I'd spend 15 hours a day on social media | Personal post

There's been a few discussions lately about social media addiction and it got me thinking of my own experiences. I'm going to be honest, it's embarrassing but I'm going to give it to you real lol. You might want to grab a cup of tea for this one. 

Back in 2009 when I first started twitter my life was a bit of a mess. I'd been fired from my job and struggled to find another one. The bills piled up and the depression set in. I decided to join twitter and see what all the fuss was about and at first I was nervous about what to say and even more nervous to put a picture of myself up.

Along with the depression came the low self esteem plus I felt lonely. A lot of people who get fired from a job get angry about it and then move on, to me it was a personal thing and then not being able to find another job made me think I wasn't good enough, pretty enough. I know it sounds a bit paranoid but this is what was going through my mind at the time.

So I joined twitter and at first I'd post a few tweets here and there but still a bit shy as of what to say and I had a profile picture of a waterfall lol!

Weeks went on and before I knew it, I was on there everyday. I didn't seem to notice the time. I had ''friends'' on my Twitter page and they seemed to be online everyday at the same times that I was. I finally found the courage to put my picture up and people were nice about it which seemed to give me some kind of a confidence boost.

As more and more time went on my daily routine would be: Get up, have breakfast, go online (I didn't get dressed) and I would sit at my laptop till I needed to go to the bathroom or have something to eat. I stopped going out . I stopped looking for work and I didn't return calls either. This sounds crazy but this is what was going on. 

At the time I had no idea how long I was online because I'd got into such a routine with it. I would only come off of the laptop to eat, go to the toilet or if I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open and had to go to bed. 
I was scared to be away from it in case something happened online or someone sent me a message. I was scared that if I wasn't online all the time that I would lose followers. I'd sit up all night till the wee hours of the morning chatting to Americans lol. 

This went on for months and it was spiralling out of control. I wasn't looking after myself. I wasn't eating properly and people were complaining that I never returned calls. A friend would visit and I'd still be popping on the laptop to make sure nothing was happening. I was losing friendships too.

The only thing that saved me was a letter coming through the door from University. I'd applied months before and they wanted me to go for an interview. I was happy at first but then panic set in because I wondered what I was going to do about social media. If I went to the interview that would mean I would be away all day, something online might happen, I might lose followers. Crazy thoughts going through my mind.

On the day of the university interview I was like a kid going to school for the first time. I didn't want to leave my laptop and on the bus on the way to the interview all I could think about was online. I was getting agitated. 

Somehow I managed to pass the Interview and all went well. I felt strange being outside and around people, making conversations was really hard (which was odd for me cause I can usually talk for Scotland) and I got on the bus home. On the bus I was annoyed that the driver wasn't going fast enough. When I got home, I ran through the door and straight to the laptop.

Funny thing is, I had messages from followers asking if I was ok. People had been so used to seeing me online everyday that when I wasn't posting, they were worried lol. I was so glad to be back on the laptop.
When Michael Jackson passed away, which was a terrible day for everyone....guess where I was? on that bloody laptop!! I'd read the first tweet from TMZ and I was in shock. I think I spent the majority of 24 hours online when MJ passed. 

So how did I get out of this? well, I had to go to Uni and travel everyday. It was hell at first and my mind was going crazy. I really did struggle but being forced into a social situation as scary as that is, actually helped me. It was the kick up the toosh that I needed!

I became so busy with Uni that my work placement and studying took over. I hardly had any time online. 

I count myself lucky for this because a lot of people don't have that certain something or someone to yank them out of a bad routine. I don't know if I could have done it completely on my own. I was like an addict and the laptop/online was my drug.

Nowadays I live a 'normal' (whatever that is) life. I'm busy everyday but I have my social media platforms on my phone. Am I still addicted? I'd say a tiny bit! there's days when I'm not online and I just schedule blog posts. I don't spend every hour of the day on it like before.

It's funny that I turned into such a social media addict because I grew up without all the social media stuff, maybe it was the novelty of it. All this information at the touch of your fingers, being able to chat to people from Hong Kong, America etc without having to leave your house lol

I wonder if anyone else has sat down and thought about how many hours a day they spend online, they'd probably be shocked. It isn't something to be ashamed of, these things happen, people can get carried away and lose track of time.

It's important to take some time away from social media and make sure your everyday life is sorted out and that you're not neglecting yourself, family, bills etc. 

Well, that's my experience which I was a bit embarrassed to share at first but I'm glad now that I have done.

What are your thoughts on this? if you're a blogger you could write about your own experience to help others or comment below. If you're going through this and need to chat, pop me an email: caledoniankblog@yahoo.co.uk or a DM in confidence on my Twitter page.

Thanks as always for reading, see you in the next post x 

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