he left the garage doors doors open and the dogs were secure, it was obvious something was not right but nobody bothered to check. 

An investigation into the mishandling of WWE's response to Chris's strange behaviour as well as mixed information was brought to light. The world of wrestling was put under the microscope and Vince McMahon was questioned about steroids. The company looked bad and it looked like they had ignored red flags, turned a blind eye to steroid abuse and had tried to cover their tracks. Were they responsible for what Chris Benoit did? No, but there is some negligence on their part and lack of care. The death of Eddie Guerrero shook the world of wrestling to it's core and the fact that Eddie, Chris and others who were considered 'smaller' by WWE promoters (and often overlooked in the beginning of their career) felt the pressure to be bigger and resorted to achieve what WWE deemed to be an acceptable weight, strength and look and the only way that could be done was with steroids. It's sad that both men saw their careers flourish more when they were abusing drugs and once you're on this type of road it's hard to come off it, their careers (which they worked so hard for) meant everything to them.

When Eddie Guerrero died it was officially explained away as a heart attack from past steroid abuse when he was involved with another wrestling company. WWE were quick to throw off the blame and tried to declare that Eddie had been steroid-free whilst he was on contract with them. It turned out that he was still using them, not to the extreme but he was still using steroids. When he died one of the first things that was done by his nephew, together with close friend Chris Benoit was to flush the various substances that Eddie was taking, down the toilet. This was a regular thing, why? to protect WWE or whichever wrestling brad they were apart of  and maybe to protect the legacy of the wrestler?, but this has happened time and again with the public being given a different story. 

I will say that in recent years I have loved the fact that WWE have taken on wrestlers with a more realistic body shape, both with the male and female wrestlers and they've been proven to be popular. Did WWE learn from the deaths of the legends who's lives have ended far too soon or the shocking and horrific actions of Chris Benoit, one of their once golden superstars? I see a lot of positive changes with the company but what do you think? I would love to hear other fans perspectives on this. 

As Chris had a reputation for never missing shows, when it was announced that he wouldn't be making an appearance (this was before the shocking details were revealed to the public) the wrestling fan forums ran riot with speculation as to why he wasn't going to be there. On Wikipedia an anonymous entry appeared declaring that Chris Benoit was not going to appear at the shows because he had murdered his wife. It was a horrible thing to have said with no information or facts at that time. This chilling occurrence right before the horrible details were made public sent chills down everyone's spine and to this day some people still talk about this and have conspiracy theories about it. I looked into this and it turned out that this person turned out to be a troll who had history of going on to wrestlers Wikipedia pages and leaving the most horrible and sometimes explicit things. One one wrestler's Wikipedia he had written that the guy was a child abuser and on a female wrestler's Wikipedia he had written that lots of men wanted to have anal sex with her. The fact that this loser had written such a statement about Chris being a murderer just before the news was released to the public, as crazy as it sounds, was just simply a horrible coincidence nothing more. This guy lived online and would sit and make up lies on people's Wikipedia pages, it's pathetic and this time it came back to bite him in the ass big time! He was tracked down and wrote a huge statement online terrified that people would harass him and his family, saying his apologies over and over and begging forgiveness saying he would never do these things again. 

After the horrific deaths of the Benoit family, theories ran riot about what drove Chris to carry out these horrendous actions on his beautiful wife and child. Steroids were constantly brought up as an explanation but according to investigators and the toxicology report, this was not a contributing factor. Chris's Dad Mike along with retired professional wrestler turned neuroscientist, Christopher Nowinski got together and discussed Christopher's theory that Chris may have suffered from severe brain trauma caused by repeated blows to the head during his wrestling days. An examination of Chris's Brain was conducted and it was revealed that his brain was so severely damaged that, in their words ''it resembled the brain of an 85 year old Alzheimer's patient'' 

Chris Benoit's WWE record was deleted and all mention of him was wiped from the WWE website and any upcoming publications. If you were a new fan just discovering WWE for the first time you'd be forgiven for not knowing that Chris Benoit ever existed, WWE have done their best to completely distance the brand from him. Nancy is still celebrated for her contribution to wrestling history. 

Chris Benoit was cremated and his remains given to his family. His father Mike, had tried for many years to explain that his son's actions were due to CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) but like all of us he struggles to understand because there is no way to understand why someone could do what he did. We know he was ill and the studies on his brain proved that but it's a difficult subject to talk about because where do you start? I really believe that his decline began when Eddie passed away and there was a combination of everything all at once. He was in a really bad place and I think Nancy did all she could to help him. What he did to her and his adorable son is unforgivable and I'll never understand that. None of it made any sense and if Eddie had been alive at the time all of that took place he would have been just had horrified as the rest of us. 

Nancy and Daniel were cremated and their ashes were placed in matching starfish urns and given to family to take care of. 

RIP Nancy and Daniel. RIP also to all of the wrestlers we have lost and all involved in the world of wrestling entertainment who have given their all over the years and have died before their time. You all will never be forgotten x

Further Reading & Sources:


This was an incredibly long post to get through so if you have made it to the end, I really appreciate it. As you can probably understand why it took me some time to write about this devastating part of wrestling history but I'm glad I have finally been able to get through it. I will be continuing on with my third instalment in my 'Dark History From the World of Wrestling' series so I hope you will continue to join me for that. Thank you also, for all of the positive feedback and messages about my first post on Miss Elizabeth, it's lovely to see how she is still held in such high regard by a lot of wrestling fans. 

Until next instalment.....please stay safe x

Sid & Nancy: Fatal Love: It Was Never Going To End Well

                                                     (Sid & Nancy. Picture credit: schonmagazine)

*Please be aware that I will be sharing some details in this post that may not be suitable for anyone under the age of 18 or who are sensitive to certain themes involving suicide, self harm, substance misuse. As always, I have tried to be as sensitive with the details whilst stating the facts* 

When it comes to the discussion of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, you'll often hear a mixture of opinions. different opinions about them and their lifestyle and different opinions on how each of them had met their end. Sometimes it's hard to believe that the two people in the picture above were barely 21 years old, they were just kids basically who let the fame, the money and the drugs, go to their head. 

My best friend is a huge Sex Pistols fan and has always adored John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten) and it is through her that I discovered their music years ago. She knows all about the tragic story of Sid Vicious (Simon John Ritchie) and how he was just a confused kid who grew up around drugs due to witnessing his mother's own habit and then being encouraged by her to take them. 

I went to a show of John Lydon's a few years ago and he spoke quite fondly of Sid and how much he missed him. He even encouraged the audience to sing (to the theme of ABBA's 'Fernando') ''There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright FOR SIDNEY. They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, FOR SIDNEY...'' It was a brilliant show and very funny. John spoke of how Nancy Spungen had been trying to make her way around the band members of the Sex Pistols and she started with him, he wasn't interested so she turned her attention to Sid after the other band members kept away from her also. 

Nancy's was from the USA but she went to England because it was her goal to have a member of the Sex Pistols as her boyfriend. Well, she got what she wanted but at what cost? Both Sid and Nancy were from difficult backgrounds and had all sorts of emotional problems themselves, mix that with drugs and you have a disaster on your hands. The real Simon John Ritchie was an insecure, shy boy who became Sid Vicious and it gave him confidence and fame but it all went to his head. I think, to be honest, you could say that about each of the members of the Sex Pistols, they all became a bit big for their boots at that time. People were scared to interview them because nobody knew what they were going to say or do next. They thought they were invincible and they did get away with quite a lot because people at the top were intimidated by them but the public loved them. 

(Sex Pistols. Picture credit: theguardian)

The Sex Pistols were just a flash in the pan but it's incredible what they were able to achieve in such a short space of time. Their songs are classics and still sound great to this day. They are seen as punk royalty and as for John? behind the 'John Lydon' persona, he's a big teddy bear and a really intelligent and caring person. Like Sid, John has always felt the need to put on 'the act' so not a lot of people get to see the real him but I highly recommend that you visit one of his shows, preferably when he is doing a talk. I have a lot of respect for John and how he took care of his wife who sadly passed away earlier this year. He was devoted to his wife and worshiped the ground she walked on. At his show, he shed tears talking about her. He really does wear his heart on his sleeve. 

Anyway, back to what this post is all about, I am focusing on Sid and Nancy and their tragic short time together and what really happened? Well, as I mentioned before, Sid (Simon John Ritchie - born on the 10th of May 1957 in Lewisham, London) and Nancy (Nancy Laura Spungen - born on the 27th of February 1958) were both from difficult backgrounds and were not quite sure where they fit in. Nancy had been through a lot of depression as a child and had been diagnosed with schizophrenia at a young age. There had also been previous suicide attempts and various emotional outbursts. Nancy struggled with life and every day was a challenge but in music she found some sort of saviour, especially punk music that was all the rage in London in the mid 70s. 

London was the place to be in the 70s and early 80s with the punk movement and then the New Romantics. It was all about the music, unique fashion and being yourself. Everyone was encouraged to look as different as possible and it was like the ultimate rebellion against the establishment. Everybody wanted to be in London because that seemed to be where everything was happening. Nancy was obsessed and wanted to run away to London, she dyed her dark hair blonde, wore heavy eyeliner, red lipstick and created her own style. She took off for London in 1976 in search for her dream to come true, to find a sex pistol and somehow that was the answer to everything. When she got there she felt like she'd finally found the place and people where she finally belonged. 

It was the same for Sid Vicious, he'd been a huge David Bowie fan and was quite shy. His mother had bought him some drugs in his early teens (as a birthday present) and he was hooked but at that time the drug use wasn't as heavy as it became. He felt different to everyone else and struggled to fit in but when he started hanging around various clubs, hearing the punk music and being surrounded by struggling teenagers just like him, he felt he finally belonged. 

Sid (Simon) had changed his style and had a more edgier look, he had plans for his own music career and there was some interest from other bands for him to join them. He also became known for his crazy behaviour at various punk shows, always making some sort of scene. He had been noticed at a Sex Pistols show and as he had 'the right look', he was brought into the band in 1977 after Malcolm McLaren, their manager decided to fire Glen Matlock. 

Whilst in the Sex Pistols, Sid was pretty useless as a band member in all honesty. He couldn't play bass and failed to show up for rehearsal on more than one occasion as his drug and alcohol dependency continued to get worse. Malcolm McLaren insisted that he remain in the band because he loved the drama and chaos that he brought to the band. Malcolm's motto was 'Cash For Chaos' (it's even written on his gravestone at Highgate Cemetery in London). Sid would binge on alcohol and drugs and start fighting, spitting, throwing things and Malcolm loved that for the band's image. 

(Malcolm McLaren. Picture credit: britannica)

It wasn't long though until the mix of strong, rebellious personalities clashed and the band fell apart. Their journey and life as a band was a short one but they managed to make a huge impact and Malcolm McLaren pretty much got what he wanted because it was their image as well as the music that attracted the fans. 

So Nancy and Sid became a couple and both of them lived a very drug and alcohol fueled lifestyle. They'd hang out at various shows, go to friend's parties at squats (a squat is a term used for a vacant building that has been taken over by a certain number of people who choose to live in it despite having no proper permission. Squats were often lit by candles and sleeping bags or mattresses would be placed on the floor to sleep on). When Sid's career with the Sex Pistols had come to an end, the drugs and relationship with Nancy took over. The pair flew to New York and settled in the famous Chelsea Hotel in 1978 in Room 100. The Chelsea Hotel was known for it's history of being home to some of the world's most famous artists, musicians and writers. However by 1978 it had fallen on hard times and most of it was run down with many of it's residents taking drugs. 

(The Chelsea hotel. Picture credit: thirteen)

Nancy and Sid turned their room into an absolute mess and lived on alcohol, drugs and takeaway food. It was a miserable existence. Nancy was now acting as his manger and when they had the strength, Sid would play the odd gig as a solo artist or they would do interviews and photoshoots. Most of the time they would spend in that room, various people would also come and go, including various drug dealers. Sid would be so out of it at times that when people would visit they would later say that he was totally out of it and didn't even realise that they were there. Sometimes there would be money and drugs lying around the room, things were getting worse and it was only a matter of time before something had to give and unfortunately it ended up with Nancy being found dead in the bathroom on the 12th of October, 1978, slumped between the toilet and the sink. Nancy was just 20 years old. She had been fatally stabbed and all the fingers were pointing at Sid as the one who was responsible. 

(Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. Picture credit: metro)

Witnesses who had been in the room just hours before had claimed that Sid had been really out of it and in no fit state to have stabbed anyone. The knife that had been used did belong to Sid and had been purchased by Nancy as a gift for him just weeks earlier (they both had an obsession with knives). With no witnesses to say otherwise, Sid was arrested for Nancy's murder despite the fact that various people (including drug dealers) were known to come in and out of their room, sometimes stealing money and their belongings. There was rumours that they owed money to a certain drug dealer and that it was all a set up to frame Sid. Some people believe it was a robbery gone wrong with someone getting into the room to steal money and Nancy trying to defend herself whilst Sid was passed out from drugs. A lot of people believe that Sid was unfairly framed for Nancy's murder and that the cops didn't take it seriously because the pair were well-known drug users. 

At first, in a daze and in shock, Sid blamed himself and said he had killed Nancy but he soon changed his statement. Seeing the footage of Sid being taken out of the Chelsea Hotel in handcuffs, you can clearly see the bolt of reality that hit him. He was in a state of shock and disbelief, sometimes on heroin people can believe that they are invincible and living in a dream world. This was cold, harsh reality and he was facing a long jail term which his mother knew he wouldn't be able to cope with. Sid could be brash, put an act on and act the big man when he was high, but in all reality he was just a scared young boy who was in way over his head and some people did take advantage of him. 

(Sid Vicious. Picture credit: salon)

Whilst Sid was in custody, various people were trying to raise the funds to get him out on bail. He was released on the 17th of Oct. Whilst in custody he was detoxing and was taking methadone. Just days after his release he attempted to take his own life by cutting his wrist and overdosing on methadone. His mother and Malcolm McLaren were present and able to get help. Sid wasn't happy with this as he claimed that he wanted to die to be with Nancy and it had all been part of his side of a suicide pact. 

There's all sorts of stories about Sid's time in New York after Nancy's murder and people who claim to have spoken to him. Apparently there is a recording on tape of him confessing to accidentally killing Nancy. He reportedly said that he and Nancy had been playing around with a knife when she got caught in the stomach. It looked to be a small cut and they didn't think anything of it because they were so out of it. He apparently left the room at some point and came back to find that Nancy had bled to death. 

The shock of Nancy's death didn't seem to sober Sid up because he was still going out and causing trouble, getting drunk and getting high. He'd even started a relationship with a woman named Michelle Robinson. This wasn't a good look for him so quickly after Nancy's death. It was no surprise when he was arrested again and sent right back to jail. His whole attitude and behaviour came across as uncaring and arrogant but away from the cameras, Nancy's mother claimed to have received a letter from Sid declaring his undying love for Nancy and that he missed and loved her. 

He reportedly wrote: ''Her pain was just too much to bear because, you see, I felt Nancy's pain as if it were my own, worse even....I love her with such passion. Every day is agony without her. I know now it is possible to die from a broken heart. Because when you love someone as much as we love each other. They become fundamental to your existence. So I will die soon even if I don't kill myself. I guess you could say that I'm pining for her. I could live without food or water longer than I'm going to survive without Nancy....she was too beautiful for this world.''

Sid spent seven weeks in jail and was forced to undergo a detox program. When he was released his mother came to collect him and arranged a bag of heroin for him. Various versions of events have been shared over the years but what actually happened was that his mother knew how much he suffered in prison. Apparently Sid had been bullied and beaten, he knew that there was a huge possibility that he was going to end up in prison for the rest of his life for Nancy's murder and he could not cope with that. His mother believed that she did the right thing by saving her son from the misery of a lifetime behind bars. Apparently when he was passed out high on heroin she injected some more into one of his veins. Sid was declared dead of a heroin overdose on the 2nd of February 1979, he was aged just 21. 

Sid was cremated and his mother secretly took his ashes to Nancy's grave site at King David Memorial Park in Pennsylvania where she scattered them on Nancy's grave. Some people thought this was in poor taste and others thought that it was fitting that they were together again. 

(Nancy's grave. Picture credit: findagrave)

Due to the death of Sid, who was due to go on trial for Nancy's murder, the case was closed. 

Various other people have been suspected of killing Nancy over the years but all have denied it and some have even passed away. An actor and stand-up comic by the name of Rockets Redglare fell under suspicion as he reportedly delivered drugs to Nancy and Sid's hotel room on a number of occasions, including that night but he denied it right up until his death in 2001. 

With so many unsavory characters coming in and out of that room at all hours of the day and night and no security cameras in the lobby back then, there's no way of ever finding out who else (if anyone) was really there that night. Decades have gone by since Nancy died and the chances are that anyone who did visit that room are no longer with us and take any secrets they may have, to the grave. It could just be that Sid and Nancy were high on drugs and played around too rough with the knife and an accident happened. Sid passed out on the bed and Nancy crawled to the bathroom. Her injury was a cut to the abdomen and maybe she went to the bathroom (still out of it on drugs) to try and sort herself out with some towels or something and just slumped down. If Sid was guilty it's clear to see that it wasn't an intentional killing, it was a tragic and stupid mistake that should never have happened but the way that they both lived, it was only a matter of time before something happened. 

The thing about Sid and Nancy and old school stars like them is that back then, musicians were more for real. They actually lived that life and a lot of them didn't make it. Some were lucky and thankfully are still with us today. But there was nothing glamorous about it and I think that sometimes some people forget that, especially younger people or up and coming artists who fancy being a chip off the old block. It's not games and it's not fun. Sid was famous for being violent, a drug user who was all the worst things that you could imagine a famous person to be. Could you imagine asking him for a selfie or an autograph? You wouldn't know if you were going to get a punch or a spit on the face. Deep down he was just a kid caught up in everything but he got lost in the character of Sid Vicious and felt that he had to constantly make a show wherever he went. 

In the end Sid and Nancy as glamourised as we like to paint them now, ended up living in a run-down hotel room with drug dealers as pals and died in horrible circumstances before either of them reached the age of 22. It's heartbreaking and really shows the downward spiral of drugs and how important it is to keep your feet on the ground where fame is concerned. Adding heroin into everything just further fueled Sid's feelings of being invincible and that's why I mention that true moment when he was led outside of the hotel in handcuffs, reality set in and you could see that deep down he was just a frightened kid but soon had to switch the act back on for the cameras. 

Some people can become famous to the point that they get lost in their own reality and you pair drugs and huge ego into the mix and you have an absolute bonfire. 

What do I think of Sid and Nancy? well. Nancy was troubled and looking for something and she thought she had found it in Sid. He thought he had found his soulmate in her. There's no doubt that they loved each other but there was also a toxic element to their relationship. Things could get violent and Nancy was very jealous of other girls approaching Sid, she would order Sid to punch girls in the face as an act of proving his love and devotion to her. Sid was known to punch Nancy as vice versa. Two troubled young people lost in life, coming together and it was a disaster, it was never going to end well. Malcolm McLaren (who has since passed away himself) was part of the problem, he saw Sid as the poster boy for the band that he wanted to create and encouraged the violence. The other band members themselves have been accused of using Sid as a sort of attraction for the band's rough image. 

(Nancy and Sid. Picture credit: steveemberton)

Do I think that Sid killed Nancy? it's a really difficult question to answer because they were both in the room at the same time, the knife that belonged to Sid had been used and the story he had reportedly told a friend about them playing around with the knife and him passing out, sounded plausible. On the other hand, everyone knew they had that room and that money was in there. People were always coming back and forth and drug dealers were always around. It would have been interesting to see this case being explored in a courtroom, maybe we could have found answers from that? I guess after so many years we may never know. 

Since Nancy's death the Chelsea Hotel has undergone so many transformations and the room (Room 100) no longer exists. A lot of people are still fascinated with this case today and some people believe the case should be re-opened and re-investigated but I don't know if that would bring any answers. I don't think the police kept any of the evidence for proper DNA testing and there is no way, obviously that they can go back over the room where Nancy died. 

RIP Nancy & Sid. 

Further Reading & Sources:

- Sid Vicious | Sex Pistols Website

- Sid Vicious: Article | The Independent

- Nancy Spungen: Article | Rolling Stone

- Sid Vicious: Article | The Guardian

- Sid Vicious: Article | History Channel

- Sid Vicious: Article | Metro

- Sid Vicious | Wikipedia

- Nancy Spungen: Article | Daily Mail

- Nancy Spungen: Article | Far Out Magazine

- Nancy Spungen: Article | NY Mag

- Nancy Spungen | Wikipedia

- Sex Pistols | Wikipedia

- Malcolm McLaren | Wikipedia

- Malcolm McLaren: Article | New York Times

- Hotel Chelsea | Official Website

- Hotel Chelsea | Wikipedia

- Sid Vicious: The Final 24 | Documentary

- And I Don't Want To Live This Life: A Mother's Story of Her Daughter's Murder | Book by Deborah Spungen

- Sid Vicious: No One is Innocent | Book by Alan Parker 

Have you ever seen the Sid & Nancy movie? You can find it here on YouTube 


What are your thoughts on Sid and Nancy? Do you believe that Sid killed Nancy or do you have another theory? Please leave your comments below or contact me via email: jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com or message me on socials: Caledonian Kitty

I'll be taking a little break this coming week because it's my birthday on November 5th but I will be back soon with more true crime content. 

I hope you will join me in the next post, take care until next time...