Creepy Guys On Twitter (NSFW 18+)


If you're reading this post you've probably been one of the many victims of the dreaded creepy guy on Twitter or probably elsewhere on social media. First things first, I'm not blasting all men....just the creepy ones lol. I had a few laughs writing this post and I hope that I don't offend anyone, what's in this post is my experiences and opinions and don't forget, you must be 18 and over to continue reading lol.

I don't know why I've decided to rant about this now, maybe because over the past few weeks I seem to have had a few of them pop up on twitter. There's various types of ''creepy guy'' so I've included the ones that I've had the unfortunate experience of encountering and see if you recognise any of these and include any stories you may have in the comments section below....

Here goes (grab some tea and a snack, it's a long one)...


1) The Dick Pic Guy:


This guy will appear to have a normal looking twitter account, he may like the same music as you and may even reply to your posts with some kind words. So you may think that he's perfectly safe to follow back on twitter (like I did lol). Then one day you may find yourself casually eating your cornflakes and checking your twitter messages to find in your direct messages a close up picture of someones penis!! it may even have a quote attached to it with something like ''How do you like my big sausage or get your lips around this''. Your first reaction is probably shock, followed by a feeling of humiliation and anger. These things usually come out of nowhere, you didn't ask it to happen they just sent you it. I've never understood why these types of guys send women dick pics, if anyone has an answer for this please let me know cause I don't find anything sexy about it. Are we supposed to be happy about this? do they think we are going to stop everything we are doing the minute we see a pic of their penis and jump their bones? Whatever happened to being a gentlemen or having proper conversation? I've never heard of women doing this to men, am I wrong? let me know lol.


2) The Constant Questions Guy:


If you follow me on my personal Twitter page (I call it personal because that's where I tweet all kinds of random crap about what I've had for dinner, what show I've watched etc) you'll probably know that I'm a fan of Depeche Mode, Morrissey and 80s music. This shows that I have good taste (lol) but it also leaves me open to more chances of creepy guys following me. I have some fabulous people, male and female, who follow me and love the same music that I do and we get on great but the creepy guys are another case entirely. It usually starts with a few questions (what's you favourite album, song, video etc) which at first is fine, no problem with that but these types of guys seem to think that because you've answered a few of these questions that all of a sudden it's ok for them to pop up in your direct messages and continue the conversation there (red flag). I can't stand that!! it's like, why are you not asking me this on the public timeline? You'll find them jumping straight to it (they don't waste no time). ''I'm so glad you like the same album that I do, btw, what size are them boobs?'' *BLOCKED*


3) The Like/RT Every Tweet Guy:


We all like our posts (especially bloggers) shared/liked/Rtd but what if it's some random guy that isn't even into the blogging scene who is twice our age and into Guns N Roses (not that there's anything wrong with GNR but you know what I mean, at least I hope you do!). Why would he be so interested in young women who are writing about their favourite beauty products? They are obviously Perving over and trying to get your attention somehow. It creeped me out when I found that one of my followers who was doing this very thing to me, I had a look at his following list and it was all young girls, some as young as 15 and this guy was in his 50s!!



4) The Disappearing Guy:


So this guy follows you on twitter and he seems nice enough from what you can see from his twitter page, he may even be married and have children so you think he's mature and nothing to worry about. He may even send you a direct message thanking you for following him back, nothing wrong with that....so far! You may have been following each other for a few weeks and had some everyday conversation, no creepiness or dodgy behaviour, you may even think that this guy is a great friend on twitter. Then one day he wants to tell you something private in the direct messages and because he doesn't strike you as a creepy guy you engage in conversation with him in dms. He tells you something personal like, he's going through anxiety or lost his job and the conversation is a nice one, somewhere along the line you mention that your fiance went through the same thing and then........silence! You find yourself blocked. These are the type of guys that give the appearance of being nice, family guys and that they want to be your friend but as soon as they find out that you're not single they block you.


5) The Troll Guy


These are the ones that don't follow you but always come onto your twitter page to leave comments under your posts which range from odd to offensive. I often gets the ones that like to correct my spelling or ridicule my choice in music or the fact that I'm a vegetarian. I tend to block them and not respond. I did have a few words with some nutcase a few days ago who left me a tirade about how all vegans are weirdos. I think this guy (no profile picture and hardly any followers) had personal issues and decided that he was going to class all vegans as weirdos and proceed to tell me all the things wrong with being a vegan. I did my best to educate him but gave up in the end and just blocked.


6) The Dirty DJ


I was wondering if I should've wrote a full separate post about this but I thought that would be too risky and people would catch on to who it was so I thought I'd just hide it in here lol. People might even catch on to who it is as they read this but I'm not naming names ha ha! So you'll no that I'm an 80s gal (I feel that this will give a big clue....oops!) and I used to spend a certain night of the week listening to this particular show. The DJ never played my requests which got on my nerves and I began to think that he didn't like my choices or he thought that I was too young lol, a lot of the people who listen to his show are in late 40s/early 50s. Also, he was supposed to be playing songs that people had forgotten about but he was playing all the well known 80s songs and always seemed to be from the same people who made requests. I'd almost given up on the show till one morning I noticed that he'd followed me back on Twitter. I was chirpy about this because he had interviewed all of my favourite 80s artists. I decided I would tune in again. The night of his show (which didn't end till really late) I got a direct message and it said ''Tell me 5 things about yourself''. I thought that was an odd random thing to ask a stranger but I thought that it was harmless because he was a DJ for a well known station & had interviewed celebrities so I came up with 5 random things. He would often send me random questions (nothing dodgy) and I thought it was fine, I liked hearing about his celebrity interviews. One Saturday morning he sent me a direct message (he never spoke to me on the public timeline but I thought that was due to the fact that he was a DJ and didn't want people taking it the wrong way or whatever) saying ''Good Morning'', I replied back and asked him what he was up to. he responded ''Well, I have one hand on my phone and the other is stroking my dick''. I nearly spat out my coffee and thought it was some kind of joke. I asked him if he was joking and he said that he was really horny and always wanted a threesome. He said that he had a girlfriend and was looking for someone else who would join in, he asked if I knew anyone. My blood ran cold and I just blocked him. It made my skin crawl. It came as a shock to me especially as he works for a well known station.


7) The Pervy Politician


I know I mentioned before that I was going to be talking about the creepy guys from over the past few weeks but I've also include ones over the years because you might relate to these stories too. This one is from a few years back. This is a politician and he's lucky that I didn't screenshot his messages or make a big deal about this. I'd read years ago about this particular person (I feel like this is another one who you might recognise from what I say here but again I'm not using any names) and their secret swinging parties and affairs that were always in the papers about him. This politician was full of scandals and even took some of the newspapers to court and won. He said he never took part in any sex scandals and played himself off as the devoted husband and family man. He'd took part in some reality TV shows and did this whole 'I'm a reformed character' routine which some people believed, even me. He made a video that went viral, it was about important issues concerning the UK and I thought it was a good, passionate speech. I commented underneath this twitter post with the video that someone had shared and the next thing I knew, this politician started following me. I didn't think anything of it because he followed thousands of people back and was probably grateful for the nice comment and support. We'd been following each other for weeks and didn't have a proper conversation but I noticed that he was liking some of my tweets which were pretty random like 'Please someone bring me some toast & tea in bed' (I didn't mean that in any saucy way, I just couldn't be arsed getting out of bed). He started sending me messages after I paid tribute to a celebrity that passed away and he told me that he thought it was a nice post. We had conversation back and forth and I found him to be an interesting person. I started to notice that he would send me messages really late at night and then out of nowhere the creepy question comes ''I hope you don't mind me asking but do you enjoy physical intimacy?''. I started to think he'd been hacked because these messages, one after the other (I didn't even get a chance to respond) came through about him wanting my phone number, had I been with an older man, do I wear stockings, do I like group sex etc. I felt sick but it was really surreal because this was such a major risk for him. I didn't respond, I thought maybe he was drunk? The next morning I saw that he'd left a ton of messages apologising and begging me to delete everything because he would lose his family. I told him that I'd deleted the messages and that I didn't appreciate getting them in the first place. He thanked me for deleting them and then he blocked me. The whole thing was odd and it showed me that there may have been some truth in what the newspapers had said about him. If I had screenshot those messages and went to the media with this, he would no doubt lose everything and I don't know how it would go with the newspapers that had to settle with him over previous claims of his illicit behaviour. Sometimes it's true when they say that a leopard never changes it's spots!


8) The Bogus Blogger


I'm so glad to see that more men are blogging and I have a few favourite male bloggers but let's be honest, there are some out there that are just trying to get closer to some women. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. There's nothing wrong in wanting to meet the right person and if you're genuine, really into blogging but you're also hoping to strike up a close friendship with someone then that's fine. The thing that makes me feel a bit queasy are the ones that follow all the female bloggers (never men) and pretend to be a 'shoulder to cry on'. They make comments on every girls post telling them how special and beautiful they are and if a girl mentions that they've had a fight with their boyfriend or are single, they zoom right in. One of them I had to block the other day, he tried this routine with me but it failed miserably. He told me I was a beautiful, special girl and that he loved my blog posts and blah blah blah. He said ''Talk to me if you ever need someone to vent too, us bloggers have to stick together''. This might sound nice to other people but it makes my skin crawl and red flags go way up. I've seen this before and the minute you make it clear that they've got no chance, you see the real them come out.


9) The Blocked Guy Who Won't Go Away


When you're a blogger it can be a bit of a pain in the arse when you block someone especially if it's a creepy guy/nutjob that you've blocked. For some reason these types of people have a nervous breakdown because you've blocked them and proceed to either create another account to beg and plead that you unblock them or to call you a nasty cow or something worse. I seem to get the ones who email me. I assume that they get it from my Blog Twitter account or come here onto my blog to get it. I'll get these emails, some are full of apologies and begging me to to unblock them, some are full of hate and I've had one where a guy threatened to kill himself if I didn't unblock him. The others I ignored but the suicidal guy I responded to him. The strange thing is that I blocked him for being a wanker towards me, leaving nasty comments under my posts and then he tells me he's suicidal. It wasn't a joke either. I told him to calm down and not do anything stupid. I unblocked him and we don't even talk to each other lol. He's still on there tweeting so he hasn't harmed himself to my knowledge. Some people take social media far too seriously. 


10) The Kinky Guy


I used to have the nickname 'Puss in knee high boots' (which I included in my twitter bio) because I'm obsessed with knee high boots and it was a play on the name 'Caledonian Kitty' and 'Puss N Boots'. For some reason this attracted a few colourful characters. I tweeted that my feet were killing me and I couldn't wait to take them off and this guy tweeted me asking if he could kiss and lick my boots. He also offered to buy me any shoes that I wanted. He said he was a shoe slave and a 'pay pig'. I told him I could buy my own shoes and thought the whole thing was hilarious. I've never come across anyone in real life with a shoe fetish (not the kind we think about where we just buy tons of shoes but the ones that get off on shoes lol). It made me think of that episode of Sex & The City with the creepy shoe salesman. 


Well, I think that's just about covered it! Who knows, I might be back on here months down the line with more crazy stories to tell you about creepy guys on social media. Make sure you keep yourself safe ladies (and men, I'm sure there's some creepy women out there too lol) and don't accept any crappy, disrespectful treatment from anyone, no matter who they are. You deserve to be treated like a queen.


See you in the next post x 




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