My Stalker Story: Part One ''What Was I Thinking'' | Personal Post

I've been thinking about posting this story for a while but never got round to it. I think maybe I was holding back because it is quite a personal thing for me to open up about and not something I particularly enjoy remembering. I do think it's important to share my story to help others and maybe help people recognise the signs if they are in a similar situation.
This is probably going to be a long story so I'm going to cut it down into parts and post them separately otherwise you'll be here all night reading lol

So let's start at the beginning......

About six years ago I worked in a high paced target driven job in the city and I had been there for about 10 months when I started to feel really burnt out. It wasn't a particularly nice place to work because you were constantly busy and the pressure was always high. I was exhausted and living on coffee & 4 hours of sleep per night. 

It got to the point where I wanted to quit the job but I knew that I couldn't because I had bills to pay so I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. There was this guy at work who I didn't really know that well but he always seemed polite and one day I was having a stressful morning with a customer and needed somewhere to sit and chill for 5 minutes just to get my head together (we had no proper staff room in the building and I didn't fancy going outside in the rain) and M (we'll call him 'M') came out of his office and asked if I wanted to go in there for a quick coffee. 

I thought it was nice of him and I went into his office where we had a nice chat and he told me he was thinking of leaving the job too. He paid me some nice compliments about my work and said that he could see how hard a worker I was, he seemed concerned and told me to look after myself and get some proper rest. I thought this was nice of him and it was a relief that someone else was going through a similar situation and understood how I felt. 

Fast forward a few weeks and I end up popping into his office for a coffee and a chat every lunch time and we got on really well. I wasn't thinking of anything romantic, I just saw him as a good friend. I still didn't know that much about him but he did tell me he was divorced and had a son. 

Jump forward to about a month and he started to make it clear that he liked me more than a friend, he would do sweet things for me, such as bringing me sandwiches at lunch time and sometimes we'd go out for lunch. As you can imagine, rumours started flying around at work. I wasn't bothered and neither was he. 

This then progressed to us hanging out after work. I would always go to Starbucks after work and he started to join me. We'd have a coffee and chat till Starbucks closed and then we'd drive around and sit and talk about life, things in general. I enjoyed his company and he seemed like a really nice, down to earth person. Things got closer between us and it ended up where we spend quite a lot of time together. I thought it was sweet at the time how he would constantly text me and insist on meeting me every morning before work. 

Things were going well for a few weeks and everyone at work knew what was going on, some thought it was nice and some seemed to be (what I thought at the time) jealous. We just ignored them. One day I walked into his office unannounced and he nearly jumped out of his skin, he quickly changed the page on his computer. I asked if he was ok and he was all flustered and said yes. I noticed before he changed the screen that he was actually in an email conversation with someone, I couldn't make out what was in the email but noticed a female name. He said that he was talking to his cousin who was getting married and she needed his advice on something.

I didn't think anything about it, after all he basically wouldn't give me 5 minutes to myself so I wasn't thinking that he was seeing someone else, where would he find the time? 

We'd been seeing each other for a couple of months and spent so much time together. He started asking me if I would be interested in having children which I thought was a bit too soon and sort of laughed it off but he was serious. I would do my best to try and change the subject but he would get more persistent and he started banging on about marriage too. I was wondering what the rush was, I just thought he was a bit too smitten (couldn't resist my charms ha ha). He started asking questions about my period and told me that he wanted me to eat more so that I would put on weight. I found this all a bit odd and it ended up where we would have arguments. 

He started to try and tell me what to do, he said he preferred my hair up in a ponytail, he didn't want me to speak to male colleagues and he even accused my female friends (not to their faces) of wanting a lesbian affair with me.

It was starting to become a real hassle and I really wanted some space. I was thinking about how I was going to end it but he would start crying and say that he would kill himself. I couldn't cope any longer with my job and told him that I was going to hand my notice in and he went crazy and begged me not to do it or he would harm himself. I didn't know what to do or think at this point, I'd never been in a relationship like this before and didn't know what to do with a guy sat in front of my hysterically crying. He would apologise and beg for another chance, said that he would change. Part of me wanted to run for the hills but the other part knew that he'd make things difficult for me if I broke up with him. 

He seemed to calm down for about a week and one day we were walking down the street holding hands when he suddenly dropped my hand. I asked him what was wrong and he said 'Shh, just keep walking, keep walking''. He was acting strange and suddenly I heard a male voice from behind us getting closer shouting ''M''. The next minute this guy caught up with us and had an angry look on his face. ''What do you think you're doing'', this guy said to him and he replied that he was doing nothing, that he was just talking to a friend. They continued to argue and a big scene was made. 

Ready for the bombshell?.... (you probably already guessed it), This guy was his WIFE's brother (Oh, yes....turns out that M was a married man). So I was stood there not knowing what was going on and not knowing where to look. I ended walking away from the pair of them. I had no idea what to do or what was going but it sounded to me like this guy was someone's brother, maybe a girl that M had messed around or something, either way I didn't want involved in it and I headed straight to the train station. 

The whole thing became even more of a farce with the pair of them chasing me to the train station. M was chasing me and the Wife's brother was chasing him. I got on the train (which was completely empty....thank god but the doors were open) and M got on with his Wife's brother and kept shouting ''Tell him Jo, tell him there's nothing going on between us, tell him we are just friends''. I had no clue what to do and I kept looking at him and the angry brother. I was speechless and then I finally found some words, I don't know why but I said to the Wife's brother ''We are just friends, nothing's going on''. Of course this was pathetic cause the guy had seen him holding my hand but I was scared, shocked and confused all rolled into one. 

The train doors were about to close and this debacle was still going on with the two of them shouting and the wife's brother shouting at me ''Do you know he's got a wife and son, do you?'' and I just sat there glued to the seat and speechless, not knowing what to do. As the train left the station my blood was rushing through my veins and I didn't know whether to cry or be angry, I remember feeling sick and a bit humiliated. I couldn't get my head around him being married. How could he spend practically 24/7 with me, harass me to get pregnant and marry him when the whole time he was married? I knew he had a son but he told me he was divorced and because we spent so much time together It didn't look like he was married to me because he was never at home. 

When I got off the train I jumped into a taxi and I felt numb, it's like I couldn't cry. I felt like a homewrecker or something even though I didn't know he was married I still felt sick and I imagined his wife, being sat at home waiting for him with their child and it made me feel horrendous. The taxi driver dropped me off a few houses down from where I lived because there was some roadworks on my street. I got out the taxi and my phone was going like was him! I ignored the phone and carried on walking, I noticed a car outside my house with the lights on and.... yes you guessed it, it was him and I remember thinking ''bloody go away you make me sick''. He got out of the car and got on his knees in front of me, crying and shouting in the street.

Continued in part two....

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