Friends from hell | Personal post

We talk a lot about the bad relationships we've had in the past but what about the bad friendships? The idea for this post came out of the blue for me when I was thinking about previous so-called friendships that I've had over the years and how I've been pretty unlucky and quite naive with who I thought was my friend and being too trusting of people in the past.

These days I can count the number of real close friends on one hand and to be honest I'm quite happy with that. I've spend a lot of my life so far living between Scotland and England so hence why I've maybe had more bad experiences than some people when it comes to toxic friendships.

I could write a book when it comes to some of the experiences that I've had in my life so far lol but I'll just share a piece of it now here and I may include some more of my past experiences at a later date (I've got quite a few interesting tales I could tell ya!).

For once I hope you can't relate to this post! I hope you haven't had the misfortune of these types of ''friendships'' but even the regular bitchy friendships can be just as bad. People who you thought you could trust, stabbing you in the back or worse!

Grab a hot drink & maybe a snack cause this post is going to be a long one, put your tootsies up and have a good read....

The one who spreads your business: 

This is nothing new, we've all been here and if you haven't then you're really lucky and very rare! Something personal happened to me when I was 15 and I told my friend about it. This was a friend who I'd known (or thought I knew) since primary school. When I first moved to England (I lived here the first time from the ages of 10-15) we stayed in touch and when I'd go up to visit family in Scotland, I would also visit her.

Anyway back to opening up to her about the personal thing that happened to me. I had to take a few weeks off of school and when I went back....everyone knew! She'd lied and twisted a lot of what I had told her and to this day I don't know why she did it. I think that when I came back to Scotland, we were both 15, I was all about the makeup and 'blossomed' (if you want to say that lol) and I think she was secretly jealous of me. It was silly because I would have given her the shirt off of my back at the time and was always a good friend to her. I never told anyone anything she told me, even after what she did.

It was a very hard time for me and I left the school shortly afterwards anyway and never saw her again.

The one that hides cocaine in your bag:

How could that happen I hear you ask? well, it's quite easy actually. My 'friend' from the place I was working at the time suggested we have a girl's night out. We'd been friends at work for months, having lunch together, girly chats, that sort of thing and we decided to go on this night out.

She was a single mother of two children at the time and was about 5 years older than me. I only knew her really from work and thought of her as a mature person but with a fun side. She arrived outside my house in a car with some guy. She said he was an on/off boyfriend and that he was just giving her a lift. I remember at the time thinking that the guy looked really nervous but thought it was just me being daft.

We got into town and she asked me if I could keep her packet of cigarettes and wallet in my bag (she didn't bring a bag with her, just her wallet & cigarettes.) I didn't have a problem with it.  We went into a club and had drinks, a few dances and then she grabbed me and took me to the ladies room.

Once in the cubicle she asked for her cigarettes. The next thing I knew she pulled out a little bag of white powder and some pills (I didn't know what the pills were) out of the packet. At that moment I was just stood in horror. I was in shock because I didn't know she took drugs and also because these bloody things had been in my bag and god knows what would have happened if the staff at the club decided to search my bag for security reasons or something. It wouldn't matter if I tried to tell the police that I wasn't taking them because they'd assume I'd be trying to sell them or something.

It got awkward between us and I said there was no way I was putting them back in my bag. She took some of the powder and pills and I tried to stop her, she said I was being a bore and that she did this all the time and didn't know what my problem was.

As you can imagine the night didn't last that long, she phoned that guy up and went to his place, I went home still in shock and told my Dad all about it. He was freaking out about it as well.

On the Monday back at work she did say sorry but the 'friendship' was never the same after that and she ended up being fired from the job a few weeks later for theft.

The single white female one:

When I first came back down to England to live when I was 18, I did a course at college and met this girl in my class. We got on great and would go shopping together and nights out. My partner was living with me at the time but she was single. I didn't notice any issues at first until she met my boyfriend, she seemed 'icy' even though he bought her a drink to help make her feel at ease.

At the time I had Jet black hair and she suddenly started asking me where I bought my clothes, what hair dye I used and what was my favourite perfume. I took it as a compliment in the beginning until she copied basically everything, right down to the bag that I had.

She kept dropping hints that she wanted to move in with me and when I made it clear (in a nice way) that I didn't have the room, she suggested I get rid of my boyfriend. She said she'd seen him in town with other girls and didn't think he was treating me right (which was rubbish).

She wasn't happy that I wouldn't let her move in with me and was acting all kinds of weird. We started seeing each other less and less and eventually it just fizzled out. It was a really strange experience to say the least.

The secretly jealous one:

On my first day at a new job I met a girl who was starting alongside me so we got together and had lunch and did training sessions etc together. Months went by and we did the usual lunches, shopping, nights out etc. I got a promotion at work after months of working myself into the ground. I got on really well with my boss and the directors of the company because they appreciated all my hard work and the extra hours I put in.

I didn't notice any negativity from her, she acted pleased for me and suggested we go for a drink to celebrate. During the drink she (out of nowhere) told me she had a crush on someone at work. I assumed it was some guy, she was always having flings with different men and would tell me all the stories. She told me to guess and I went through a list of names.

After a while of this she looked at me and! It was an odd moment and I didn't know what to say. I tried to change the subject and we got onto the subject of the promotion and she asked me questions about whether I really wanted it or not which of course I did.

A few days later I got called into my boss's office and he kept asking me strange questions like ''Do you think this is for you''. ''If it's too much pressure for you we can sort something else out''. I had no idea what was going on.

It turned out that she had gone to the boss with ''concerns'' about me, telling them that I had mental health problems and didn't think I was going to be able to cope. We never had a discussion about mental health and all I ever told her about the job was that I was really excited.

It was plain to see that she wanted that promotion and she was trying to undermine me. I didn't find out the truth till weeks later and she ended up handing in her notice anyway when she saw that her plans to bring me down didn't work.
The one who slips something in your drink:

Another girl I met at work (there's a theme here lol). I got friendly with a girl at my new job and she was a part time university student studying to be an architect so I thought she was a pretty cool person. She was always really nice and didn't seem bitchy at all. She suggested we go to a club she knew at the weekend and I agreed.

I didn't know what to expect because she was quite a laid back, chilled out person at work so when she suggested this night club I was wondering if she was going to let her hair down and dance or be one of those that sits in the corner all night, either way I thought it would be nice.

We got into this club and the music was that techno kinda music. There was all kinds of people around us dancing like their lives depended on it. I saw one guy with his shirt off, dripping in sweat, jumping around like crazy. I thought, okay..this is a bit bonkers in here. She took me down to the first floor (it had 3 floors). On the first floor it had people sprawled out on red sofas and a little dance floor with more techno music and a bar that only sold water.

She told me it wasn't normally like this, that it was a really fun place. I decided I would just sit down and chat to her and hopefully we'd move onto somewhere else at some point. I went to the bathroom and left my glass of water with her. When I came back she was still sat by herself and we continued chatting. I noticed her face started to look really spaced out almost like her eyes were a bit droopy.

I asked her if she was ok and she dropped a bombshell.... ''Yeah, I dropped an E a bit ago''(Ecstacy). I had to ask her twice and couldn't believe it! I was worried sick! I couldn't believe she'd done that and she told me she did this every weekend and tried to offer me one. I refused point blank! I just kept thinking about Leah Betts

At this point you would've thought I would have been out of there in a flash but all I remember is going from being really worried about her to suddenly needing to dance to this rubbish techno music.

All I remember is this huge amount of energy and needing to dance, even though the music was awful, I didn't seem to care. Then I went from being carefree to somehow leaving this club at 5am (I know, crazy) and being extremely paranoid, I called my Dad who was just about finished his night shift and told him I thought my drink had been spiked and that I thought I was going to die.

I can't remember how the whole thing ended but I know my Dad was there and I drank some more water, he tried to calm me down and kept an eye on me. I texted my 'friend' and told her what had happened and asked her if she'd left my drink alone at any point and she said she didn't but to my shock she said that she put a 'little something in my drink'. I freaked out but she said she'd done it as a surprise so I would have a great time!

I couldn't believe it! She avoided me like the plague at work and just kept giving me this ''I'm really sorry'' look on her face whenever she did look at me. I think maybe she was worried that I would tell the police or something. I didn't tell anyone except my Dad obv. I did think that she was sorry in the end but that doesn't change the fact that it should never have been done.

Funnily enough (not that this is a funny subject in the slightest but) I was reading the local newspaper some time after this and that very same club had been shut down for being a drugs factory!!

I was really slow on the uptake with this lol (and a few of my other past 'friendships') anyone else would've probably looked at the place and put two and two together.

I put too much trust in people back then and learned the hard way. I had lucky escapes if you think about it. I wish I wasn't so naive back then.

The one who runs off with your concert tickets:

There used to be a festival in Leeds called 'Party in the park' and the tickets used to be free. You had to go to the town hall to collect them. Me and my friend from school decided we wanted to go together especially as I was going to be moving back to Scotland soon.

My friend was sick with the flu and there was a deadline for the tickets so I travelled into Leeds and stood in the queue for hours at the town hall hoping that I'd be able to get two tickets. I managed to get them and thought I'd pop in and surprise my friend (who I considered my best friend, we even had friendship bracelets and all that cheesy stuff lol) to let her know that I had the tickets.

She was over the moon and I stayed at her house for a few hours and we watched videos and we had tea. I realised that I better get the next bus to get home and when I got home I realised the tickets were not in my bag. I called her in a panic and she she said it was ok, that she had them and would keep them safe.

In my mind I had no reason to doubt her. We'd been friends for a few years at that point. All the way up to the concert we hung out, phoned each other and all was well. We arranged what time I should go over to hers and then set off for the concert.

The day of the concert I arrived as we'd planned (she said her Dad would be driving us) and when I got there her Dad answered the door. He said that she'd gone to the concert with her friend Stacey. I stood there in shock and my heart sank. Her Dad looked really sorry for me. She took the tickets what I had gotten for us and went with this other girl, I was really hurt by that (I was only young at the time so this was a big deal to me and I couldn't understand why she did it)

I went home in floods of tears and my Dad was angry about it but bless him he had a friend who had a spare ticket and I ended up going on my own, I went to a concert on my own lol!

I never bumped into her or her friend and I never saw her again after that but that was a horrible moment being stood on that doorstep at her house.

The one that emotionally abuses you:

In my first year of university there was a group of girls that I hung around with during class cancellations, study groups and going for coffee after classes. One of the girl's dropped out of University because she said she couldn't cope with the workload so we kept in contact through texts and emails. 

She would make a lot of comments about weight and people's looks. She'd go on about her own weight all the time and I used to try to support her and listen to her when she needed to vent about things. I didn't see her for a few months and then I got a text from her asking to meet up for lunch and shopping for a right good catch up.

I went through to meet her and she'd invited another girl along, she never mentioned anyone else was joining us but that was ok, the more the merrier as far as I was concerned. Things began pleasant enough before she started making comments about people in the restaurant that we were in and the friend she was with was joining in. 

They both turned their attentions to me and she told her friend in front of me ''Sometimes it was difficult walking around uni with Jo, people would look at her like she was an alien or something''. I responded to this by saying that I thought it was down to me just looking different and sometimes people try to work out where I'm from because of the dark hair and eyes. She disagreed and said ''No, they were looking at you with a disgusted look on their faces, like they didn't like the look of you''. 

At that point I was wondering what the hell was going on. These two were sat across from me and the atmosphere was awful. She went on to talk about my makeup, my hair, my sense of style etc and basically picked me apart in front of this girl who was nodding her head in agreement. I wondered where all this had come from? there was no falling out between us, I always supported her and thought we got on fine. 

I sat and squirmed in my chair and felt horrendous. I felt self conscious and was led to believe that everyone was looking at me because of the things she was saying. I started to second guess how I looked and dressed. They started being patronising too, telling me that I shouldn't be ashamed of how I looked and it's what's inside that counts, beauty isn't everything.

I was ready for smacking the pair of them if I'm honest, it was awful! I decided enough was enough and told her I was going and to never contact me again. She gave me some crap about 'trying to help me', absolute rubbish! It was just pure bitchiness out of nowhere.

Why did it happen? it could be jealousy?, the fact that I was still on the course and doing well, who knows? 

It really hurt me and dented my confidence for a little while but I soon got over it. 

Well that was quite a post, it was a bit painful to go through all those memories but I'm glad that I did. It's crazy to think that people like this exist but I take it as lessons learned. I'm very careful around people now and I'm careful about what I share and who I trust.

Have you had a friend from hell? leave comments below, tweet me or email: 

If you've managed to get through all of this post, I salute you and thank you!

See you in the next post x 

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