True Crime With Caledonian Kitty

You often hear people of a certain age say that things were much better back in the day, situations were much safer, you could send your kids out to play in the street and nothing bad would happen. Well, I think it's a common thing to look back over years gone by with rose-tinted glasses and believe that everything was all good and safe, but the truth is, it wasn't. I've been writing about serial killers and true crime on this blog since 2019 and before that, I studied Criminology and grew up reading and learning about the dark side of life and history. I don't think there's ever been a time when we have been 100% safe, just look as far back as the infamous Jack The Ripper case in the 1800's. 

I don't think there's a difference in the level of evil that's out there today then what was out there decades ago, our forensics have become more advanced and we are able to find more missing persons due to improved technology. I always say to keep yourself safe but the truth is, anyone can be a victim of crime at any time, any place. I've written about so many serial killers and I'm in the process of writing my first book as we speak. Each case of the serial killer has been horrific to research and in this particular post I have unfortunately delved into the dark and twisted crimes of Dean Corll (also known as The Candy Man or The Pied Piper). This post is not for the faint-hearted and it was a difficult case to research for me despite the countless books and newspaper articles I had at my disposal, the details of the murders were a lot to take but again, I always say that the victims deserve to have their stories told, the evil perpetrators exposed and also for police incompetence to be discussed to ensure that the wrongful handling of a particular case never happens again.

In the early 1970's Dean Corll together with the help of two young male accomplices (who he had groomed), had been responsible for the sickening rape, torture and murder of young boys and men (ages 13 to 20) in Houston, Texas. All of the boys were enticed to whichever home Corll happened to be living at the time, by his two young accomplices, Elmer Wayne Henley and David Owen Brooks. Elmer and David would be promised money and gifts as well as beer and cigarettes for their part in procuring the boys, most of which were known to them and in many cases, actual friends of theirs. 

Dean Corll would move every two months in an attempt to keep his sickening and evil hobby a secret. His confirmed victim count was said to be 29 but authorities believe he could be responsible for the deaths of up to 42 young men and boys. The majority of Corll's victims were from the same area of Texas known as Houston Heights, at the time the boys who disappeared where dismissed as just runaways despite their distraught families trying to explain to the police that their sons were not the type to just run away from home. A lot of these boys were on their way to a swimming pool or their part time jobs. One parent pointed out that her son would not have run away with just his swimming trunks and some spare change in his pocket. None of these boys had run away despite the quick judgements and assumptions from the cops. These boys were actually led to their heartbreaking demise by people they thought they could trust, boys of similar age to them that they knew, their so-called friends Elmer and David. 

Elmer and David would go out looking for unsuspecting victims to take back to Dean Corll who was a grown man with an obsession with young boys, blood and sadistic torture. Dean would award them with money and gifts, sometimes Elmer and David would take part in tying the victims up or committing assault. Dean was very much in control and his victims would be tied to a torture board where he would subject them to the most horrendous sexual assaults and torture before he killed them. Sometimes photographs would be taken of the victims. Dean would keep his victim's keys as trophies and reminders of his evil crimes. He was known to bite his victims genitals extremely hard to the point they were bitten off. He would perform disgusting and degrading sexual acts on the victims as well as pulling out their pubic hair one by one. He would gag the victims and turn music up loud to drown out the screams of agony. On one horrific occasion, two young brothers were both tied up and Dean had both boys handcuffed to his torture board, side by side with one wrist handcuffed. With the wrist that each boy had free, David forced them to beat each other to death and told them whoever survived would be set free. Both boys began punching each other as hard as they could to the point that they were both covered in blood. The sickening ordeal ended when Dean got fed up watching the boys and decided to strangled them to death. Dean would also enjoy castrating his victims and he would either do this with his teeth or with a weapon and then he would enlist the help of his two young accomplices who would help him wrap the bodies in plastic sheeting and help get rid of the remains, he would ensure that his victims were buried alongside a bag which contained their private parts that Dean had chewed or cut off. 

With so many boys going missing and the police quick to call them runaways, the parents tried to lean on each other for support and conducted their own searches for their children. 

Both Elmer and David were from poor families who were struggling to make ends meet and they looked up to Dean. Dean had been born on the 24th of December 1939 to a doting mother, Mary and strict father, Arnold. He had been a sickly child who struggled with his confidence and trying to strike up friendships with the other kids. At that point there was no red flags of what he was to become. As he grew up he realised more and more that he was actually attracted to other boys. He had a stint in the Army and his curious thoughts about his sexuality finally came to a conclusion that he was infact, gay. His Mother Mary was very homophobic. The family had run a successful candy business and Dean was very much part of that, his nickname around town was 'Candy Man' due to the fact that he liked to hand out candy to the children. David was popular in the community because of his generosity with candy for the children, but also because he came across as a really nice, hardworking man. Nobody could imagine what was really behind those evil eyes. 

Dean's sick reign of horror would last for three years but before he had the help of Elmer and David, investigators (and myself) believe that he had been killing long before that so nobody knows for sure the exact number of deaths that he is responsible for. 

In August of 1973, Dean Corll's sickening crimes were to come to an ultimate end when he was shot dead by one of his accomplices Elmer. On the 8th of August, Elmer brought back two friends to Dean's house and he was reportedly furious because Elmer had brought a girl there. Dean had set up Elmer and his two friends by plying them with alcohol, marijuana and acrylic paint that he would inhale as well as encouraging others to do so. Eventually Elmer and his friends had passed out and Dean had been watching them the whole time, waiting to make his move.

Dean had bound and gagged all three of them, still in a rage about Elmer bringing a girl to the house. He began to torture the girl and Elmer's friend. As all this was going on, Elmer tried to plead with Dean and persuaded him to untie him so that he could join in with the torture and assaults. What resulted next was a confrontation between Elmer and Dean, Elmer pointed a gun at Dean's head, Dean mocked him and said that he didn't have what it took to kill him. Elmer fired the gun but it didn't have the desired effect at first. Elmer fired the gun a few times more and Dean stumbled to his knees, falling to the ground and into the hallway where he died instantly. Dean was 33 years old at the time of his death.

Elmer untied his two friends and the police were called, when they arrived, Elmer confessed to everything. At first the police were struggling to believe what Elmer was saying was true because it all sounded so nightmarish but when he mentioned the names of some of the victims they began to take him seriously. When he took them to the burial sites of the victims and the remains exhumed, they realised that he had been telling them the whole truth. All the boys that Elmer mentioned were on a missing persons list.

David finally confessed that he had been involved and had a part in three of the murders of the young boys. Elmer confessed to being partly responsible for helping with the murders of nine boys, he also described himself as a psychopath who admired Dean in the beginning and described some of his experiences with him as 'exciting'. 

They both stood trial separately, both were found guilty for their parts in the murders. Elmer was found guilty and charged with six life terms of ninety-nine years to run alongside one another. He tried to appeal this and a re-trial took place but it resulted in the same outcome. David was only charged and convicted of the murder of one boy, he received a life sentence. David passed away at the age of 65 due to complications of Covid-19 in May of 2020. Elmer Wayne Henley is still alive and serving his sentence, unlike David who was quiet and didn't want to draw too much attention to himself whilst behind bars, Elmer has spoken about Dean and his crimes in interviews, he is also a keen painter who sells his art work (and handmade jewelry) through a friend on Facebook. Elmer believes he may never get out of prison and is at peace with that. 

We may never know the true number of victims that Dean Corll horrendously murdered, so many young boys classed as runaways never to be seen again. They are still out there and their families are still without answers, it a real heartbreak. 

This case is one of the most disturbing and sickening in American history. It's terrifying to read the details of this case and imagine Dean Corll paying these two boys to basically bring their friends to him so he could torture, sexually assault and murder them, all for the sake of $200 and gifts. Those innocent victims wouldn't have had a care in the world thinking that they were just going to hang out with their friends but the reality was so horrific and evil. I'm aware that these two boys were groomed and abused by Dean themselves but the fact that they were quite happy to lure innocent boys to their ultimate suffering, torture and cruel, painful deaths is something that is beyond evil in itself. Those two boys joined in on some of the torture and watched as the victims were murdered, they would then go home and act normal like nothing happened. I see them as part of it all, there was plenty of opportunities for them to tell someone, contact the police or the families, they actively took part and that's so disturbing,

Thank you so much as always if you have made it this far in the post, I really appreciate it. I would like to take a little moment in this post to remember the poor young boys who's lives were so cruelly and heartlessly stolen (and also thinking of those still out there, yet to be identified):

RIP Jeffrey Konen, James Glass, Danny Yates, Donald Waldrop, Jerry Waldrop, Randell Harvey, David Hilligiest, Gregory Malley Winkle, Ruben Watson Haney, Willard ''Rusty'' Branch Jr, Frank Aguirre, Mark Scott, Johnny Delone, Billy Baulch, Steven Sickman, Wally Jay Simoneaux. Richard Hembree, Richard Kepner, Joseph Lyles, Billy Ray Lawrence, Ray Blackburn, Homer Garcia, John Sellars, Michael ''Tony'' Baulch, Marty Jones, Charles Cary Cobble and James Dreymala.

Further Reading & Sources: 

- The Big Book of Serial Killers | Book by Jack Rosewood

- Dean Corll: The True Story of The Houston Mass Murders | Book by Jack Rosewood

- Dean Corll | Murderpedia

- Dean Corll | Wikipedia

- Dean Corll: Article || ABC13 News

- Houston, Texas | Wikipedia

- The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers | Book by Michael Newton

(Brian Blackwell. Picture credit: Liverpool Echo)

*Please be aware that some of the details shared in this post will be quite disturbing. If you have any comments about this post that you would like to share with me in confidence, please email me at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com.

When Brian Blackwell was born, his parents Sydney and Jacqueline could not have been more over the moon. He was to become their only child together (although Sydney had two grown up children from a previous relationship who didn't live with him) but they completely adored him and had worked so hard to give him everything he wanted and needed. Brian was born into a loving family home of two very intelligent and successful parents. Jacqueline had been an antiques dealer and his father, Sydney had (who's nickname amongst friends and relatives was 'Brain') been an accountant. Brian lived with his parents in an affluent area of Merseyside, Liverpool known as Melling. 

As a child, Brian wanted for nothing, his parents saw to it that he had everything he set his eyes on. As Brian got older it was clear that he had a talent for tennis and was doing really well at school. He was really bright and his parents couldn't have been more proud of him. His teachers were impressed with him and he had a good circle of friends around him, everything looked like the future was bright for Brian Blackwell but underneath his perfect son image was something sinister lurking. Some people would say he was just a spoilt brat, others believe it to be pressure his parents were beginning to place on to him, but Brian began to distance himself from his parents and arguments were becoming a regular occurrence. As he moved into his teenage years, Brian would later claim that his parents were becoming more controlling to the point of suffocation. He had dreams of studying medicine and going to University but there was constant arguments on which university Brian was going to go to. Brian wanted one thing and it seemed like his parents wanted the other and at the end of the day he had to go along with what they said because they paid the bills and he didn't want to disrespect them. 

Brian's relationship with his parents began to further widen when he met and fell in love with a girl called Amal (I haven't included any pictures of Amal in this post because I feel that it wouldn't be fair to her. Amal had no knowledge of what Brian Blackwell was going to do or was any part of what he had eventually gone on to do. I'm sure the relationship with him as well as everything that happened, have affected her deeply and caused her no end of trauma. I hope she's doing well today). Amal was the beautiful daughter of a Doctor. To say 18 year old Brian was besotted with Amal is an understatement, she was just as in love with him and the pair seemed to be inseparable. Brian did whatever he could to impress Amal and that involved him telling little lies at first but soon enough he was telling her the most ridiculous stories about how he was being sought after and sponsored by professional tennis companies. He told her he was about to hit the big time and bought her incredibly expensive gifts. Amal and her mother were shocked about these expensive gifts and Amal's mother was suspicious but Brian gave them a story that he was doing these professional tennis tournaments and they were going to make him a star despite the fact that in reality, Brian could only play a decent game of tennis, he wasn't a seasoned professional but in his head he was. 

He began living in a dream world where he was a rich, successful sportsman with Amal by his side. The reality was that his parents were trying to direct his education, his career and romantic life. Arguments between Brian and his parents reached boiling point when they found out that he'd been using their money to buy very expensive jewelry, dinners at posh restaurants and a car for Amal. Brian was trying to portray to Amal that he was a successful sportsman and showered her with expensive things secretly using his parents' bank cards. 

His spending was getting out of control and his parents found out what he'd been doing and threatened to put a stop to everything. On the lead up to the 25th of July 2004, Brian had been promising Amal the trip of a lifetime to America where they were going to live like celebrities whilst he did his tennis tournament. He booked two tickets for business class which was flagged up straight away to his parents. What exactly happened with his parents nobody knows except Brian, but his parents confronted him about him stealing their money and they knew that he had booked two expensive plane tickets. His parents were not going to let him go and they were not going to give him money that they felt was best used for his college career. 

Some small parts of this case do remind me of The Menendez Brothers which I wrote about here on this blog in May of 2023. 

On the 25th of July 2004 after Jacqueline and Sydney confronted Brian about stealing their money and forbidding him from going to America, Brian flew into a rage and hit his father over the head with a clawhammer, he then proceeded to stab his own 72 year old, elderly father repeatedly with a carving knife. The scene was horrific, blood all over the place and hearing all of the commotion, his terrified mother came rushing into the room to see her husband covered in blood on the floor and she screamed out, asking what he had done. Brian grabbed his mother and began stabbing her repeatedly. Both of his parents laid on the floor in a pool of their own blood whilst Brian scrambled around packing a suitcase and organising money from his parent's bank accounts so that he and Amal could still go to America and have the trip of a lifetime. 

Once his suitcases were ready, Brian Blackwell closed the door behind him and put the key in the lock, knowing fine well that his parent's bodies were laid just a few feet away beginning to decompose. Brian rushed to be with Amal and pretended like nothing happened as he sat with the girl of his dreams, sipping champagne in business class which his parent's stolen money paid for. 

Brian and Amal were in America for a couple of weeks and money was no object. They stayed at the best hotels, drank champagne and had dinner in expensive restaurants, had rides in helicopters, visited famous landmarks and shopped like crazy in every designer store you could think of. Amal was dressed from head to toe in designer clothing and accessories, Brian was the same. At one point they had spent over $7000 on room service whilst they stayed in the presidential suit of a hotel. 

They had a video camera and recorded various points of the holiday. Amal was having the time of her life with who she thought was the perfect guy. Brian smiled in the pictures, laughed and joked in the videos and in the whole time he was with Amal he was upbeat, happy, not a care in the world but the whole time he had murdered his parents and their bodies were just left like trash on the floor in their home. 

Amal was oblivious to everything, she was only 18 herself and believed everything he had said. In her mind, he had all of this money so he must have been a successful tennis player. 

So Amal and Brian continued on with their romantic holiday but there was always going to be that moment when they would have to return home and that time had come. 

Brian was beginning to get a bit nervous on the plane back to England. Suddenly in his mind, the party was over and now he was trying to figure out how he was going to cover all of this up and get rid of his parent's bodies. When he got home, he went inside the property where his parents had been lying for a couple of weeks and the condition of the bodies was utterly horrendous. Brian was able to ignore the bodies and the blood on the floor and had the nerve to take a bottle of wine from his Dad's collection to give to Amal's mother. He spent some time staying at Amal's house and never once did he display any sign of upset or worry. He claimed that his parents had gone away on holiday and he would go back and forth to his parent's house to collect clothes and other items, all the while he would pass their bodies as they laid there and the smell and the flies were becoming overpowering. It's a horrible description of the scene but that's exactly how it was. 

Another frightening fact about this chilling case and an insight into the dark mind of Brian Blackwell is that he was so evil that he could not only steal money from his parents but also murder them in a very brutal and gruesome way, he could spend days on holiday smiling, having fun, spending their money without a care in the world and then return back to England, see the state of his deceased parents and the house...and still carry on his sick performance. Thinking about Amal and her mother during this time, one wonders how it must have been for them looking back over these horrendous events. To think that the whole time Amal had been around this sick and evil person and that he had been staying in their home whilst his parents bodies were still in that house for weeks and weeks. 

Brian was still trying to come up with some sort of plan to get rid of his parent's bodies. He knew he would have a gruesome task on his hands of attempting to remove the bodies because they had decomposed so badly that there was so much fluid on the floor, He tried to find a bunch of young guys who he had heard were from the wrong side of the tracks (if you know what I mean) and offered them money to burn the house down, he claimed the home belonged to a drug dealer. The young guys didn't believe him and suspected that because of his nice clothes and posh accent, he must be an undercover policeman so they refused to help him. Brian was at a loss of what to do. It seemed that all he cared about truly was not losing Amal at all costs. His plans on what to do next were suddenly taken out of his hands when a nosy neighbour (and thank goodness sometimes for nosy neighbours) noticed that there was a pile of letters piling up at the Blackwell house. 

Instead of the neighbour taking the word of Brian that his parents had just not returned yet from holiday, this neighbour together with a friend decided to get a closer look at the house and tried to push some of the letters through the letterbox. On further inspection they noticed a horrendous smell coming from the letterbox and there was so many maggots and flies crawling all over everything. Utterly horrified as you can imagine, they had a look at both windows of the house and saw flies all over the place. When they looked inside they saw what looked like a big mass of dark liquid and endless flies. The police were called and the gruesome discovery was made. 

Brian played the part of the shocked and devastated son but he was fooling nobody. He thought he was smarter than the police but the game was up, they knew what he did and why he did it. Brian ended up bursting out into tears, confessing and claiming that he didn't know it was that 'easy' for someone to die. All of this despite the fact that he hit his own 72 year old father over the head with a clawhammer and stabbed him repeatedly over and over and over again. He then turned his attentions to his mother and did the same to her. What he did to them was overkill, it was rage and he left them on the floor covered in blood. He then used their money to fund a holiday for himself and his girlfriend whilst his parents (who did everything for him) laid on the floor whilst flies and maggots covered them. What sort of mind does that? No care, no remorse, no tears at all. The only time Brian Blackwell cried was when he'd confessed and he knew that he was heading to the slammer and there was no way in hell Amal was going to be seeing him again. 

So he was found guilty obviously and sentenced to life imprisonment. The judge at his trial even commented that it would 'unlikely ever be safe to release him'' (Brian was also diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Fast forward to 2026 and I have to inform you the sickening news that Brian Blackwell was released on parole in 2016 and has been out there somewhere all this time. Nobody knows where he is but it's frightening to know that a person who was capable of doing what he did to his own parents and his actions afterwards is beyond words. I can't get my head around the fact that he did what he did and then went back to the house several times whilst the bodies were in the state that they were with flies crawling everywhere and he was able to return to Amal's family home and have dinner with her and her parents like nothing happened. 

Brian Blackwell is around 40 years old now, still young to have a real go at life and who knows what he's been up to all these years but is it really justice? Life should mean life should it not? He murdered two people, stole from them and his care-free actions after the murders and he's no longer in prison? Does it seem fair to you? It doesn't seem fair to me. I think about the Menendez brothers and some of the similarities between the cases. With the Menendez brothers there was proof of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. Witnesses, even family members came forward to say that the boys had been through a lot with their father. They have been in prison for over 35 years with no sign of being released. What do you think should have happened with Brian Blackwell? Should he still be behind bars or do you think he has served enough time? Let me know in the comments below or email me in confidence at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com 

RIP Sydney and Jacqueline. 

Further Reading & Sources:

- Brian Blackwell: Article | The Guardian

- Brian Blackwell: Article | Liverpool Echo

- Brian Blackwell | Wikipedia

- Brian Blackwell | Crime + Investigation

- Narcissistic Personality Disorder | Mayo clinic

- Brian Blackwell | ITV

Thank you as always for joining me in another disturbing true crime case. I hope you will check out my next post, in the meantime I hope to see you on my Socials

Please stay safe, until next time x

*Please be aware that the details shared in this post are quite disturbing. I have tried, as always to share the details in a sensitive manner without taking away from the facts of the case. If you have any comments about this post, please leave them below or email me in confidence at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com*

Fiona Beal was known by her colleagues and young pupils as a friendly, funny and outgoing teacher who always had time for everyone. She could be the life and soul of the party when she was with her friends and work colleagues, and a primary school teacher who really knew how to keep the kids entertained. She was always known to be professional with such a passion for her job and a real caring approach to the children that she taught, nobody really had a bad word to say about her. 

So on the 8th of March of 2022, people close to Fiona (50) were becoming very concerned about her over recent weeks and months. She had been acting strange and at first it seemed that she was going through some sort of burn-out but she had recently told friends that her long-term relationship with her younger partner (42 year old Nicholas Billingham) had broken down and he'd moved out of their home to be with another woman. The breakdown of this relationship of 17 years had appeared to have taken it's toll on Fiona and her behaviour was concerning.

After a string of text messages from Fiona which sounded very much like she was attempting to take her own life, concerned friends and relatives had contacted the police to do a welfare check and shockingly they found that she had been in the bathtub of a holiday home, alone and had attempted to end her life. The police did their best to support her and took her to the hospital where she made a full recovery. Everyone was relieved that the police had gotten there in time. However, when a search was done of the holiday home, a diary was found which the police had looked through as a way to try and understand her mental state as well as thinking about handing it over to mental health professionals who would be able to better support Fiona. What they found in the diary was shocking, they were expecting some personal thoughts from a woman who was depressed but what they found was a woman who had documented her turbulent relationship with a younger man and the fact that she had murdered him. 

The more investigators delved into the diary, the more disturbing details emerged with every page. Nicholas (who worked as a builder and had lived at a house in Northampton, England with Fiona) had been reported missing by relatives four months earlier after he had apparently ran off with another woman who he'd been seeing behind Fiona's back. Fiona had told everyone that knew the couple that things had continued to sour between the pair and Nicholas just left her to start a new life. Despite the fact that Nicholas had infidelities in the relationship before, nobody could understand why he would suddenly leave his job which he very much enjoyed and had stopped all contact with family and friends. 

For a short time after Nicholas had apparently left Fiona, there was text messages to friends and family from his phone which indicated that he had been suffering with ill health due to Covid. Then other excuses would be sent about how he had left Fiona for a new life. The situation puzzled everyone and nobody knew what to make of any of it. Fiona continued to go to work after her so-called break up with Nicholas and had even decided to redecorate the house. Her friends saw this as a way for Fiona to try and move on. Fiona had told friends that she had tried to contact Nicholas about selling the house and he would send back very rude messages telling her to leave him alone. 

For months, Fiona continued to go to work and would invite people over for dinner, including Nicholas's own mother. Fiona appeared to have been holding everything together despite the end of her relationship but the realty was, she was struggling and for all the wrong reasons because it wasn't just a straight-forward break-up. 

The pressure became too much for Fiona Beal, she couldn't keep the act up, people were asking too many questions all the time. There was also the fact that Nicholas's work van was found just around the corner, why wouldn't he take that with him? She sank into a deep depression and had to get away from the house. She decided that she wanted to end her own life, the guilt became way too much to carry. 

In the diary which the police had shared with Doctors in the hospital and the mental health team, detailed how just months earlier, Fiona had decided that she had, had enough of (what she called) Nicholas's abuse. With every page she described how Nicholas would drag her down piece by piece. He would apparently make fun of her weight, her looks and her cooking. She said he would put her down in every single way you could imagine and he would also spit in her face during sex. Fiona claimed that he had destroyed her confidence and self esteem to the point that he would cheat on her time and again but she would just put up with it because he made her feel worthless and told her that nobody else would want her. Being older than he was he would often make nasty comments about her appearance. To say the relationship was truly toxic, is an understatement. 

Instead of walking away from the relationship, Fiona claimed that her self-worth had been completely destroyed so she felt stuck and started to fall into a fantasy world of thoughts where she would get revenge somehow. She created a character called 'Tulip 22'. Tulip 22 was the side of Fiona that did have the confidence and was also powerful. She felt in control when she tapped into her 'Tulip 22' side. In the diary she had detailed how she had set up Nicholas by running him a relaxing bath with promises of a romantic, sensual evening. She made it clear that she was in the mood for sex and wanted to play one of their role-playing games, As much as a rat-bag that Nicholas reportedly was (other people did confirm that he had the habit of ending up in bed with other women and had put Fiona down in front of others in the past) he wasn't going to turn down the offer of a night of passion. After his bath he went into the bedroom and Fiona had set it all up for him to be blindfolded and tied to the bed which he was happy to go along with. 

A night of passion was not what Fiona had in mind, as soon as he was on the bed, tied and blindfolded....she plunged a knife deep into his neck killing him within a matter of seconds, blood was all over the place, it was horrific. Fiona didn't waste any time attempting to clean up the crime scene and try to cover her tracks. Relatives and friends were told not to come near the house because the pair had Covid and were told by Doctors to self-isolate. She wrapped up Nicholas's body and buried him in the garden, she told everyone she was giving the house and garden a makeover. She dragged the blood-soaked mattress down to the cellar and left it there. She used Nicholas's phone to text colleagues and relatives to give the disturbing appearance that he was still alive. She also used his phone to text herself to make it look like they were having an argument and that he was telling her to 'F*ck Off' and leave him alone. 

For months nobody suspected anything was wrong, they believed the story that Fiona had told them, that Nicholas had run of with another woman, people actually felt sorry for Fiona. Nobody who knew her could believe she would be capable of such a horrendous crime and to do that to someone you have been in a relationship with for 17 years is just unbelievable. 

An excerpt of Fiona's diary was as follows: 

October 2021. ''He spat on me and threatened me during sex. I knew then that … [X] ..had been telling the truth. I thought about laving but the things he said and did fueled [sic] my dark side – I call her Tulip 22, she’s reckless, fearless and efficient! Ruthless. I started plotting as Tulip 22 after he’d gone to bed. I could no longer sleep in the bed due to my breathing being so loud or I moved too much or I was snoring or etc, etc, I would go downstairs after sex and even when I was unwell. 

I got used to sleeping downstairs and waited for him to go to bed and then got high and let Tulip 22 out. I knew I couldn’t let him get away with it. Halloween sealed it. He was vile. I sat on the kitchen floor and wept as I witnesses the abuse I had allowed to happen. I allowed so much bad to happen. That night I planned. Covid rules meant I had a guaranteed 10 day isolation period from positive symptoms. I called Clair on the Monday and said we’d tested positive and had symptoms. He went to work. Tulip 22 smoked and planned. I’d planned it mentally so many times before. The knife cut my dressing gown pocket Mon. Nov 1st …… I had smoked all day. I had a bath. I left the water in. 

He had been pushing for sex. I encouraged the bath with the incentive of sex afterwards. While he was in the bath I kept the knife in my dressing gown pocket and then hid it in the drawer next to the bed. I brought a chisel, bin bag and cable ties up too. I got him to wear an eye mask. It was harder than I thought it would be. Hiding his body was bad. Moving a body is much more difficult than it looks on TV. I started to believe the cover story. Flashes interrupted…..''

The diary was the smoking gun and it was obvious that Fiona could no longer handle the lies and the knowledge of what she had done. The only regret she seemed to have was that she didn't leave Nicholas sooner. Even after she had brutally killed him and buried his body in the garden under rubble like he was a piece of trash on a dump site, there was no shred of remorse or sadness just anger at how he had treated her. She blamed him for everything, said that he had drove her to it. She believed he was fully responsible for the person that she had become. She wished that she had left him but she felt powerless because she took on board all the things he had said to her. 

Fiona confessed to the murder of Nicholas Billingham and was sentenced to a minimum of 20 years. She said that his last words to her was 'Why?'

Nicholas's mother admitted that her son was no angel and had made mistakes but did not deserve what had happened to him. As well as losing her beloved son, she had to deal with the fact that his body had been buried in the garden and had laid there for 4 months. She thought back to the many times that she would drop in to visit Fiona for a coffee, even though she was under the belief that Nicholas was no longer with Fiona, they kept a friendly relationship. It deeply traumatized his mother (as it would to anyone) that she was basically standing a few feet away from her deceased son and had no idea, plus she had trusted this woman that she thought she had known for 17 years who turned out to be a cold-murderer. 

RIP to Nicholas Billingham & thoughts go out to his family and friends. 

Further Reading & Sources:

- The Murder of Nicholas Billingham | The Crown Prosecution Service

- Fiona Beal: Article | BBC News

- Killer In The House: Documentary | ITVX

- DCI Adam Pendlebury | Case Discussion Segment

- Public Statements After Verdict | Sky News

- Sentencing Remarks | Judiciary UK

This case was not only a heavily disturbing story but another example of how the female can be just as deadly as the male. Fiona was a very well-liked primary school teacher who sang songs with little children and would be a shoulder to cry on with friends. She was respected, admired and was approachable but no matter how lovely someone may appear, you never know what is going on and in this case, she could have walked away. Investigators say that her writings in her diary about being abused and not being able to leave are exaggerated. They claim that Fiona had plenty of opportunities to leave Nicholas, there were plenty of relatives and friends she could have turned to and stayed with. She also had money, a car and other means to escape if she really wanted to. There was no history of violence reported to the police. I have to point out that I'm aware that people can be psychologically controlled by someone to the point that they feel they can't leave, even if they do have access to a car etc. I'm also very much aware that just because there is no history of domestic violence on police record, that doesn't mean that there is no history of domestic violence. We know that the majority of cases are sadly not reported to the police. 

If you are experiencing psychological or physical abuse in your relationship, please try and reach out for help (I know it's extremely difficult and frightening but please know that you are not alone and feel free to reach out to me if that helps, I will keep everything confidential, you can email me at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com and if you're in trouble and need help, in the email just say that you are a big fan of my blog and would love to take part in my quiz about true crime. I will do what I can to help). If you can get access to a phone or computer, please reach out to the following if you can:

In the UK:

Refuge (24 Hour Free Helpline) 0808 2000 247 / https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

Woman's Aid: https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

Victim Support: 08 08 16 89 111 / https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/domestic-abuse/

In the USA:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: Message: 88788 or call (800) 799-7233 / https://www.thehotline.org/

Worldwide: 

List of Worldwide Domestic Abuse Helplines

Such a horrific story and I appreciate it if you have made it this far in the post. I hope you will join me in the next one In the meantime, I hope you see you on my Socials

Take care and stay safe until next time....

So if you've clicked on this post, the chances are that you have watched the much anticipated documentary on Netflix, The Investigation of Lucy Letby. You may already be aware that I have written about Lucy's case a couple of times before, and to say it was a very long, drawn out investigation and trial...is an understatement, with so many stops and starts along the way.

If you're not already familiar with this case or have not read my blogs about it, please check out: 

Lucy Letby: Nurse Accused of Baby Deaths...But is She Really Guilty?

Nurses Who Kill: Beverley Allitt .....And Lucy Letby?

Like so many people with this heartbreaking and very disturbing case, I have been back and forth with opinions about it. This documentary gave us a bit more insight into the timeline of events and what was going on behind the scenes, whilst we all looked at our TV screens in horror, at the thought of someone murdering innocent babies in a Hospital setting. 

One of the toughest job's in the world is being a parent and having to go through a pregnancy with this little life growing inside you is the stuff that miracles are made of. I can imagine a Mother of a newborn child sitting in hospital after giving birth with the feeling of relief that the labour was over, and that her baby was in safe hands, being checked over by the Nurses and Doctors. It's an incredibly vulnerable position to be in and it's very important that a Mother is given the proper care and support she needs as well as the newborn baby. In this case we saw babies who all of a sudden started to deteriorate very quickly out of nowhere and apparently when these poor babies had met their end, there seemed to be the common factor that Lucy Letby was always present. 

As you know in the beginning at the hospital in question (Countess of Chester) parents often trusted the medical staff to look after their babies, but one by one these little angels were passing away and nobody could understand it. There was a lot of evidence pointing in the direction of Lucy Letby after an investigation had been made. She was eventually arrested, convicted and sentenced to 15 life sentences. As horrific as this case has been, the conclusion to the trial should have been the end of it all, but opinions were divided and it's continued to this very day. 

After I had published my posts, I was being sent emails and messages with various information about Lucy Letby. There is a strong number of people who are in support of her having a re-trial. I have to be honest and say that I thought in the beginning that this was appalling and disrespectful to the victims and their families. I was being asked to sign petitions and write about her supposed 'innocence' on my blog. 

After following this case for the past few years and watching this documentary some things have been made clear to me and it is a fact that she did not have a fair trial but do I think she is innocent? In the documentary you could see in the police camera footage Lucy's demeanour whilst they were in her house. I remember thinking how child-like she was and almost acting like a scared or confused teenage girl. At one point during her arrest she naively asked the police if they were going to search her house and then requested if she could cuddle her cat. 

Call it shock but her reaction to everything that was happening was quite interesting for someone who had been accused of the deaths of a number of babies. You'd expect there to be a lot of emotion, screaming, protests of innocence. Lucy just had this whole aura of the game being up for her. When she cuddled her cat it made me wonder because Lucy like a lot of us saw her cats as her babies, her children, and it was like she knew that she wasn't going to be coming back. If you were 100% innocent, you'd say goodbye to your Cats or your Dogs but usually in a quick manner because you knew you'd be seeing them later. 

Lucy is very close to her parents and in my opinion they babied her for a lot of her life. So she was a fully grown adult woman with a responsible role but her parents were still at her beck and call. I'm not an expert but it almost seemed that there was two sides to Lucy, the side that she had shown her parents, relatives and friends, and the other side that was on that hospital ward. To her parents, relatives and friends, she was a gentle character so it was extremely hard for them to believe that there was the possibility that she could have an evil streak in her. In her police interrogation sessions, she would lie about certain things, for example having 250 personal medical documents which contained details about her alleged victims, she claimed she just put them in her pocket and forget to get rid of them. She claimed to not have a shredder in the house but the police found one in working order in one of her rooms. 

She claimed not to have known about a certain baby's death and medical history but she had notes about the child in her diary as well as medical documents. Another thing that flagged up to me was when she told investigators that she was distraught that she had been let go from the medical unit and that colleagues had suspected that she had been the cause of the deaths. She said she felt guilty that she had possibly been responsible for what had happened to them. She still claimed that she was innocent but she was blaming herself and anything that she had written down on papers in her house was because she was feeling depressed and felt that her colleagues were against her. A therapist reportedly advised her to write down her feelings as a way to off-load. 

In the documentary we heard from other experts who claim that there is a huge possibility that Lucy is innocent and they believe that she should have a re-trial. To the experts that believe Lucy to be guilty, they say that these certain experts are only able to produce theories and not actual evidence to support what they're saying.

Expert witnesses were not called for the defence during Lucy's trial which is puzzling but maybe her team thought that she was without hope? A lot of evidence pointed towards Lucy, do I think she is guilty? I can't say 100% for sure, she could be guilty for some of the heartbreaking deaths of some of the babies but there might be a cover-up to protect other colleagues who could have also been responsible? So many questions and so little answers. The answers we have gotten, a lot of them don't make any sense. As painful as it is and my heart goes out to all of the victims, the parents and their families....I think there should be a re-trial and the presentation of the defence's arguments and explanations together with actual evidence that could explain the other possible reasons for the deaths of these little babies. 

Another thought in my mind was the possibility that Lucy had a split personality disorder, the angelic side that she had shown to her parents and those close to her. Then the other side who could possibly be responsible for carrying out these horrific murders but almost being in a trance whilst she carried her crimes out. So to her, she may have felt like someone else was harming these poor babies? As part of a possible re-trial it would also be interesting to have a few opinions about Lucy's actual mental state. 

I think the documentary was interesting and did throw up some pieces of information which may have not been available to the public before. But I can see from online socials, emails and talking to relatives that there is very much still that divide of opinion. I think there should be a re-trial where everything is laid on the table, both sides of the argument for and against together with evidence so that Lucy has a fair trial. This may reveal that she was indeed 100% guilty of everything she was accused of or she could be guilty of some of the deaths. Which could also open up a can of worms because investigations would have to be held into her colleagues and could possibly reveal that other people were also responsible for the deaths but this is just me speculating not saying that this is the case. The fact is that as painful as it is, the victims, their parents and their families have to know the 100% truth of what happened and who was possibly responsible? It would also put to bed the endless speculation and public pressure for answers. 

This was a case that threw everything into the spotlight and highlighted the struggles that we have within the NHS. Staff are very much overworked and underpaid that's been the unfortunate fact for years. Sometimes it's all about hitting targets, covering up scandals, making money and protecting pensions and reputations. 

I don't know what the outcome of this documentary will mean for Lucy Letby, the public demand for a re-trial is there so it all depends. I know that I will be continuing to follow any new developments but my heart always goes out to the babies and their parents. 

What are your true thoughts after watching the documentary? Are your views the same or have they changed? Let me know in the comments below or email me in confidence at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com 

I hope to see you elsewhere on my socials, you can find all of my links here

As always, please stay safe and I hope you will join me for the next post x

This is one of those horrendous cases that just gets worse and worse the more you get into the sickening details of it. I had this case requested by one of my readers last year and as I sat down the other night to do my research to finally cover it, I felt sick every time my pen hit my pad as I took my notes. I was determined to see it through though as difficult as that is and share this story with you, for those who have not heard about it. I warn you to brace yourself for this because I can't even put into words the pure evil that is pictured above in this post. Those eyes...those cold, dead, soulless eyes that belong to Damien Bendall. 

That name might ring a bell to those of my readers and friends that live here in the UK but further afield you might be not be familiar with this particular monster until this moment. As we move through the post (as I stated in the beginning) the details shared will become more difficult and I understand if you cannot continue further, I just wanted to warn you before proceeding. So let's take a deep breath and get into this deeply disturbing nightmare of a case....

Terri Harris was a beautiful, kind and caring 35 year old woman who worked very hard in her role as a careworker looking after vulnerable people at a care facility. It was always in her nature to help others and was always the type of friend who would give you advice and support when times were hard. She was also a very loving mother to her two children, Lacey and John-Paul. Originally a London girl with a huge obsession with the football team 'West Ham', Terri had a great sense of humour and was both a girly girl and a bit of a tom boy too. Never one to shy away from hardwork she also taught her children how to appreciate the little things in life as well as the importance of manners. 

When Terri was 17 she moved to Sheffield with her mother and it must have been quite a difference for her from London. Being the outgoing and bubbly girl that she was it didn't take that long for her to settle in and make friends as well as a romantic interest. Terri met a handsome young man named Jason Bennett and the pair fell deeply in love and eventually married, having the two beautiful children, Lacey and John-Paul. The couple had been through a lot together in their 15 years, you could say that they also grew up together but sadly as some situations can go, they began to drift apart although they still cared about each other. It got to the point that they both decided that the marriage was no longer going to work but they were determined to remain friends and do their best for the children. Jason was in regular contact with Lacey and John-Paul and they were able to work things out where, despite the breakdown of the marriage, the children still felt that they could have a close, regular relationship with their father. 

Whilst I was doing my research about this case, I had various things going through my mind but I did think a lot about Jason and how all of what later happened must have affected him (and obviously still affects him to this very day). There was this beautiful woman who he fell in love with, married, spend years with and had two adorable children with and then.....the most unthinkable, horrendous nightmare of events that came later. Jason lost so much in the most horrendously cruel and evil way. I cannot even begin to imagine what he must be going through. 

So, Terri found herself now a single mother of 2 children at the age of 35 and she was still wanting to have a romantic life which is understandable, she worked hard, did her best for the children and she just wanted some fun time for herself. Lacey was like a little doll at just 11 years old with beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair, she was like a little star, a Diva in the making. She enjoyed acting, performing and dancing. She loved to attend dance classes and was a very loving and giving child. John-Paul was more laid back but wore his heart on his sleeve, always well mannered and polite. There was no mistake about it, Terri and Jason had done a wonderful job raiding these two amazing children. Lacy and John-Paul were close too, they may have had little disagreements here and there but on the whole they surprisingly got on really well for a brother and sister, they were very good at sharing and being patient with each other. 

Terri had been working so hard and missed the feeling of romance in her life and had talked to friends who were members of an online dating site. She was nervous at first but decided to take the plunge and sign up, not knowing what to expect. As predicted she did get some creepy messages and didn't think it was going to be worth the bother but then one guy looked quite promising....a guy who she thought was quite attractive, who loved football (a different team to her beloved West Ham but that didn't bother her), seemed to be a bit of a joker, a charmer and very much a masculine man. He had tattoos and knew what to say to her to get the butterflies going in her stomach. As the weeks went on the feelings and attraction was obviously mutual and it went from messages on the site to phone calls and texts to meeting for dates. 

In person 31 year old Damien Bendall was all stories and 'Jack The Lad' persona but this excited Terri, he had a bit of a 'bad boy' streak about him and would brag about certain things that he had supposedly done in the past. What Terri didn't know about him was that he was full of hot air to put it politely. He didn't tell her the real truth about himself or his 'real' past but he loved to brag that he was a bit of a hard case and if anyone dare upset him three times then it would be the last thing they ever did. A lot of people who knew him described him as very much a 'plastic gangster' who had watched the movie 'The Football Factory' one too many times and fancied himself as bit of a Danny Dyer type of guy. It was all a bit pathetic to be honest and does make one wonder what on earth Terri saw in him but he was good at saying the right things to make her feel good. 

Red flags were there for all to see from day one but for some reason Terri chose to brush them aside and I mean that as no disrespect to her. Sometimes when you fall in love you kinda let some things slide but some of the red flags were too shocking to ignore but she believed that she could change him. He bragged about being a Chelsea Football Club fan and had tattoos dedicated to the club as well as scarves and T-shirts. His knuckles were tattooed 'True Blue' as a tribute to the team....all of this but he'd never actually set foot in the club's grounds! Even more disturbing was his legs were covered in Nazi tattoos, he was obsessed with Nazis but when asked a question about Nazi Germany during WW2 he had no clue how to answer, he had absolutely no idea of the history of the Nazis or Germany but he like to pose because he thought the tattoos made him look like a hard man. 

Damien Bendall was a fantasist who just made ridiculous stories up about himself as he went along. The truth was, that he was a pathetic career criminal who had been committing petty crime since childhood. He was involved in numerous thefts and committed acts of arson for which he was in and out of prison. One of the most horrific facts of his past which demonstrates the sheer evil and sick mind of this monster (and a horrible taste of what he was capable of) was his attitude towards animals. A friend of his had a dog who was very ill and he couldn't afford to take the animal to a vet. Damien offered to sort out his friend's dilemma by offering to kill the dog. He said ''I'll do it for free....with a brick.''

The evil and sick monster killed the dog with the brick and acted like the whole thing was no problem. 

Terri and Damien were growing closer very fast and couldn't keep their hands off of each other so it was no surprise when she fell pregnant. Terri's mother and friends were very concerned because they'd not long met online and she'd fallen very hard and fast for him and now she was pregnant. Despite concerns from those closest to her, Terri decided to follow her heart and moved from Sheffield with the children to a place called Killamarsh in Derbyshire into a house with Damien. So basically in a matter of months, they'd met online, met up, fell in love, Terri fell pregnant and now they were all moving in together, all in the space of 5 months. Despite the red flags, Nazi tattoo's on the legs, things not adding up and......the fact that Damien was a serious drug addict didn't seem to fan any flames for Terri. Damien was taking drugs at various points of the day, it wasn't just a social habit, he needed a hit first thing in the morning and he also had alcohol issues too. He had been having issues with hard drugs and alcohol since his teens. He was also prone to mood swings especially if he couldn't get high. It's not known to what level Terri was privy to this but living with someone 24/7 you would think that she would have an idea but none of us know how the situation played out, he may have taken drugs in the bathroom away from the family, who knows? 

Terri knew he had issues and to what extent remains unclear but she told loved ones and friends that she wanted to help him. He was always in and out of trouble and ended up getting on the wrong side of the law again after committing another act of arson. He was placed on probation and had a tag on his ankle to monitor him for curfew. He was bailed to Terri's address and this was a huge, terrifying mistake because Damien Bendall was a ticking timebomb who was continuing to spiral without the drugs. He attended regular meetings with his probation officer and several warning signs were not noted especially when he threatened that he would murder Terri and her children if the relationship was ever to turn sour. He was a highly dangerous individual and a real threat to Terri and the children but despite his unhinged behaviour and terrifying outbursts and threats, he was deemed 'medium risk' instead of 'high risk'. In reality, Damien Bendall should have been locked up but they just let him walk out, it was a pathetic and downright dangerous thing for the probation team to do. It wasn't just the one officer who dealt with him, there was others too and all of them turned a blind eye. 

So Damien Bendall was in the house with Terri, Lacey, John-Paul and Lacey's friend Connie on the evening of the 18th of September 2021. It was a typical Saturday night and the girls had been out in the park earlier. They had set up a little stall trying to sell sweets to help raise money for Cancer Research. Connie Gent was also just 11 years old and a very good friend of Lacey's. The girls had similar personalities and loved to do things to help other people. Connie was invited to stay over at the house that night and the girls were getting ready to go to the bedroom. John-Paul was getting ready to go to his room too. As the children were getting ready for bed, Damien Bendall was downstairs pacing the floor trying to call his drug dealer over and over again and getting more frustrated. He'd been taking drugs all day long and had run out of them, he wanted cocaine. 

For some horrendous reason Damien Bendall picked up a claw hammer and decided he was going to go on a sickening rampage in that house. He attacked his pregnant partner Terri brutally smashing her skull with the claw hammer. The scene was later described as a bloodbath. He then marched upstairs and found 13 year old John-Paul in the bathroom, the poor little boy enduring the same horrific fate as his mother and unborn brother/sister. He then made his way to where the girls were and using the same method, he murdered 11 year old Connie before turning his attentions to Lacey. Both Lacey and John-Paul was later to have been found during autopsy that they had defensive wounds on their arms indicating that they tried to fight for their lives, it's unbelievably heartbreaking. 

Lacey was the last to be murdered and the monster took his time with her as if he had planned it. He later told investigators another pack of lies saying that he had blacked out during the murders and had no idea what he was doing, but that sick freak knew fine well what he was doing! It was like he was acting out a sick fantasy that he had harboured in his mind for some time. Lacey was attacked with the claw hammer and whilst the poor child lay bleeding and dying from her horrific head injuries, he r*ped her, not once but twice and the second time he even placed a mirror in front of himself and Lacey so he could watch himself as he did it. He r*aped Lacey as she lay dying and then committed this horrendous and sickening act of pure evil again when she was deceased. 

He cleaned himself up a little bit but still had some blood on him, he put the games console in a bag and was seen pacing about the streets trying to sell this games console. At some point he had gotten into a taxi and the driver asked him if he had been having a good night to which he replied ''Not too bad....a bit mad.''

He managed to get his hands on some drugs and made his way back to Terri's house where he tried to pathetically end his life with a bread knife but like all raving psychotic narcissists, he couldn't bring himself to do that much damage to himself. He ended up calling the police at 7:26 am that Sunday morning declaring 'I've just murdered 4 people.''

Killamarsh was not known for criminal activity, it was quite a laid back place with nothing much happening but this case shocked the local community to it's core. The police arrived at the house to find Damien Bendall sat outside wearing a long black coat looking calm. There was no red eyes, not a tear to be seen, no emotion at all. The police noticed that he had blood on him and he explained that he had harmed himself with a knife. He told the police what he had done and they called for backup. Keeping him outside, some of the police went in to check the scene and what they found was utterly horrendous. Damien was arrested and taken to the police station.

Throughout everything he never shed a tear, no apologies, no regrets. He joked about the fact that Killamarsh was not used to murder and asked if he had technically murdered five people instead of 4 because Terri was pregnant. He confessed to the murders but not the horrific r*apes. During the autopsy of Lacey's body this sickening fact was discovered with his DNA so he knew there was no getting away from that either. He confessed to everything and was charged with four counts of first degree murder and r*pe of a child under 13. 

In December of 2022, Damien Bendall was given a whole life order meaning he will never leave prison alive. 

Since Damien has been behind bars he has continued to be involved in trouble, in a recent incident he tried to murder a fellow inmate with a hammer. He is set to begin his attempted murder trial in March this year (2026 at time of writing). 

The horrendous failing of the probation staff was called into question and a thorough investigation took place where over 50 failings were found. Apparently they have made a lot of huge changes and spent millions on training, hiring new staff and changing procedures to ensure that this never happens again. Let's hope that it never ever does. 

RIP Terri, your unborn baby, Lacey, John-Paul and Connie. I wish you were still here and you should still be with us. My thoughts also to Jason and the families and friends of all involved. It's so difficult to know what to say but my heart is with them all. 

Further Reading & Sources:

- Damien Bendall: Article | Durham Police

- Damien Bendall: Article | BBC News

- Damien Bendall: Article | The Guardian

- Killamarsh Murders | Wikipedia

- Damien Bendall: Article | The Independent

- Damien Bendall: Court Documents

This was so difficult to write about and research. I know it was a very harrowing read too and I appreciate it if you have made it this far in this post. Thank you to my reader who requested this case and I hope you will all join me in my next post. In the meantime please come say hello on my Socials

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As always, please stay safe and I'll see you next time x

I'm still working on my book as we speak whilst bringing you content here on my blog every week. I'm keeping the exact details of the book under wraps because I'm such a perfectionist and I want it to be perfect! It was never my intention to rush into publishing a book for the sake of it, if I'm going to do it then I'm going to do it right (All of a sudden Wham just popped up in my head lol). 

Anyway, I hope to publish it this year and in the meantime, if you would like to help me with materials, my weekly content etc, please make a donation to my PayPal if you can: here!

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I hope the beginning of 2026 has been kind to you so far and I hope to see you on my Socials too.

Much love x Jo