''Die With Respect, Die With A Degree of Dignity'' | Jim Jones & The Jonestown Massacre: Before, During & The Aftermath

(Jim Jones. Picture credit: rewirenewsgroup)

*Please be aware that I will be talking about some very disturbing details in this post, especially about murder-suicide, substance abuse, child abuse, neglect and gun violence. As always, I try my best to be as sensitive with the facts without taking away any of the details of the case*

It's hard to believe that it is nearly 47 years since the shocking and disturbing events of that horrific day of the 18th of November 1978, in which over 900 adults and children were forced to take their own lives. The setting in which this nightmare occurred was supposed to have been a place of peace and paradise in amongst the beautiful greenery and land in Guyana. 

A beautiful piece of land that well meaning and kind-hearted people sacrificed their lives, money, material possessions and previous lives for, in order to commit themselves to a community that was supposed to be about people from all backgrounds and statuses, joining together and being a family as one. This community that was built was called 'Jonestown'. 

Jim Jones was the leader of this community which was basically a cult but in the very beginning it was like the stuff of dreams. Jim Jones was a man who had come up from hard times and had suffered poverty and neglect in his childhood, he had also witnessed a lot of racism and some of the injustices that African-American people had to endure. He was a strange child and there were some red flags in his behaviour but there was also an air of intelligence about him and he payed attention to what went on around him as well as the behaviours of others. 

There was an incident in his childhood where he brought a friend home who was an African-American boy and his father behaved in an ignorant and racist manner, not allowing the young boy to enter the house. Jim immediately took the boy's side and refused to go into the house if his friend was not welcomed. The relationship between Jim and his father was never a close one after that, not that they had a wonderful relationship before. 

Feeling somewhat alone and isolated during his childhood he began to feel an empathy with anyone considered to be an outsider. He decided that he wanted to help people from all backgrounds and unite as many people as he could. So in the beginning there was a positive message there with Jim Jones, at that point his heart was in the right place, he may not have been a 100% angel in everything he did at that point in his life but he did have this need to help and unite people. 

In his personal life he became devoted to his religion and eventually went on to create and build his own family that was nicknamed a 'rainbow family' because of the mixed ethnicities. It was important for Jim Jones to help others to see that everyone could get along and that they had more in common than what divided them. He threw himself into the church more and more and developed his own following he called 'The People's Temple'.

At first Jim had faced a lot of backlash and criticism because in those days there was a a lot of narrow minded people who did not want people from different backgrounds to mix, they wanted a divide. Jim's vision was to unite and through his following he was able to create something positive in the beginning. But like a lot of these types of situations, it wasn't long before all of the admiration, praise and popularity went to Jim's head and he began to believe that he himself was of a higher power. It went from him preaching at his services about everyone joining together and the word of the Bible to him trying to convince his followers that he could cure people of their illnesses and ailments. 

As his following grew, so did his ego and the people who followed him hung on his every word. At his healing services he would invite someone up to the stage and perform a 'miracle' on them to which the rest of the congregation would be in tears of joy, cheering, excited and happy at the belief that this was actually happening when the whole thing had actually been a 'performance'. It had been planned out and set up previously. 

As well as giving their savings and earnings to the church, people practically devoted their lives to Jim Jones and as time went on, more and more strange and humiliating rituals were becoming all part of the course. If Jim felt that someone had done something wrong or committed a sin, he would humiliate them, he'd call them out, force them to take off all their clothes and stand naked whilst encouraging the congregation to make remarks about the person's private parts. He began having sex with the men as well as some of the women and had developed a dependency on drugs. 

At one of his services he threw a bible across the room declaring that there was no heaven above and they should create a heaven on earth.

''We're going to have to get our heads out of the sky and realize that if we want heaven, we'll have to build it here, on earth, for ourselves.'' - Jim Jones.

The madness took an even sinister turn when he played a disturbing trick on his followers, encouraging them to have a drink. As soon as everyone had finished drinking he told them that he had just given them poison to which a panic ensued. He later laughed and said that he was just testing their loyalty to him and that the drinks were fine. 

With the humiliation rituals, the blasphemy, the promiscuity and psychological games, you'd think that it would be enough for his followers to come to their senses and decide that maybe being a member of The People's Temple was not such a good idea after all. But, these people were too far gone when it came to Jim, they were too devoted and had spent a long time following him. He told them once:


''If you see me as your father, I will be your father.'' - Jim Jones. 


In my opinion, I don't think that it was just all about following Jim for these people to continue to stay with him, I think it was also about the people that they had developed a bond with. In cults it's not just about the attachment to the leader of the group, members often form very strong bonds with each other. This can also be dangerous because you may have an individual who is not feeling comfortable in the cult and wants to leave but they stay because they don't want to leave their friends, it's a very complicated position to be in. 

Jim knew that the more he encouraged his followers to bring their nearest and dearest to the church, the more of a hold he would have on the people. This was later demonstrated when some of his followers tried to defect and he would blackmail them by telling them they'd never see a particular relative (who had also joined the cult) again if they chose to leave. 

A lot of the members were not happy in their personal lives and that is what drove them to the church in the first place so to Jim and the other followers of The People's Temple it was like a family to them and it made it very difficult to leave. Times were extremely hard and everyone just wanted a place where everyone could get along. Jim Jones came up with a vision to have their own community somewhere away from prying eyes in complete privacy away from the government and everything else. His followers were excited about this and voluntarily went along. 

Jim wasn't just about creating a place of heaven on earth for his followers, he was quite devious because he knew that rumours had been going around about him, his services, his fake healings and exploitation of his followers and he knew that time was running out, he had to get his followers away before a planned article was set to be made public. Apparently a bunch of former members had gotten together and went to the media and spilled the beans on everything Jim had been doing. He was going to be shut down and possibly jailed for what he had been doing especially the amount of money that he had been obtaining from these vulnerable people. 

As well as a bit of a negative reputation, Jim did have connections in high places due to his 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours' routine with some politicians. Jim would use his followers to help make a certain public figure appear to be more popular or get more votes, he could pack out a town hall with his followers to help aid a hopeful candidate. These same people who he'd done favours for and vice versa, had written letters on his behalf to request that the damning article be destroyed and never be viewed by the public. They described Jim as a good man who just wanted to help people. One wonders if they actually believed that or that they were just worried that if the truth got out about Jim, people would start digging and a trail would lead back to them?

The article was released but Jim had already jumped ship as it were, by that point and took his followers with him to Guyana. Jim couldn't wait to get away for various reasons, one of them mainly to try and save his own skin as well as having the ultimate control over his followers. The good intentioned (with almost like a childlike innocence) followers were over the moon to finally be in Jonestown, a place they dreamed about and talked about for so long, a united community at last away from negativity, violence and a cruel world, this was to be their paradise. Jim made it clear form day one who was running the show and Jonestown (exact name: The Peoples Temple Agricultural Project) was just a glorified prison but in the beginning these poor people couldn't see it. In amongst this beautiful part of the world there was an evil brewing and it was all going to come to a devastating end that nobody could have foreseen. 

(Jim Jones. Picture credit: yahoo)

Just like at a reception desk in a prison, they handed over what was left of their old lives, passports, private documents, jewelry etc to guards and were searched before being able to explore their new home. 

Jim Jones tried to display Jonestown as as place of paradise and although it was beautiful, the living was very hard, it was very hot at times and it was difficult for crops to grow so they had to eat a lot of rice and watery milk. A lot of hard work went into maintaining everything and there was no time for sleep-ins, members would be up at 6 am every day and there was no flushing toilets or proper hot showers so cold showers were the only option. Each member had to do their part in the community and they had very little sleep, it was very exhausting and not very comfortable at times. There was strict rules to follow and as Jim Jones continued to grow more paranoid and more controlling, his followers began to suffer more and more. Punishments for the least disobedience would occur and there was nowhere for anyone to run, you couldn't leave without getting on a little plane which was guarded, they were in the middle of nowhere and that's exactly how Jim wanted it. If anyone was to fall out of line in Jim's eyes, they would be beaten, drugged and sent to an area called 'The Extra Care Unit' where they would be kept until Jim saw it fit for them to return which could take weeks. Whatever went on at this 'Extra Care Unit' members would later return traumatised.

Jim had armed guards and watchers all over the place, he had speakers that would blast out his voice at all hours of the night and he would often mumble nonsense because of all the drugs he was taking. He'd encourage everyone to spy on each other and be vocal if they saw someone committing a sin or trying to leave. 

The misery that people were forced to endure at Jonestown was a situation in which they lived under a veil of fear and strict orders, it was almost as if people had just accepted the fact that this was how it had to be and tried to convince themselves that they were happy. As doped up as he was for the majority of the time, Jim was an intelligent man and could clearly see that his followers were not happy with the situation. Even though he knew there was nowhere for them to escape to, he did still crave their admiration and ultimate devotion so he would try to convince them that the outside world where they originally came from was falling to pieces and that it would be very unsafe for them to return. He would tell them horror stories in an attempt for them to be more grateful that they were there with him, that he was their saviour, basically if it wasn't for him they'd been in danger sort of thing. 

As his drug taking became out of control he wasn't just mumbling his words, at times he was barely able to walk and had to be cared for back at his hut. He had a secret stash of various types of drugs which were discovered later when investigators searched Jonestown after the murders. 

With the drug use and his own narcissism spiralling out of control, his paranoia grew and further misery was forced upon his followers with his regular 'white night' drills. Similar to the cruel 'test' that he had conducted previously with his congregation (instructing them to drink some liquid as a test of loyalty), this time he would tell his followers that the drinks were indeed poison and that they would have to drink or risk being killed. He claimed that Jonestown was being watched by people who wanted to kill them. After 30 minutes of people freaking out thinking they were going to die, he'd then declare that it was a false alarm and just a test.  

Outside of Jonestown, the relatives and friends who had stayed behind had been following the news reports and read the article about Jim Jones and what had been going on in his church. They had been very concerned for quite some time about their family members in Jonestown and the pressure was on the authorities to bring their relatives back and find out what was really going on. Concerns were raised to the congressman Leo Ryan and he was determined to get to the bottom of it all. 

So Leo Ryan together with a small crew of people which included his legislative counsel Jackie Spierer (who wasn't 100% comfortable about going, she had a strange feeling that something bad might happen), Bob Brown, Don Harris and Greg Robinson (who were there to record footage and interview the Jonestown members as well as Jim Jones) all eventually arrived on the 17th of November, 1978 with other members of the press and some concerned relatives. 

When the group arrived they were given a very friendly welcome despite the fact that Jim Jones wasn't exactly happy that they were there, he did have an arrogant confidence about him as if he believed that his followers were completely under his control. He possibly believed that there would be no danger of Leo and the others having any sort of impact on them at that point. Jim's plan to get out of this dilemma of these 'outsiders' encroaching on the little twisted world he helped create was to basically wine and dine Leo and his colleagues, show them around, give them some food and drinks, entertain them with musical performances and most importantly of all, tell them how incredible Jonestown was and that they would never want to leave etc, etc. 

Jim's plan appeared to be working especially towards the evening when Leo and his colleagues were invited to join the members and Jim for a gathering of singing and fun at the Pavilion. As Leo and his colleagues watched on, they saw a sea of smiling, happy faces as everyone appeared to be clapping and singing along to one of the performances. A lady was on the stage singing a rendition of a popular song 'That's the Way of The World' by the group Earth, Wind & Fire. Jonestown looked like a place of real community, heart and joy. Jim Jones was sitting as stern faced as ever, no doubt high but paranoid and concerned at the same time. It was clear that he was feeling under threat and desperate for Leo and his crew to leave. 

Although the truth was already known in the outside world about Jim Jones, it's a wonder what he must have been thinking about how Leo was perceiving everything. On the face of it, it looked like Jim had almost got away with it because at that moment, everyone was acting happy and telling Leo and the others how much Jonestown had changed their lives for the better, it all seemed too good to be true. Leo was on the verge of soon leaving Jonestown and reporting back to the concerned relatives, authorities and public with all of these positive interviews and cheery footage. It all looked like these people were completely happy and built a happy, loving world for themselves and not a worry to be had. It appeared on film as if these people were living in peace and just happy to be left alone. Jim almost got away with it.

Leo was handed the microphone and chose to say a few words that night which was recorded on camera. He thanked everyone for their kind hospitality towards himself and his colleagues and said that he could clearly see for himself how happy everyone was to be there. When Leo said that people had told him that being at Jonestown was the happiest they had ever been in their lives, the crowd went crazy with applause and cheering. Leo would later say that this over the top reaction was somewhat uncomfortable but he couldn't quite put his finger on what was underneath the surface. 

Despite the situation looking like it was going Jim's way and the majority of Jonestown members putting on their best performances of acting like all was amazing, cracks soon appeared and some couldn't keep the act up for much longer. The truth was coming out quick and fast. The very next day, November 18th, people started to tell the truth to Leo and his crew. It's unclear why the members felt comfortable to now reveal the truth of their lives at Jonestown but maybe it was because they could see that Leo, Jackie and their colleagues were very nice people and not out to harm them in the slightest, no matter what story Jim may have told them about outsiders. 

One of the things that also disturbed and upset me about this story was the fact that Jim had actually used his followers fears against them to control them. At that time, there was still a lot of negative tension between white people and African-Amercians and he played on that. He would tell them that outsiders wanted to hunt them down and kill them. Having faced a lot of struggles and racism throughout their lives until they joined the temple, the fear of having to go back to that and the possibility of being murdered just because of the colour of their skin, terrified these poor people greatly and it's heartbreaking that they were manipulated and lied to in such a cold-hearted manner. 

It's unbelievable when you think about it, in the beginning Jim Jones used his church to bring everyone from different backgrounds and ethnicities together, to have everyone standing shoulder to shoulder and had created a diverse family for himself, only to turn it all around and actually destroy whatever last piece of trust the African-American had in the white man at that time. He took what was supposed to be a wonderful idea in an ideal world where everyone was all together and he ended up exploiting, manipulating, blackmailing, sexually assaulting and murdering his followers. Make no mistake about it, these people were murdered, forced to drink poison (in many cases a gun was pointed at them) because he told them they were about to be killed. Even after drinking the poison, the people who appeared to still be breathing, were shot. This wasn't a peaceful, agreed mass suicide, this was forced and people were screaming, crying and begging for their lives and the lives of their children. 

So back to what I was saying about some of the members now feeling comfortable to open up to Leo and his colleagues. Leo was told that various members wanted to escape Jonestown and wanted to leave with them. Leo and his crew did not come to Jonestown with any security with them so it was a huge risk. It was a huge risk to go there in the first place and trying to get away would have been very difficult as we now know how horrific the events were to dramatically unfold as the day went on, on the 18th of November 1978. 

Jim Jones always had bodyguards around him before Jonestown and whilst at Jonestown, as well as a mountain of drugs, there was also quite a number of guns. One wonders if Jim had planned to kill Leo and his colleagues all along or was it the moment that Leo confronted him with the knowledge that various members were now wishing to leave? Whatever the case, Jim knew there was no going back from this. Leo would have returned home to the authorities with the Jonestown defectors and the mountain of evidence both on paper and recorded. Jim knew that they would have the right to come back, rescue the members and throw him in prison for the rest of his life possibly. At that moment he had lost control of everything and he knew it. 

If he couldn't have it his way he chose the most evil, cowardly way out and that was to not only take his own life but to selfishly force others to lose theirs. As disturbing as it sounds, he could have gone somewhere and took his own life and left these innocent people alone to return to their lives and hopefully professional help to undo the years of brainwashing and abuse. But he decided he would destroy everything because he couldn't have it his way. 

The 18th of November 1978 will forever be a dark day in history and when Leo confronted Jim and told him that he would be taking some of the members with him and they would be back to rescue more, the whole situation just went from really bad and disturbing to catastrophic. Jim Jones was not about to let Leo and his colleagues leave and so he ordered his watchmen to kill them. In the middle of arguments and chaos about who was leaving, a man by the name of Don Sly lunged at Leo with a knife but luckily Leo wasn't critically harmed. It was decided then and there that there was no time to waste, Leo, the defectors and his colleagues had to get out of Jonestown asap. 

Once Leo and his group arrived at Port Kaituma airstrip, because they had quite a number of defectors with them now, a second private plane was required so they had to wait for both planes to arrive. When the larger of the two planes arrived, some of the group (which included Larry Layton - a so-called defector but one who raised suspicions) boarded and once everyone was on the plane and almost at the end of the airstrip, Larry Layton produced a gun out of nowhere and began shooting but was disarmed, luckily the other passengers were not killed but had minor injuries. Whilst Leo and others were waiting to board their plane, they suddenly saw a large dump truck pull up at the side of them and realised that it was some of Jim's guards, all armed with shotguns. They were on orders from Jim Jones to kill everyone who tried to leave. 

Before anyone knew what was happening, they began firing. Leo Ryan was shot more than 20 times and sadly died, Bob Brown (NBC Camerman) was shot and killed instantly, Don Harris (NBC Reporter) also died instantly along with Jonestown defector, a woman by the name of Patricia Parks. 

Jackie Spierer along with the other reporters and camera crew as well as concerned relatives were injured and Jackie was lying on the tarmac (as she later said) 'Playing dead', someone walked up to her and shot her at close blank range, it's a miracle that she was able to survive. As Jackie and the others lay there seriously injured, pretending to be dead (they were reportedly left there for 22 hours before help arrived) some of the guys who had been piloting the planes were able to make a get-away in the Cessna plane to Georgetown. 

Surprisingly it was later reported that just before Leo and his colleagues left Jonestown, he spoke to a Temple member about what he was going to say when he returned to the states. According to this member, Leo had expressed that he was only going to pass on positive information about Jonestown and had no plans to take the matter further. He reportedly said that out of the hundreds of people they interviewed, only a handful wanted to leave and he believed that to be down to peer pressure. Leo was alleged to have said ''I'd still say you have a beautiful place here.''

Despite the member passing on this information to Jim Jones (whether you believe it to be true or not) he didn't care for it, to Jim, his kingdom of control had come crashing down. His drug addiction had become out of control and he felt he no longer had control over Jonestown, he was probably paranoid also about who was going to show up next. 

He still ordered the murder of Leo Ryan and his colleagues and over the speakerphone he ordered all members of the Jonestown community to gather at the pavilion immediately. Once everyone was there he told them that they were basically under attack and that at any moment, American authorities would be coming to Jonestown to kill everyone. When it was discovered that Congressman Leo Ryan was dead, the panic and fear was paramount amongst the crowd. Jim told the crowd that the Americans would be coming and they would torture and kill everyone and they had no other choice but to take their own lives.

The crowd objected to this and many people cried, some were in shock and others shouted out questions like ''Is it too late for Russia?'' (At one point Jim was talking about the People's Temple going to Russia to settle if they ever had to move on). Someone else mentioned that the babies deserved to live to which Jim Jones responded that they did deserve to live but they deserved to live in peace. Some members began to turn on each other with devoted followers hanging on Jim's every word and others protesting. 

In a another heartless move, Jim ordered certain members to get some cyanide laced punch (commonly known as Flavor-Aid) and started to fill up syringes and cups. He then ordered them to start with the babies. In my opinion he did this because he knew that if the babies and children were killed first that the parents would definitely go through with the suicide, hopeless at the death of their children. It's horrendous to imagine the sheer hell of all of it. Everything was recorded on audio tape infamously known as ''The death tape'', it makes for a very haunting and harrowing listen. It also further proves the fact that these poor people were murdered, forced to their deaths by an absolute evil madman. It was later discovered that many people had been injected by other people, puncture marks were found on the backs of necks and arms, places that were not reachable to that individual person. Some people were actually held down and had the liquid poured down their throats. As all of this was happening, Jim Jones sat and watched as innocent babies, children, crying mothers, fathers, elderly members, devoted followers of his, began foaming at the mouth, convulsing, dying in extreme pain

As the screaming, crying and suffering endured, Jim Jones sat there on the stage shouting demands and telling people: 

''Die with respect, die with a degree of dignity.'' - Jim Jones

Designated members who's role it was to protect Jim Jones, were walking back and forth with guns, pointing guns at members forcing them to drink the cyanide. Some members were able to run off and were able to survive but a very small number compared to over 900 people who died that day. The number of actual victims jumps around depending on the source, every book I have read it will say 908 or 907, to be as accurate as possible, I will take a leaf out of the news channels reports and say 'over 900', I think that the confusion with the exact number of deceased victims is because hundreds of people went unidentified and remain unidentified to this day, especially a large number of the children. There was also a number of remains that were not discovered until later on. 

Today we are quite censored in our news reports on TV but the back then, the horrendous sight of the deceased bodies of the Jonestown victims were all around that area of land for all to see, so much so that the helicopters filming the scene had to back away in order to get a full picture of the grotesque scene.

Another reason for the helicopters and planes keeping their distance was the horrendous smell of the decomposition. The smell was so powerful because the bodies had been left out in the open in high temperatures for days, some people were stacked on top of each other and close together so it was very horrific, the stench reached almost 300 feet in the air. 

Jim Jones was one of the last people at Jonestown to die and as to be expected, his death was as much a cowardly way out as he had lived his life towards the end. Drugged up to numb the pain and having one of his aid's to take his life by a bullet to his head, he ended his life on the stage of the pavilion near to the chair he always sat on, whilst his devoted followers, who he deeply betrayed in the worst ways imaginable, spent their last moments in agony until they collapsed on the dirt. 

A small number of Jonestown members were able to escape but the majority of Jonetown's inhabitants as well as the animals (cats, dogs and a chimpanzee, said to be the mascot of Jonestown with the nickname 'Mr Muggs') were all shot to death

The horrific way in which the Jonestown members had died was devastating enough but what happened after their deaths was just as equally heartbreaking and disturbing. As well as the deceased members lying out in the open, decomposing with news helicopters flying around all over the place and body stacked on top of body, the way in which they were removed and how the case was dealt with by the wider public was also too difficult to take. 
 
Only 7 autopsies were performed due to the vast number of victims and rate of decomposition. Jim Jones had an autopsy and it revealed a lot of what everyone already knew, he was a chronic drug addict amongst other things. It also revealed that he did not take the cyanide laced drink that he forced about his innocent followers, he made it as easy for himself as he could, like he always did. 

(The horrific scene at Jonestown. Picture credit: theguardian)

The autopsies done on the others proved that cyanide was administered one way or another and that was the cause of death. 

When all of the bodies were finally removed from Jonestown more heartbreak was to follow because sadly a lot of the public had mixed views about the victims. There was a terrible assumption that this was a mass suicide and that these people voluntarily went to their deaths. Jokes and disrespect was everywhere, from some people making jokes about drinking Kool-Aid, to the victims accused of being dumb for trusting a crazy white man and the probably the worst of all was many funeral service companies refused to deal with the victims remains and even cemeteries were refusing burials. The reason for not allowing the victims to be buried in certain cemeteries was this closed-minded belief that the graves would attract the wrong kinds of people who would be trying to hold strange ceremonies or attract other cult followers, this was the excuse they were all giving. 

So these poor people who followed Jim Jones to Jonestown after having to deal with hardship and racism for so long, now in death, as in life, they were disrespected. The survivors didn't fair better either, they were mocked and ridiculed. For some reason there was a real lack of proper sympathy for the deceased and the survivors. 

Eventually the Jonestown victims were found a place of burial thanks to a kind citizen and sadly a lot of the victims were unidentified, especially the children, so everyone was placed in a grave which was unmarked for a long time. Over the years there was some memorial stones but issues with who's name was and wasn't included. Surviving relatives fought for their loved ones names to be included. Eventually a correct memorial was put in place with all of the correct names included. 

Jim Jones was cremated and his ashes were scattered at sea. 

The survivors who were a small number of people, had struggled to return to normal every day life after Jonestown. They still struggle to come to terms with what happened to this day which is completely understandable, I had read about one man who had lost 16 family members at Jonestown. Not only have the survivors had to try and live their lives knowing how close they were to meeting their own demise. They also had to deal with the knowledge of the deaths and suffering of their friends and loved ones whilst trying to come to terms with all the abuse they had suffered before the 18th of November 1978. Jim Jones was like a tornado who came into these people's lives and turned it completely upside down only to leave utter destruction, heartache and anger behind. 

The Jonestown Massacre may have happened before my time and maybe before yours but I don't think there is a person on this planet who hasn't heard about this horrifying story or possibly seen the haunting footage that was captured in Guyana. It is both disturbing and fascinating that due to the fact that Leo Ryan had a small band of news reporters and cameramen with him, we have this chilling document both recorded on audio and captured on film, of this horrific part in America's history. 

I had viewed the chilling footage, heard the disturbing audio before and it's unforgettable when you do view or hear the recordings, As you watch, you cannot quite believe that these well-meaning, individuals who were full of love, hope and joy, were just literally hours away from death. When I think of those people now, the children, the elderly, no matter the age, I think about how these people just wanted the same things that we all want, to live in peace and for everyone to get along in an ideal world.

Some people can't understand how so many people could follow Jim Jones and be taken in by him but they have to remember what it was like back then. There was a lot of tough times especially for certain communities where poverty and racism was rife. It was very much a reality for someone just to be attacked at random or denied their basic human rights because of narrow minded thinking, it was a very difficult and unfair time. To have to struggle for so long and then someone comes around who gives you all of this hope and appears to bring out the best in people, Jim Jones had actually helped people recover from alcohol and drug issues (which is ironic considering that he himself developed such a huge addiction) and had done a lot for people in the beginning. He was a very smart and charismatic man who was an incredible public speaker, it's just a shame that he had this demon within him that just continued to grow. 

I feel so sad for everyone except for Jim Jones in this case, all those people died for nothing, all those lives just gone. These people were good people and they deserved to live and so did the children. The fact that Jim Jones chose to die by the bullet on the stage away from his followers says it all about what he thought of himself in relation to them. He lied when he said that he was one of them because even at the point of death he had to have the upper hand, he had to have the quickest, less painful way to go. He ruled by fear and he knew that his followers originally respected him but were turning against him, he was losing his grip and as he did so he ruled by fear, forcing people to stay, abusing people to control them, having them trapped there.

When Leo Ryan arrived at Jonestown Jim knew that it was the beginning of the end for him but for his followers, Leo must have appeared like a beacon of light, a way to escape. One wonders how it would have all went down if Leo had come to Jonestown with numerous armed individuals, would it have made a difference? or would it have resulted in a mass shoot-out with still innocent lives lost? It's not for me to go back and think about the should haves, could haves of history, Jonestown happened and it can never be changed, those lives are gone and those horrible moments happened and as much as we'd like to change it, we can't but what we can do, is continue to tell the story of these wonderful people, who they were and what they were trying to achieve in a cold, often cruel world. They, for a short time, created a world in which everybody was equal and got along.

I know this was quite a long post to get through and quite a harrowing and disturbing read, if you have made it this far, I really appreciate it. What are your thoughts about Jonestown and Jim Jones? I would love to hear/read what you have to say about it. You can share your thoughts either below in the comments section or in private by email to jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com 

RIP to all those innocent people who lost their lives on the 18th of November 1978 and thinking of all the survivors and the people who lost loved ones. 

I just wanted to add in here that it has recently been revealed (much to the distaste of the survivors and relatives of victims) that the site where Jonestown one stood is being turned into a tourist attraction. Members of the public will be able to go on a tour of the whole site and see for themselves where the murders took place. The organizers say that it's important that this be available to the public because it's important not to erase history, some people think it's macabre and disrespectful to the victims, what are your thoughts? 

Further Reading & Sources: 



Once again, I have to give a shout out to Newspapers.com for being invaluable as always when it comes to researching true crime cases from decades ago. I highly recommend checking them out as they have an incredible library of newspaper articles from all the way back in the day up until present worldwide. 

Thank you, as always for checking out my latest post and I hope that you will join me again for the next one. Until next time, please take care and I hope to see you elsewhere on my socials x

Sleeping With The Stalker | A Twisted & Deadly Obsession: The Jodi Arias & Travis Alexander Story

(Jodi Arias. Picture credit: ksbw)

*Please be aware that I will be sharing some very disturbing details in this post. I will be talking about murder, domestic violence and stalking. I will, as always, aim to be as sensitive as I can be with the details whilst not taking away from the facts of the case* 

It's hard to believe that it's been 16 years since the shocking murder of Travis Alexander occurred at the hands of his ex-lover turned obsessed stalker, Jodi Arias. The trial may be over, Jodi might be behind bars and some time may have passed but still to this day, the case remains a huge talking point, some people are still fascinated about what really happened here. The crime itself, the gruesome way in which Travis was murdered left people in shock and disbelief that one, small built woman could be capable of carrying out such savagery on a grown man.

A lot of us watched the trial, most of us heard the cringe-worthy audios of Jodi and Travis where they discussed sex. We saw the messages, we heard the story, we saw the disturbing autopsy pictures as well as the x-rated photographs that had been taken just before Travis was murdered. We couldn't believe our eyes and ears to what we had seen and heard in this case. 

I have written about Jodi Arias briefly in this blog and I always planned to come back to the case and write about it in a bit more detail, so here I am. I hope you will find this post informative and I hope you will share your thoughts with me either below in the comments or by email (jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com)

So let's start by talking a little bit about Jodi's background. Jodi Ann Arias was born on the 9th of July 1980 in California. She has two sisters and two brothers and according to those around her, Jodi had a pretty normal childhood, nothing alarming to report. Jodi's versions of events differ though and during her trial she tried to paint herself as a victim of child abuse as a youngster. Her parents and the rest of her family have continued to deny this to this day. Jodi claims that her mother would walk around with a wooden spoon and reportedly use it at times to administer punishment. 

The family were extremely close and this was later demonstrated that despite everything that she had done, her family still support her and visit her. 

Jodi was pretty, popular and was a very creative child and this continued right up until she had met Travis Alexander. She was a talented artist and photographer and it was her dream to do that full time. Despite the close relationship with her family and decent amount of friends, Jodi suffered from what people close to her would say as 'little moments where she would freak out with anxiety' and her parents would be contacted and they'd be able to calm her down. These anxious moments would grow worse when she finally moved out of her parents house. The same routine would happen where her mother would go and get her with an aim to trying to calm her down. So no matter how old Jodi was there was always somebody there to pick up the pieces and support her even later on too when the truth about what she had been doing to Travis before and after his death, was known. 

Despite being a very pretty young woman with model like features and artistic talent, Jodi still had a very child-like insecurity and often acted way younger than her years. Never short of attention from the opposite sex, she had relationships and a serious one with a single father who she had actually moved in with for some time. At this time in her life it seemed that she had finally found some security and a solid relationship which helped her to grow up a little bit. The man was older than she was but he treated her with respect and she was an amazing step-mother figure to his son. 

After some time though, this relationship would fizzle out but Jodi was able to demonstrate how much she had grown in this experience because she and this man were able to continue to have a close friendship, nothing sexual, just a friendship on a mature level and continued to have respect for each other. The break-up was done in a very amicable way. 

I think one of the things that intrigues some people about Jodi Arias is that she seemed to have a lot of things going for her but she just couldn't see it, there seemed to be this lack of something in her life. She was indeed a narcissist but could also be very self critical and be shy with compliments from others. 

It was a change of employment that saw her come into contact with Travis Alexander. She had not long been working for a Pre-Paid Legal Services (PPL) company when she had been invited along to a conference in September of 2006 and this was where she first laid eyes on Travis who was there as a motivational speaker giving a presentation. She was completely captivated by him and his air of confidence and charismatic personality. He seemed to be quite a handsome young guy with a friendly personality and seemed to be well liked around those who engaged and worked with him, he had many friends and was admired. 

The background to Travis Alexander was that he had come up from some pretty difficult times. His start in life wasn't the best due to his parent's struggles with substance abuse and financial difficulties. Travis later spoke about how he grew up in a home with only mouldy food to eat and lack of proper care. He eventually went to live with his grandparents along with his seven siblings and it was this that he believed had saved his life. Travis was a little bit older than Jodi, having been born on the 28th of July 1977 in California. He was a very self-motivated individual who was also quite creative and talented, he had admirable leadership skills and was a great public speaker so with all of that and his boyband looks, it was no surprise that Jodi took a shine to him. 

 (Travis Alexander. Picture credit: abcnews)

When they first met at the conference it was like an instant spark between the pair of them and it was very much both ways. Travis was equally as taken with Jodi as she was with him. Working for the same company and exchanging phone numbers, they planned to stay in touch but at this point, Jodi lived quite far away from Travis but she was determined to see him again. They ended up contacting each other and both of them would go back and fourth travelling to see each other. They would send endless texts and emails to each other as well as explicit pictures and engage in regular phone sex. The passion was clearly there between the two of them but Travis had another side of his life which he was trying to maintain and that was his respectable reputation as an elder in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It seemed that Travis had all kinds of layers to him as people often do but some aspects of his life appeared to be fake. 

For someone who preached about the rules of the Latter-day Saints and the clean-cut lifestyle they had to maintain, Travis was drinking, smoking and getting up to all sorts with Jodi and other women. He also reportedly did stand-up comedy from time to time under an 'alter-ego' he called ''Eddie Snell''. So it was pretty hard to figure him out because he seemed to be in a bit of a conflict because he preached the Mormon lifestyle and wanted a proper Mormon wife but at the same time he had this 'Jack The Lad' lifestyle behind closed doors. 

As the relationship with Jodi grew more intense, so did Jodi's infatuation with Travis. He was clearly attracted to her and enjoyed having this beautiful blonde girl on his arm but at the same time to him it seemed to be a bit of fun, a naughty risk. Travis was also a raving narcissist but he could be quite cold with it whereas Jodi just wanted to be loved, he seemed to have an arrogance about him. If you've had a chance to listen to the tapes that were played at Jodi's trial you will hear how she is constantly fishing for compliments from him and desperately seeks his approval and praise. He on the other hand is enjoying the attention that he's getting from her and with Jodi's pushing for compliments, for example when she says that she didn't feel confident in front of the camera and that she didn't think she looked that great whilst also seeking his approval on an online profile picture she had just uploaded. It was almost as if he was struggling to say something nice, the best she could get out of him eventually was that she was photogenic and that she looked good. The conversation immediately turned to sex because she knew that was the only way she could get his attention and interest. She knew that for him it was purely a sexual thing and it's evident (especially later) when all of that pent up rage came tumbling out. 

In their strange relationship (which started off very hot and heavy) it was very much the Travis show and he did have her at his beck and call and in my opinion, exploited the fact that she was infatuated with him and insecure. He would tell his friends that she was stalking him but he was sleeping with her and communicating with her voluntarily all the way up until the day of the murder. He never reported her to the police despite the fact that she had slashed his car tyres, had gotten into his house a number of times, hacked into his Facebook, warned other women to stay away from him and had access to his private voicemails. 

He used Jodi as his personal sex slave and she went along with it in the hopes that somehow he would fall in love with her. At one point he asked her to do some work for him in the house as a cleaner, he insisted that she wear a maid's outfit, high heels and stockings whilst doing the cleaning. He paid her for this work and Jodi went along with it because she did anything that pleased him. Not long after they'd met and were getting closer, she joined his church and was baptised in the hope that this would impress him and that he'd see her as wife material. In the beginning he had apparently said to a friend that he saw Jodi as wife material when he first met her. As time went on though, he didn't treat her as a wife, he treated her as a dirty secret, sleeping with her whilst keeping up a respectable image in front of the church and work colleagues. Whilst all of this was going on he was seeing other women, the type of women you would take home to meet your Mother, wholesome, white blouses, no make-up, pies in the oven etc sort of women. 

(Travis Alexander & Jodi Arias. Picture credit: paramountpressexpress)

Jodi and Travis had a kinky sex life which was against the church rules and his way of making himself feel better was to partake in (sorry to be graphic here) anal sex because in their rules you can't have the traditional way of intercourse until you are married otherwise that is a sin. He convinced himself and told Jodi that anal sex didn't count so it wasn't a sin. So you can imagine the set up here, She shows up, they sleep together, doing this, that and the other and then it's 'I'll call you later in the week' and she leaves feeling worthless, he's happy and continues to go on dates with women from the church. 

Jodi of course knew all of this and the anger inside was building up but she wasn't going to give up trying to make him see her as marriage material and to love her the way she wanted him to. I'm probably going to offend some people with my thoughts on this case but having researched this case and watched the trial, listened to the tapes, read the court documents etc quite a few times, it's clear to me that Travis enjoyed the attention of this beautiful blonde woman who would do anything for him sexually and I cringe saying that but he encouraged her and led her on, he knew how she felt about him and he exploited that for his own gain. 

I'm not letting Jodi off the hook because she was clearly unstable and how she acted was appalling but he was getting mixed signals, he wasn't telling her to leave him alone, he continued to sleep with her and message her, he never called the police. She had it in her mind that there was something more between them and that's why she felt the anger, rage and rejection when she found out that he was pursuing other women whilst using her for sex. 

This was always going to end badly and the final straw came on Wednesday 4th of June 2008. Jodi who was supposed to be his stalker (and she did stalk him, as previously mentioned, slashing his tyres, hacking his messages etc) was yet again in bed with Travis. They'd had sex and started taking explicit photographs and I remember seeing these photographs everywhere. Travis took various pictures of Jodi in various positions and she looked uncomfortable, she also took some pictures of him. Once they were done fooling around with the camera etc, at some point Travis went to take a shower. Jodi decided to do some of her usual sneaking around Travis's personal belongings and discovered that he had been planning a trip with a woman he'd been regularly messaging. 

I think it was clear at that point that this was never going to go the way she wanted, she knew he was just using her to get his rocks off and he didn't love her. One wonders if she was sat there thinking about all of the degrading things she had done in a pathetic attempt to get him to love her as well all the travelling she did, moving closer to be near him, becoming a Mormon, doing everything he wanted and it was just never going to happen with them. It's unclear how events unfolded step by step but what we do know is that Jodi Arias flew into a terrifying rage and attacked Travis. It was very gruesome and brutal and the things that she did could only have been committed during a full rage meltdown, the strength that her attack took was all of that rage and anger pouring out. 

When it was all said and done, Travis had been subjected to 27 stab wounds, his throat was slashed so much that he was almost decapitated, there was defensive wounds on his hands from where he had tried to protect himself and a gunshot to the head. It was horrendous, overkill in the extreme. Anyone would be forgiven for thinking that this horrific scene had been caused by a gang of people or at least two strong men but no, it was all Jodi Arias, all that inner rage gave her that frightening strength. 

As I believe this murder was not planned, Jodi left evidence all over the place. There was a hand print on the wall, hers and Travis's DNA was everywhere and strands of her hair were also found. She attempted to damage the camera where they had taken photographs but that didn't work out for her either, investigators were able to retrieve all of the pictures taken that day before she murdered Travis. 

After the murder she fled the scene and tried to cover her tracks by dying her hair, trying to act normal and making calls to Travis's phone as well as leaving messages. Even though he was deceased she still checked his personal voicemails too. 

The horrible scene and situation in which Travis was left in was horrendous, as much as he had aspects of his life where he was dishonest and took advantage of certain people, on the whole he was a good guy and did not deserve this horrifying attack. To be basically slaughtered in your own house when you are naked having a shower, the vulnerability, indignity and lack of respect just leaves one speechless. Both of them could have walked away, I'm not blaming him for what happened to him but he could have told her many times to leave him alone, contacted the police, done something instead of continuing to basically use her for sex. 

And Jodi should have had more self respect and realised her own worth and moved on with her life away from him. She was an attractive woman, other relationships would have come around at some point but she was utterly obsessed with him. 

The gruesome crime scene was discovered by his friends who had gone over to check on him after they had been concerned at him not responding to calls and messages. It's heartbreaking to listen to the 911 call and those poor people having to go in there and see that horrible sight. They found blood everywhere and Travis crumpled up naked in the shower. A terrible and undignified way to be treated and just left there. It was cold and it was heartless. When the 911 operator asked the group a few questions about Travis they told them about Jodi and all that had been going on with the slashed tyres and the stalking. 

Jodi was arrested and questioned. As she sat in the interrogation room with her freshly dyed brown hair, she had been recorded on camera on the moments that officers were out of the room. Her behaviour was very bizarre to say the least, she was singing, acting like a toddler, started talking to herself as well as doing handstands up against the wall. She later claimed that these actions were to shake of the stress she was under. 

The evidence the cops had on her was overwhelming obviously but she pleaded not guilty at first. Then she came up with a story that two people dressed as Ninjas had broken into Travis's house and murdered him whilst deciding if they would murder her but they decided to let her go. This story didn't wash with the cops and so she came up with another story, that Travis put her through domestic abuse. 

At her trial she did her best to paint herself as the pathetic figure. The makeup was off, the hair was still brown and mousy and she was often seen wearing frumpy blouses and glasses. She was trying everything she could to look downtrodden, like she was the actual victim just defending herself.

(Jodi Arias: Picture credit: NBC News)

In the courtroom everything was all laid out there for everyone to see and hear. All the videos, audios and pictures are online for the public to see, they even played the phone sex audio as Jodi sat there with her head down. I think everyone in the courtroom and at home watching, was cringing at that. 

Jodi Arias was found guilty of the first degree murder of Travis Alexander and was sentenced to life without parole which in the UK also means a whole life order. She will never leave prison alive. As we speak she is said to have been a model prisoner and been quite popular with the staff and fellow inmates, she had campaigned recently for extra books for a library and had gotten her wish, the inmates were thankful to her for that. It's a wonder what Jodi has told the inmates about what happened with Travis but one can imagine that they would take more of a sympathetic view if they were to believe that she was indeed a victim of domestic violence who finally had enough one day and struck back. 

Jodi Arias also has a huge fan base believe it or not, she has supporters who believe that Travis had abused her and they are focused on getting her out of prison and having her sentence reduced. Jodie receives a lot of fan mail and a lot of it is from men, she is said to have had some romantic relationships with pen pals. I know that there are some men who obviously find her attractive but the fact that she is a murderer seems to be a bit of a turn-on for them for some sickening reason, like it would be a risk for them. 

This case will always been shocking to everyone who comes across it. The horrendous way in which Travis Alexander was murdered was not only the stuff of nightmares but was another horrifying example that men can also be victims of domestic violence and vicious physical attacks by women. Travis may have been a bit of a love rat and I don't mean to speak ill of the dead but we have to be honest here, you don't sleep with your stalker and continue to contact them whilst telling everyone else she's your stalker. He knew she was unhinged but because he enjoyed the sex and the attention he carried on with it, ignoring the consequences.

 Nobody could have seen how far Jodi was going to take it, they knew she was capable of hacking and slashing cars but actual brutal murder? She would always appear to be quite fragile and soft spoken to friends and family, people who knew her for years, the person who committed this horrendous crime was not someone they knew, it was like they didn't recognise her. What happened with Jodi (and I'm making no excuses for her) was that she was unhealthily obsessed with Travis and would stop at nothing to have him even if it meant degrading herself in the process, a lot of women out there do this, they do everything for a certain man expecting that the man will fall in love with them and in the end they are taken advantage of. The sad truth is that some men and women will take advantage of an over enthusiastic lover and they will have it all their way until they get bored. Travis was a man who wanted his cake and to eat it to. I have no doubt that he had it in mind that he would marry a wholesome Mormon lady and continue to have Jodi on the side for the kinky sex, maybe Jodi could see this and was fed up being a dirty secret?

Further reading & sources:

Jodi Arias: Article | KSBW

Travis Alexander: Article | ABC News

Travis Alexander & Jodi Arias: Article | Paramount Press

Jodi Arias: Article | NBC News

Murder of Travis Alexander | Wikipedia

Jodi Arias: Article | People Magazine

Conviction: The Untold Story of Putting Jodi Arias Behind Bars | Book by Juan Martinez

Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret | Made for TV Drama based on the case

Jodi Arias: Court Documents | Maricopa County Attorney Office

Jodi Arias: Article | The Independent

Jodi Arias: Trial Playlist

Jodi Arias: Interrogation Videos 

Shout out as always to the amazing Newspapers.com for allowing me access to numerous newspaper articles for not only this case but for others. Be sure to check out the site, it's amazing, they have historical newspapers right up to present time from all over the world. 

RIP Travis, those who knew you best will never forget the kindness and love you showed them and those who you inspired will never forget the things you said and the self-motivation and hope you gave them. You left your mark in this world and your life was so cruelly taken too soon. 

I would love to know your thoughts on this case. Thank you for taking the time to read my post if you've made it this far and I hope you will join me in the next one. In the meantime I hope to see you for a chat on my Socials, Take care until next post x

Murdered By Her Own Parents For Refusing To Marry Her Cousin

(Shafilea Ahmed. Picture credits: bbc)

*Please be aware that I will be sharing some very disturbing details in this post. I will, as always, aim to be as sensitive with the details as possible without taking away from the facts of the case*

This heartbreaking story is one that many of you from outside the UK might not be familiar with, the shocking murder of 17 year old Shafilea Ahmed at the hands of her own parents. It truly is the stuff of nightmares when the very people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, protect you and keep you safe, end up being the very people to harm you in the worst way possible and take your life all because you refused to marry your own cousin. 

It's a difficult story to understand, how a beautiful young and talented girl who had her whole life ahead of her (and dreams of becoming a lawyer) could have her life so cruelly taken. It will be a difficult story to tell but I owe to Shafilea to tell her story so let's get through it. 

Shafilea Iftikhar Ahmed was born on the 14th of July 1986 in Bradford, England to Pakistani parents, Iftikhar and Farzana. Iftikhar worked as a taxi driver and had previously lived quite a western lifestyle before deciding that he wanted to embrace Islam fully again with his wife Farzana. His background is quite complicated to explain and I want the focus to be on Shafilea so I'm moving forward to were Iftikhar and Farzana are now fully embracing their Muslim life and have a beautiful new baby daughter. 

Shafilea was everything a parent could have hoped for in a child, beautiful, smart, very bubbly and was academically gifted. She had four other siblings, two sisters and two brothers. The trouble for her parents was that Shafilea was seen as a bit of a rebel, she had dreams of becoming a lawyer and in their eyes she was not following the Muslim lifestyle as they expected her to. As well as having a taste for more western things that her friends were into, Shafilea or 'Shaf' as her friends called her, started wearing jeans and t-shirts which her parents were furious about because they said that they were too 'tight fitting'. The type of dress for a Muslim woman and girl is quite loose material where none of the skin or outline of the body is shown. Shafilea was struggling with the rules of the religion and wanted to be like the girls at school. As a result of her actions and behaviour (basically being a normal teenage girl in western standards) she was subjected to horrendous abuse by her parents. Both of them would beat her and it was not uncommon for Shafilea to be seen at school with swollen cut lips and bruises on her skin.

She had been taken to Pakistan previously where her parents tried to force an arranged marriage upon her, despite the pressure she refused and even attempted suicide by drinking bleach. She managed to survive the suicide attempt but there was some considerable damage to her throat that she ended up needing regular treatment for back in the UK. When later questioned about this suicide attempt, her parents claimed that Shafilea had simply made a mistake during a powercut and mistook the bleach for mouthwash. 

She told UK authorities previously about what had been going on and she was terrified because her parents had constantly threatened to send her back to Pakistan to be married to her cousin, she knew they were furious with her for refusing to do as they ordered and they also felt embarrassed by her suicide attempt, in their minds she brought shame on the family. Shafilea didn't want any of it, she wanted to just be a normal teenage girl and work towards becoming a lawyer. After the incident with the bleach, Shafilea was struggling because of the damage to her throat, because she had been ill and lost a lot of weight, the cousin (who was in his 20's ended up refusing to marry her), this added more rage to the parents who decided to bring her back to the UK for hospital treatment. Shafilea spent her last birthday, her 17th, in hospital. She was terrified anticipating what the punishment was going to be for refusing to marry her cousin and attempting to commit suicide and then the cousin refusing to marry her in the end because of her falling ill due to the damage the bleach had caused. 

Back in the UK everything was tense and she was taken to the hospital, eventually she was released and was well enough to continue her studies towards her dream of becoming a lawyer. She enrolled at a local college and had started a job in an office. She also got back in touch with all of her school friends and there was a boy that she had a very close relationship with previously and they had began communicating again. 

I wish I could say that things were starting to look more positive for Shafilea but sadly that's not the case. Her parents had been planning her murder for some time and they waited until she was out of the hospital and realising that with her joining this new college and being back in touch with new friends, she was still rebelling against their rules. Her parents tricked her into thinking that nothing bad would happen to her and on the 11th of September 2003, he mother offered to pick her up from work. Everything was fine until her mother saw what Shafilea was wearing, apparently all hell broke loose because she was wearing jeans, a hoodied top and a t-shirt. Shafilea tried to argue her case that she saw nothing wrong with what she was wearing because her body was completely covered but the pair could never see eye to eye and when they went home, the arguing continued. When they got into the house, Shafilea decided to go into the livingroom and watch some TV.

Whilst Shafilea was on the sofa, her parents were searching her bag and found money that she had been saving which was her own money she had made from her work. The arguing started back up again about the clothes, the money and the lifestyle and this is the point where things take an even more horrific turn. I have included a segment here from the Independent newspaper where her sister was quoted as saying at her parents trial (please be aware that the details here are very disturbing):

Iftikhar was arguing with Shafilea in the livingroom with her siblings watching on. Suddenly her mother said ''Just finish it here''

''They both started hitting her, she was scared as usual. I can't remember which one grabbed the bag, just a plastic bag , which they put in her mouth and put their hands over her - both of them.'' (Shafilea was on the sofa whilst this was happening)

(Her father held her legs down with his legs as Shafilea struggled and her sister, Alesha said that she noticed that Shafilea's eyes were opened wide with fear and that during all of this she had actually urinated. They both held her down and eventually she stopped struggling) ''That was it, as if she was gone.''

Alesha also said that her parents kept their hands on Shafilea for a few minutes afterwards to make sure that she was dead. Her 'father' if you could even call him that, then coldly pulled Shafilea off of the sofa and onto the floor where he punched her in the stomach and then removed her body from the room. 

Her siblings watched the whole horrific scene and all her 13 year old brother could say was ''She deserved it.''

Alesha told the courtroom that she also witnessed her parents getting bed sheets, trash bags and tape together before going into the garage, the next thing she remembers is the car driving off and then returning some time later. 

The evil parents told their other children to tell anyone who asks where Shafilea is, that she ran away. 

In another cold action, Shafilea's mother actually slept in her deceased daughter's bed that night. Alesha couldn't bare the trauma of what had happened and ended up breaking down and telling friends at school but swore them to secrecy. Iftikhar and Farzana had driven their daughter's deceased remains all the way to Cumbria where they just dumped her body at a beauty spot. It took months for Shafilea's body to be discovered and during this time her parents and siblings told anyone who asked about her that she had simply ran away. Shafilea's friends and teachers didn't believe this to be the case, it was a difficult situation because they had no proof and they didn't want to be seen as racist by pointing the finger at the parents. 

Shafilea's body was finally found in February of 2004 and her remains were badly decomposed to the point that she had to be identified by her dental records. Some items that she was wearing, including a ring, was identified by her parents as belonging to her. Both Iftikhar and Farzana played the part of the grieving parents who appealed for information about what happened to their daughter. Everyone was suspicious of them from day one, even the police but there was no solid evidence due to how badly decomposed Shafilea's remains were. All the police and everyone had was what Shafilea had told them before she went missing, the horrific history of abuse by her parents. Rumours continued to go around and surprisingly nothing much was done until 2010 when in a bizarre turn of events, Shafilea's sister Alesha had been arrested for trying to stage a robbery at her parents house. When she arrived at the police station she just blurted out that her parents had murdered her sister. 

Iftikhar and Farzana were finally arrested and stood trial in May 2012, they were found guilty and sentenced on the 3rd of August 2012 to life imprisonment with a minimum of 25 years each. 

The judge (Mr Justice Roderick Evans) made his final remarks at their sentencing some of which are as follows: 

''The jury has found you both guilty of the murder of your daughter Shafilea. She was 17 years of age when you killed her. What was it that brought you two – her parents, the people who had given her life – to the point of killing her? 

''You, Iftikhar Ahmed, came to the United Kingdom when you were 10 years of age and you are fully familiar with western culture. Indeed, you married a Danish woman and had a son by her and lived, for some time, in Denmark. Then, in 1985, you returned to Pakistan and, while you were there, you married Farzana Ahmed, your first cousin. She lived in your home village in rural Pakistan. She had no experience of western culture but in 1986 you both came to England and settled here. You have lived here for the last 25 years. When you arrived here you, Farzana Ahmed, were pregnant with Shafilea. In due course, you had four other children, three daughters, Alesha, Mevish and X and a son, Junyad. 

''You chose to bring up your family in Warrington but, although you lived in Warrington, your social and cultural attitudes were those of rural Pakistan and it was those which you imposed upon your children. Shafilea was a determined, able and ambitious girl who wanted to live a life which was normal in the country and in the town in which you had chosen to live and bring up your children. However, you could not tolerate the life that Shafilea wanted to live. You wanted your family to live in Pakistan in Warrington. Although she went to local schools, you objected to her socialising with girls from what has been referred to as “the white community”. You objected to her wearing western clothes and you objected to her having contact with boys. 

''She was being squeezed between two cultures, the culture and way of life that she saw around her and wanted to embrace and the culture and way of life you wanted to impose upon her. A desire that she understood and appreciated the cultural heritage from which she came is perfectly understandable but an expectation that she live in a sealed cultural environment separate from the culture of the country in which she lived was unrealistic, destructive and cruel. The conflict between you and her increased in the last year of her life and you tried to impose your cultural values and attitudes on her by intimidation, bullying and the use of physical violence. She tried to escape and she was determined to do so because she knew what lay in store for her at your hands – being taken to Pakistan to be “sorted out” i.e. having her westernised ideas removed – and to be married off. 

''She ran away in February 2003 but you recaptured her, dragged her off the street and forced her into your car and, a week later, she was drugged and taken to Pakistan. I have no doubt that your intention was that she should remain in Pakistan and be married there. There came a time in Pakistan when she realised what her immediate future was going to be; she self‐harmed by drinking bleach in order to frustrate your plans. She seriously injured herself and her condition deteriorated to such an extent after she had been left in Pakistan that she was no longer wanted as a bride. She was brought back to the United Kingdom where she received prolonged hospital treatment. On her discharge from hospital, even in her weakened condition, she continued to want freedom and to live the life she wanted for herself.

''On the evening of 11th September 2003, you berated her for her behaviour and, in temper and frustration, you two suffocated her. It was you, Farzana Ahmed, who said to your husband “finish it here”. While I accept that there was no pre‐existing plan to kill Shafilea that night, that remark together with the evidence relating to whether or not Shafilea survived the drinking of bleach drives me to the conclusion that you two had previously discussed the way that you might ultimately resolve the problem which Shafilea presented for you. 

''Your problem was that, in what you referred to as your “community”, Shafilea’s conduct was bringing shame upon you and your concern about being shamed in your community was greater than your love of you child. In order to rid yourselves of that problem, you killed Shafilea by suffocating her in the presence of your other four children. 

''I express no concluded view on whether Junyad played any part in the killing of his sister but I have no doubt that, as the result of the distorted upbringing and values to which you subjected him, he told his surviving sisters, within minutes of them seeing Shafilea murdered by you, that Shafilea deserved it. Thereafter, you got rid of her body by dumping it or having it dumped in undergrowth on a riverbank in Cumbria and you told your children what to tell anybody who asked about the disappearance of Shafilea.

'' You killed one daughter, but you have blighted the lives of your remaining children. Alesha escaped but she is unlikely to be able to avoid the legacy of her upbringing. Mevish, after a period of trying to live independently, was recaptured and brought home and has since become compliant with your wishes. She came to court and was placed in the sad position of having to deny her own words in order to try to help the parents whom she, and no doubt all your surviving children, still care for. X was seven when she saw Shafilea killed and it is difficult to say what effect that has had upon her or will have upon her in the future. However, there is no difficulty in seeing the life which would have lain ahead of her, had she returned to live with you''

Alesha was placed in witness protection for life because of her part in bringing down her parents and getting justice finally for Shafilea. Due to Iftihkar being from a large family and very much an important figure to the Ahmed family, there was a high chance that Alesha would be at risk for exposing the truth so her name, location and basically her life has changed for her own protection. 

(Iftikhar & Farzana Ahmed. Picture credits: nationalpost)

There has always been suspicion that other family members helped cover up Shafilea's murder and may also have been involved in the disposal of her body but the police have so far been unable to gather any evidence. 

This was a heartbreaking and very disturbing case and one that has never left the public's consciousness. Shafilea had her whole life ahead of her and it was a very promising and bright future that she would have had if she'd been able to live her life the way she wanted to and continue working towards her dream. Her only crime was being a typical teenage girl in western standards and she wasn't causing anyone any harm. She was just a 17 year old girl who refused to marry her cousin who was in his 20s. She knew that if she had to marry him and live in Pakistan that any tiny bit of freedom and happiness that she did have in the UK would be snatched away. Shafilea was the happiest when she was with her friends, she was able to be herself and feel accepted but when she went home it was a place of hell for her and it's heartbreaking to know of how she suffered. She only had 17 years on this earth and a lot of it was very difficult but there were moments when she shone and her friends and teachers remember her fondly, she certainly left people with some lovely memories of her. 

A close friend of Shafilea's (Melissa Powner) who had been at the trial and had been waiting along with her other friends to see justice finally done, read a statement after the murderers were sentenced:

''We have waited for this day for many years. We have watched as her killers roamed free, yet today we heard those important words - words that have finally brought our friend the justice she deserves. 

Shafilea was a caring, high-spirited and brave young lady who even in her toughest times always strived to remain positive and hopeful that one day she too would be able to able to live the peaceful and happy life that she deserved''. 

RIP Shafilea, you will never be forgotten. 

Further reading & sources: 

Shafilea Ahmed: Article | BBC News

Iftikhar & Farzana Ahmed: Article | National Post

Murder of Shafilea Ahmed | Wikipedia

Iftikhar & Farzana Ahmed: Article | BBC News

Shafilea Ahmed: Article | The Guardian

Shafilea Ahmed | West Yorkshire Police

Shafilea Ahmed: Article | Manchester Evening News

Iftikhar & Farzana Ahmed: Judge's Sentencing Remarks | Judiciary UK

Special shout out as always to Newspapers.com who's incredible library of past and present newspaper articles have been invaluable to me during my research in this case and previous cases. I highly recommend checking the site out as they have a extraordinary range of articles dating back decades right up until the present day from all over the world. 

I appreciate how difficult this post was to get through so if you have made it to this point I thank you. If you would like to share your thoughts on this case, please do so below in the comments section or email me at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com 

Please stay safe until next time and I hope to see you elsewhere on my Socials x