*Please be aware that the details shared in this post are quite disturbing. I have tried, as always to share the details in a sensitive manner without taking away from the facts of the case. If you have any comments about this post, please leave them below or email me in confidence at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com*
Fiona Beal was known by her colleagues and young pupils as a friendly, funny and outgoing teacher who always had time for everyone. She could be the life and soul of the party when she was with her friends and work colleagues, and a primary school teacher who really knew how to keep the kids entertained. She was always known to be professional with such a passion for her job and a real caring approach to the children that she taught, nobody really had a bad word to say about her.
So on the 8th of March of 2022, people close to Fiona (50) were becoming very concerned about her over recent weeks and months. She had been acting strange and at first it seemed that she was going through some sort of burn-out but she had recently told friends that her long-term relationship with her younger partner (42 year old Nicholas Billingham) had broken down and he'd moved out of their home to be with another woman. The breakdown of this relationship of 17 years had appeared to have taken it's toll on Fiona and her behaviour was concerning.
After a string of text messages from Fiona which sounded very much like she was attempting to take her own life, concerned friends and relatives had contacted the police to do a welfare check and shockingly they found that she had been in the bathtub of a holiday home, alone and had attempted to end her life. The police did their best to support her and took her to the hospital where she made a full recovery. Everyone was relieved that the police had gotten there in time. However, when a search was done of the holiday home, a diary was found which the police had looked through as a way to try and understand her mental state as well as thinking about handing it over to mental health professionals who would be able to better support Fiona. What they found in the diary was shocking, they were expecting some personal thoughts from a woman who was depressed but what they found was a woman who had documented her turbulent relationship with a younger man and the fact that she had murdered him.
The more investigators delved into the diary, the more disturbing details emerged with every page. Nicholas (who worked as a builder and had lived at a house in Northampton, England with Fiona) had been reported missing by relatives four months earlier after he had apparently ran off with another woman who he'd been seeing behind Fiona's back. Fiona had told everyone that knew the couple that things had continued to sour between the pair and Nicholas just left her to start a new life. Despite the fact that Nicholas had infidelities in the relationship before, nobody could understand why he would suddenly leave his job which he very much enjoyed and had stopped all contact with family and friends.
For a short time after Nicholas had apparently left Fiona, there was text messages to friends and family from his phone which indicated that he had been suffering with ill health due to Covid. Then other excuses would be sent about how he had left Fiona for a new life. The situation puzzled everyone and nobody knew what to make of any of it. Fiona continued to go to work after her so-called break up with Nicholas and had even decided to redecorate the house. Her friends saw this as a way for Fiona to try and move on. Fiona had told friends that she had tried to contact Nicholas about selling the house and he would send back very rude messages telling her to leave him alone.
For months, Fiona continued to go to work and would invite people over for dinner, including Nicholas's own mother. Fiona appeared to have been holding everything together despite the end of her relationship but the realty was, she was struggling and for all the wrong reasons because it wasn't just a straight-forward break-up.
The pressure became too much for Fiona Beal, she couldn't keep the act up, people were asking too many questions all the time. There was also the fact that Nicholas's work van was found just around the corner, why wouldn't he take that with him? She sank into a deep depression and had to get away from the house. She decided that she wanted to end her own life, the guilt became way too much to carry.
In the diary which the police had shared with Doctors in the hospital and the mental health team, detailed how just months earlier, Fiona had decided that she had, had enough of (what she called) Nicholas's abuse. With every page she described how Nicholas would drag her down piece by piece. He would apparently make fun of her weight, her looks and her cooking. She said he would put her down in every single way you could imagine and he would also spit in her face during sex. Fiona claimed that he had destroyed her confidence and self esteem to the point that he would cheat on her time and again but she would just put up with it because he made her feel worthless and told her that nobody else would want her. Being older than he was he would often make nasty comments about her appearance. To say the relationship was truly toxic, is an understatement.
Instead of walking away from the relationship, Fiona claimed that her self-worth had been completely destroyed so she felt stuck and started to fall into a fantasy world of thoughts where she would get revenge somehow. She created a character called 'Tulip 22'. Tulip 22 was the side of Fiona that did have the confidence and was also powerful. She felt in control when she tapped into her 'Tulip 22' side. In the diary she had detailed how she had set up Nicholas by running him a relaxing bath with promises of a romantic, sensual evening. She made it clear that she was in the mood for sex and wanted to play one of their role-playing games, As much as a rat-bag that Nicholas reportedly was (other people did confirm that he had the habit of ending up in bed with other women and had put Fiona down in front of others in the past) he wasn't going to turn down the offer of a night of passion. After his bath he went into the bedroom and Fiona had set it all up for him to be blindfolded and tied to the bed which he was happy to go along with.
A night of passion was not what Fiona had in mind, as soon as he was on the bed, tied and blindfolded....she plunged a knife deep into his neck killing him within a matter of seconds, blood was all over the place, it was horrific. Fiona didn't waste any time attempting to clean up the crime scene and try to cover her tracks. Relatives and friends were told not to come near the house because the pair had Covid and were told by Doctors to self-isolate. She wrapped up Nicholas's body and buried him in the garden, she told everyone she was giving the house and garden a makeover. She dragged the blood-soaked mattress down to the cellar and left it there. She used Nicholas's phone to text colleagues and relatives to give the disturbing appearance that he was still alive. She also used his phone to text herself to make it look like they were having an argument and that he was telling her to 'F*ck Off' and leave him alone.
For months nobody suspected anything was wrong, they believed the story that Fiona had told them, that Nicholas had run of with another woman, people actually felt sorry for Fiona. Nobody who knew her could believe she would be capable of such a horrendous crime and to do that to someone you have been in a relationship with for 17 years is just unbelievable.
An excerpt of Fiona's diary was as follows:
October 2021. ''He spat on me and threatened me during sex. I knew then that … [X] ..had been telling the truth. I thought about laving but the things he said and did fueled [sic] my dark side – I call her Tulip 22, she’s reckless, fearless and efficient! Ruthless. I started plotting as Tulip 22 after he’d gone to bed. I could no longer sleep in the bed due to my breathing being so loud or I moved too much or I was snoring or etc, etc, I would go downstairs after sex and even when I was unwell.
I got used to sleeping downstairs and waited for him to go to bed and then got high and let Tulip 22 out. I knew I couldn’t let him get away with it. Halloween sealed it. He was vile. I sat on the kitchen floor and wept as I witnesses the abuse I had allowed to happen. I allowed so much bad to happen. That night I planned. Covid rules meant I had a guaranteed 10 day isolation period from positive symptoms. I called Clair on the Monday and said we’d tested positive and had symptoms. He went to work. Tulip 22 smoked and planned. I’d planned it mentally so many times before. The knife cut my dressing gown pocket Mon. Nov 1st …… I had smoked all day. I had a bath. I left the water in.
He had been pushing for sex. I encouraged the bath with the incentive of sex afterwards. While he was in the bath I kept the knife in my dressing gown pocket and then hid it in the drawer next to the bed. I brought a chisel, bin bag and cable ties up too. I got him to wear an eye mask. It was harder than I thought it would be. Hiding his body was bad. Moving a body is much more difficult than it looks on TV. I started to believe the cover story. Flashes interrupted…..''
The diary was the smoking gun and it was obvious that Fiona could no longer handle the lies and the knowledge of what she had done. The only regret she seemed to have was that she didn't leave Nicholas sooner. Even after she had brutally killed him and buried his body in the garden under rubble like he was a piece of trash on a dump site, there was no shred of remorse or sadness just anger at how he had treated her. She blamed him for everything, said that he had drove her to it. She believed he was fully responsible for the person that she had become. She wished that she had left him but she felt powerless because she took on board all the things he had said to her.
Fiona confessed to the murder of Nicholas Billingham and was sentenced to a minimum of 20 years. She said that his last words to her was 'Why?'
Nicholas's mother admitted that her son was no angel and had made mistakes but did not deserve what had happened to him. As well as losing her beloved son, she had to deal with the fact that his body had been buried in the garden and had laid there for 4 months. She thought back to the many times that she would drop in to visit Fiona for a coffee, even though she was under the belief that Nicholas was no longer with Fiona, they kept a friendly relationship. It deeply traumatized his mother (as it would to anyone) that she was basically standing a few feet away from her deceased son and had no idea, plus she had trusted this woman that she thought she had known for 17 years who turned out to be a cold-murderer.
RIP to Nicholas Billingham & thoughts go out to his family and friends.
Further Reading & Sources:
- The Murder of Nicholas Billingham | The Crown Prosecution Service
- Fiona Beal: Article | BBC News
- Killer In The House: Documentary | ITVX
- DCI Adam Pendlebury | Case Discussion Segment
- Public Statements After Verdict | Sky News
- Sentencing Remarks | Judiciary UK
This case was not only a heavily disturbing story but another example of how the female can be just as deadly as the male. Fiona was a very well-liked primary school teacher who sang songs with little children and would be a shoulder to cry on with friends. She was respected, admired and was approachable but no matter how lovely someone may appear, you never know what is going on and in this case, she could have walked away. Investigators say that her writings in her diary about being abused and not being able to leave are exaggerated. They claim that Fiona had plenty of opportunities to leave Nicholas, there were plenty of relatives and friends she could have turned to and stayed with. She also had money, a car and other means to escape if she really wanted to. There was no history of violence reported to the police. I have to point out that I'm aware that people can be psychologically controlled by someone to the point that they feel they can't leave, even if they do have access to a car etc. I'm also very much aware that just because there is no history of domestic violence on police record, that doesn't mean that there is no history of domestic violence. We know that the majority of cases are sadly not reported to the police.
If you are experiencing psychological or physical abuse in your relationship, please try and reach out for help (I know it's extremely difficult and frightening but please know that you are not alone and feel free to reach out to me if that helps, I will keep everything confidential, you can email me at jocaledoniankitty@gmail.com and if you're in trouble and need help, in the email just say that you are a big fan of my blog and would love to take part in my quiz about true crime. I will do what I can to help). If you can get access to a phone or computer, please reach out to the following if you can:
In the UK:
Refuge (24 Hour Free Helpline) 0808 2000 247 / https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
Woman's Aid: https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/
Victim Support: 08 08 16 89 111 / https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/domestic-abuse/
In the USA:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Message: 88788 or call (800) 799-7233 / https://www.thehotline.org/
Worldwide:
List of Worldwide Domestic Abuse Helplines
Such a horrific story and I appreciate it if you have made it this far in the post. I hope you will join me in the next one In the meantime, I hope you see you on my Socials
Take care and stay safe until next time....
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