Murdered By Her Own Parents For Refusing To Marry Her Cousin

(Shafilea Ahmed. Picture credits: bbc)

*Please be aware that I will be sharing some very disturbing details in this post. I will, as always, aim to be as sensitive with the details as possible without taking away from the facts of the case*

This heartbreaking story is one that many of you from outside the UK might not be familiar with, the shocking murder of 17 year old Shafilea Ahmed at the hands of her own parents. It truly is the stuff of nightmares when the very people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, protect you and keep you safe, end up being the very people to harm you in the worst way possible and take your life all because you refused to marry your own cousin. 

It's a difficult story to understand, how a beautiful young and talented girl who had her whole life ahead of her (and dreams of becoming a lawyer) could have her life so cruelly taken. It will be a difficult story to tell but I owe to Shafilea to tell her story so let's get through it. 

Shafilea Iftikhar Ahmed was born on the 14th of July 1986 in Bradford, England to Pakistani parents, Iftikhar and Farzana. Iftikhar worked as a taxi driver and had previously lived quite a western lifestyle before deciding that he wanted to embrace Islam fully again with his wife Farzana. His background is quite complicated to explain and I want the focus to be on Shafilea so I'm moving forward to were Iftikhar and Farzana are now fully embracing their Muslim life and have a beautiful new baby daughter. 

Shafilea was everything a parent could have hoped for in a child, beautiful, smart, very bubbly and was academically gifted. She had four other siblings, two sisters and two brothers. The trouble for her parents was that Shafilea was seen as a bit of a rebel, she had dreams of becoming a lawyer and in their eyes she was not following the Muslim lifestyle as they expected her to. As well as having a taste for more western things that her friends were into, Shafilea or 'Shaf' as her friends called her, started wearing jeans and t-shirts which her parents were furious about because they said that they were too 'tight fitting'. The type of dress for a Muslim woman and girl is quite loose material where none of the skin or outline of the body is shown. Shafilea was struggling with the rules of the religion and wanted to be like the girls at school. As a result of her actions and behaviour (basically being a normal teenage girl in western standards) she was subjected to horrendous abuse by her parents. Both of them would beat her and it was not uncommon for Shafilea to be seen at school with swollen cut lips and bruises on her skin.

She had been taken to Pakistan previously where her parents tried to force an arranged marriage upon her, despite the pressure she refused and even attempted suicide by drinking bleach. She managed to survive the suicide attempt but there was some considerable damage to her throat that she ended up needing regular treatment for back in the UK. When later questioned about this suicide attempt, her parents claimed that Shafilea had simply made a mistake during a powercut and mistook the bleach for mouthwash. 

She told UK authorities previously about what had been going on and she was terrified because her parents had constantly threatened to send her back to Pakistan to be married to her cousin, she knew they were furious with her for refusing to do as they ordered and they also felt embarrassed by her suicide attempt, in their minds she brought shame on the family. Shafilea didn't want any of it, she wanted to just be a normal teenage girl and work towards becoming a lawyer. After the incident with the bleach, Shafilea was struggling because of the damage to her throat, because she had been ill and lost a lot of weight, the cousin (who was in his 20's ended up refusing to marry her), this added more rage to the parents who decided to bring her back to the UK for hospital treatment. Shafilea spent her last birthday, her 17th, in hospital. She was terrified anticipating what the punishment was going to be for refusing to marry her cousin and attempting to commit suicide and then the cousin refusing to marry her in the end because of her falling ill due to the damage the bleach had caused. 

Back in the UK everything was tense and she was taken to the hospital, eventually she was released and was well enough to continue her studies towards her dream of becoming a lawyer. She enrolled at a local college and had started a job in an office. She also got back in touch with all of her school friends and there was a boy that she had a very close relationship with previously and they had began communicating again. 

I wish I could say that things were starting to look more positive for Shafilea but sadly that's not the case. Her parents had been planning her murder for some time and they waited until she was out of the hospital and realising that with her joining this new college and being back in touch with new friends, she was still rebelling against their rules. Her parents tricked her into thinking that nothing bad would happen to her and on the 11th of September 2003, he mother offered to pick her up from work. Everything was fine until her mother saw what Shafilea was wearing, apparently all hell broke loose because she was wearing jeans, a hoodied top and a t-shirt. Shafilea tried to argue her case that she saw nothing wrong with what she was wearing because her body was completely covered but the pair could never see eye to eye and when they went home, the arguing continued. When they got into the house, Shafilea decided to go into the livingroom and watch some TV.

Whilst Shafilea was on the sofa, her parents were searching her bag and found money that she had been saving which was her own money she had made from her work. The arguing started back up again about the clothes, the money and the lifestyle and this is the point where things take an even more horrific turn. I have included a segment here from the Independent newspaper where her sister was quoted as saying at her parents trial (please be aware that the details here are very disturbing):

Iftikhar was arguing with Shafilea in the livingroom with her siblings watching on. Suddenly her mother said ''Just finish it here''

''They both started hitting her, she was scared as usual. I can't remember which one grabbed the bag, just a plastic bag , which they put in her mouth and put their hands over her - both of them.'' (Shafilea was on the sofa whilst this was happening)

(Her father held her legs down with his legs as Shafilea struggled and her sister, Alesha said that she noticed that Shafilea's eyes were opened wide with fear and that during all of this she had actually urinated. They both held her down and eventually she stopped struggling) ''That was it, as if she was gone.''

Alesha also said that her parents kept their hands on Shafilea for a few minutes afterwards to make sure that she was dead. Her 'father' if you could even call him that, then coldly pulled Shafilea off of the sofa and onto the floor where he punched her in the stomach and then removed her body from the room. 

Her siblings watched the whole horrific scene and all her 13 year old brother could say was ''She deserved it.''

Alesha told the courtroom that she also witnessed her parents getting bed sheets, trash bags and tape together before going into the garage, the next thing she remembers is the car driving off and then returning some time later. 

The evil parents told their other children to tell anyone who asks where Shafilea is, that she ran away. 

In another cold action, Shafilea's mother actually slept in her deceased daughter's bed that night. Alesha couldn't bare the trauma of what had happened and ended up breaking down and telling friends at school but swore them to secrecy. Iftikhar and Farzana had driven their daughter's deceased remains all the way to Cumbria where they just dumped her body at a beauty spot. It took months for Shafilea's body to be discovered and during this time her parents and siblings told anyone who asked about her that she had simply ran away. Shafilea's friends and teachers didn't believe this to be the case, it was a difficult situation because they had no proof and they didn't want to be seen as racist by pointing the finger at the parents. 

Shafilea's body was finally found in February of 2004 and her remains were badly decomposed to the point that she had to be identified by her dental records. Some items that she was wearing, including a ring, was identified by her parents as belonging to her. Both Iftikhar and Farzana played the part of the grieving parents who appealed for information about what happened to their daughter. Everyone was suspicious of them from day one, even the police but there was no solid evidence due to how badly decomposed Shafilea's remains were. All the police and everyone had was what Shafilea had told them before she went missing, the horrific history of abuse by her parents. Rumours continued to go around and surprisingly nothing much was done until 2010 when in a bizarre turn of events, Shafilea's sister Alesha had been arrested for trying to stage a robbery at her parents house. When she arrived at the police station she just blurted out that her parents had murdered her sister. 

Iftikhar and Farzana were finally arrested and stood trial in May 2012, they were found guilty and sentenced on the 3rd of August 2012 to life imprisonment with a minimum of 25 years each. 

The judge (Mr Justice Roderick Evans) made his final remarks at their sentencing some of which are as follows: 

''The jury has found you both guilty of the murder of your daughter Shafilea. She was 17 years of age when you killed her. What was it that brought you two – her parents, the people who had given her life – to the point of killing her? 

''You, Iftikhar Ahmed, came to the United Kingdom when you were 10 years of age and you are fully familiar with western culture. Indeed, you married a Danish woman and had a son by her and lived, for some time, in Denmark. Then, in 1985, you returned to Pakistan and, while you were there, you married Farzana Ahmed, your first cousin. She lived in your home village in rural Pakistan. She had no experience of western culture but in 1986 you both came to England and settled here. You have lived here for the last 25 years. When you arrived here you, Farzana Ahmed, were pregnant with Shafilea. In due course, you had four other children, three daughters, Alesha, Mevish and X and a son, Junyad. 

''You chose to bring up your family in Warrington but, although you lived in Warrington, your social and cultural attitudes were those of rural Pakistan and it was those which you imposed upon your children. Shafilea was a determined, able and ambitious girl who wanted to live a life which was normal in the country and in the town in which you had chosen to live and bring up your children. However, you could not tolerate the life that Shafilea wanted to live. You wanted your family to live in Pakistan in Warrington. Although she went to local schools, you objected to her socialising with girls from what has been referred to as “the white community”. You objected to her wearing western clothes and you objected to her having contact with boys. 

''She was being squeezed between two cultures, the culture and way of life that she saw around her and wanted to embrace and the culture and way of life you wanted to impose upon her. A desire that she understood and appreciated the cultural heritage from which she came is perfectly understandable but an expectation that she live in a sealed cultural environment separate from the culture of the country in which she lived was unrealistic, destructive and cruel. The conflict between you and her increased in the last year of her life and you tried to impose your cultural values and attitudes on her by intimidation, bullying and the use of physical violence. She tried to escape and she was determined to do so because she knew what lay in store for her at your hands – being taken to Pakistan to be “sorted out” i.e. having her westernised ideas removed – and to be married off. 

''She ran away in February 2003 but you recaptured her, dragged her off the street and forced her into your car and, a week later, she was drugged and taken to Pakistan. I have no doubt that your intention was that she should remain in Pakistan and be married there. There came a time in Pakistan when she realised what her immediate future was going to be; she self‐harmed by drinking bleach in order to frustrate your plans. She seriously injured herself and her condition deteriorated to such an extent after she had been left in Pakistan that she was no longer wanted as a bride. She was brought back to the United Kingdom where she received prolonged hospital treatment. On her discharge from hospital, even in her weakened condition, she continued to want freedom and to live the life she wanted for herself.

''On the evening of 11th September 2003, you berated her for her behaviour and, in temper and frustration, you two suffocated her. It was you, Farzana Ahmed, who said to your husband “finish it here”. While I accept that there was no pre‐existing plan to kill Shafilea that night, that remark together with the evidence relating to whether or not Shafilea survived the drinking of bleach drives me to the conclusion that you two had previously discussed the way that you might ultimately resolve the problem which Shafilea presented for you. 

''Your problem was that, in what you referred to as your “community”, Shafilea’s conduct was bringing shame upon you and your concern about being shamed in your community was greater than your love of you child. In order to rid yourselves of that problem, you killed Shafilea by suffocating her in the presence of your other four children. 

''I express no concluded view on whether Junyad played any part in the killing of his sister but I have no doubt that, as the result of the distorted upbringing and values to which you subjected him, he told his surviving sisters, within minutes of them seeing Shafilea murdered by you, that Shafilea deserved it. Thereafter, you got rid of her body by dumping it or having it dumped in undergrowth on a riverbank in Cumbria and you told your children what to tell anybody who asked about the disappearance of Shafilea.

'' You killed one daughter, but you have blighted the lives of your remaining children. Alesha escaped but she is unlikely to be able to avoid the legacy of her upbringing. Mevish, after a period of trying to live independently, was recaptured and brought home and has since become compliant with your wishes. She came to court and was placed in the sad position of having to deny her own words in order to try to help the parents whom she, and no doubt all your surviving children, still care for. X was seven when she saw Shafilea killed and it is difficult to say what effect that has had upon her or will have upon her in the future. However, there is no difficulty in seeing the life which would have lain ahead of her, had she returned to live with you''

Alesha was placed in witness protection for life because of her part in bringing down her parents and getting justice finally for Shafilea. Due to Iftihkar being from a large family and very much an important figure to the Ahmed family, there was a high chance that Alesha would be at risk for exposing the truth so her name, location and basically her life has changed for her own protection. 

(Iftikhar & Farzana Ahmed. Picture credits: nationalpost)

There has always been suspicion that other family members helped cover up Shafilea's murder and may also have been involved in the disposal of her body but the police have so far been unable to gather any evidence. 

This was a heartbreaking and very disturbing case and one that has never left the public's consciousness. Shafilea had her whole life ahead of her and it was a very promising and bright future that she would have had if she'd been able to live her life the way she wanted to and continue working towards her dream. Her only crime was being a typical teenage girl in western standards and she wasn't causing anyone any harm. She was just a 17 year old girl who refused to marry her cousin who was in his 20s. She knew that if she had to marry him and live in Pakistan that any tiny bit of freedom and happiness that she did have in the UK would be snatched away. Shafilea was the happiest when she was with her friends, she was able to be herself and feel accepted but when she went home it was a place of hell for her and it's heartbreaking to know of how she suffered. She only had 17 years on this earth and a lot of it was very difficult but there were moments when she shone and her friends and teachers remember her fondly, she certainly left people with some lovely memories of her. 

A close friend of Shafilea's (Melissa Powner) who had been at the trial and had been waiting along with her other friends to see justice finally done, read a statement after the murderers were sentenced:

''We have waited for this day for many years. We have watched as her killers roamed free, yet today we heard those important words - words that have finally brought our friend the justice she deserves. 

Shafilea was a caring, high-spirited and brave young lady who even in her toughest times always strived to remain positive and hopeful that one day she too would be able to able to live the peaceful and happy life that she deserved''. 

RIP Shafilea, you will never be forgotten. 

Further reading & sources: 

Shafilea Ahmed: Article | BBC News

Iftikhar & Farzana Ahmed: Article | National Post

Murder of Shafilea Ahmed | Wikipedia

Iftikhar & Farzana Ahmed: Article | BBC News

Shafilea Ahmed: Article | The Guardian

Shafilea Ahmed | West Yorkshire Police

Shafilea Ahmed: Article | Manchester Evening News

Iftikhar & Farzana Ahmed: Judge's Sentencing Remarks | Judiciary UK

Special shout out as always to Newspapers.com who's incredible library of past and present newspaper articles have been invaluable to me during my research in this case and previous cases. I highly recommend checking the site out as they have a extraordinary range of articles dating back decades right up until the present day from all over the world. 

I appreciate how difficult this post was to get through so if you have made it to this point I thank you. If you would like to share your thoughts on this case, please do so below in the comments section or email me at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com 

Please stay safe until next time and I hope to see you elsewhere on my Socials x

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